Good Vibrations
by Cinnamunk
Summary: With her 25th birthday approaching, her friends pairing off, and her forever crush firmly ensconced in ANBU, Sakura feels decidedly gloomy about her romantic prospects. One Ino-led shopping trip and a mysterious midnight visitor later, things are looking up for our favorite, pink-haired kunoichi. Or are they? SasuSaku. Non-mass AU. Fluff/lemon with some soapy angst/drama.
1. Sakura's Big Night

_[AN: Hi there! I wrote this piece as a mental break from the comparative seriousness/angst/massiveness of the upcoming chapters of my current main squeeze, "Secrets of the Sharingan" (which, shameless plug, I totally encourage you to check out if you like my style). What follows is pretty much pure, hopefully amusing fluff (with a small side of feelings, because I can't help myself) that I'm planning on leaving as a one-shot (unless further inspiration strikes... you never know!). Please note that the content is most certainly rated M for mature themes, mature activities, and language. As always, comments/favorites/follows are appreciated, and I do not own the characters, as much as I might wish to. Hopefully, you have as much fun reading as I did writing!]_

It was times like these that Sakura wondered how she hadn't yet murdered Yamanaka Ino.

The day had started out pleasantly and innocently enough, as most weekend days in Konoha tended to. With a free schedule and only six weeks left until Naruto's and Hinata's wedding, Sakura had jumped at her best friend's suggestion of indulging in a little retail therapy. How she ended up walking home from the afternoon of shopping with a discreet little brown bag containing a _vibrator_ , she wasn't entirely sure. But it was 100% Ino's fault.

If the truth be told, she rather needed a break. Blame it on the fact that her peer group was inching closer to their mid-twenties, the unseasonably early spring (the past week it had hit 75 degrees, and her birthday was still a week away!), or the remarkable span of peace that they'd experienced ever since Uchiha Itachi defied his clan to negotiate the successful end of what could have otherwise been one hell of a coup, but love was very much in the air. For everyone, it seemed, except for a certain pink-haired kunoichi.

Sakura had never exactly been the jealous type. Indeed, when Naruto had confided in her ten months ago that he planned on proposing to the Hyuga heiress and requested her assistance with picking out a ring, she'd been positively ecstatic. And when Hinata had invited her to be a bridesmaid two months later, she'd been over the moon. And she'd joined the rest of the Konoha Twelve - _well, Eleven; Sasuke had never been one for parties_ \- in heartily toasting the long-anticipated engagement of Neji and Tenten during the Winter Festival. And she'd enthusiastically hugged the weapons mistress when the dark-haired girl had stumbled up to her in the Twisted Kunai in the wee hours of the morning and drunkenly asked her to be her bridesmaid. And then, just last month, following a Valentine's Day dinner date between Ino and Shikamaru that "wasn't a date, Forehead, I _swear_ ; we're just getting together for a team dinner... on Valentine's Day... without Asuma-sensei and Choji," hadn't she happily received the blonde's sappy four AM phone call telling her that _yes_ , they'd totally done it; Shika was basically a sex god _(ohmygod, Forehead, I didn't even know it was possible to do_ that _with your tongue!)_ ; that he _may_ have popped the question post-coitus before promptly falling asleep ( _the lazy ass!_ ); and that Sakura had better not plan on signing up for any long-term missions for the foreseeable future because she utterly refused to have anyone else for her Maid of Honor?

Yes, she was an _exceedingly_ good sport, particularly given the sorry state of her own love life. Which was, to be honest, basically nonexistent. Okay, well, she'd had her share of kisses. Six, in total (because yes, she was totally counting). Her first was an exceedingly awkward one with Naruto when she was sixteen "to see what the big deal was about." Then, there were four with Kiba over the two-week period that she'd agreed to date him, the last one including tongue, which was admittedly the moment she'd realized he _really_ wasn't her cup of tea. Then, most recently, there had been a rather uncomfortable exchange at her twenty-fourth birthday party almost a year ago while dancing with some random Sand shinobi whose rushing hands and roaming eyes had suggested that he'd had a whole lot more on his mind than just kissing her that night.

And she'd been tempted. Really, she had. While a stranger, in the semi-darkness of the bar, his dark brown hair and dusky grey eyes _almost_ reminded her of the boy - scratch that, _man_ ; they hadn't been children in years - she'd not-to-secretly wished had been the one to give her a birthday kiss. But he hadn't been in Konoha that night. He almost _never_ was these days. Which was frustrating but perfectly understandable given his position. For, unbeknownst to almost everyone except the Yondaime, his current teammates, his immediate family, a few of his clan elders, and Sakura (who needed to know as his personal medic), Uchiha Sasuke had followed his brother in joining the ranks of ANBU two-and-a-half years ago. It was a great honor, and Sakura was thrilled to see her former teammate doing so well for himself and finally, _finally_ earning some of the respect his father and clan elders had never shown him as "the spare," as he rather darkly called himself. She just wished it didn't have to come at the cost of a lifetime of spinsterhood. For, despite what she'd claimed at the age of eighteen when Ino had accused her of "still hankering after him like some sad little kitten," she was still hopelessly, miserably in love with Sasuke, and she'd realized over the past year as her friends had begun pairing off that she didn't really _want_ to be with anyone else. Not Naruto (although, that ship had long sailed given his rapidly approaching nuptials), not Kiba, not the random Sand jonin from last year's birthday party. It had to be Sasuke. Or no one. And right now, it was looking an awful lot like no one might win out.

* * *

They met up around eleven outside of the Yamanaka Flower Shop, where her blonde friend had been working for a few hours already. These days, Ino was a jonin in her own right with enough medical training to take on weekly shifts at the hospital and a bloodline limit that had recently led to her appointment as an apprentice in Torture and Interrogation (not that the Department saw _all_ that much action in times of peace). That being said, she still held her childhood fondness for flowers and often joined her mother in the shop on weekend hours, assembling bouquets, meeting with clients, and manning the register. For the past few weeks, she'd been logging even more time than usual, working closely with the Hyuuga on Hinata's upcoming wedding decor. Between the clan wealth and Ino's eye for the exotic, it promised to be _quite_ the display of flora.

Ino gave Sakura a cheery wave as she exited through the front door, the little shop bell tinkling merrily. As she approached, her eyes narrowed critically, and Sakura could sense the insult coming. For, while they were best friends, they were also "Eternal Rivals" (to quote a certain jonin sensei with a passion for green spandex), and they could never let their relationship get too syrupy sweet. "Forehead! You're a sight for sore eyes. Don't tell me that that dress you've gone on is the same one you always wore during our genin days." She wrinkled her nose in teasing disgust. "I can't _believe_ it still fits, you lucky bitch. It's a good thing I'm taking you shopping. Your civilian wardrobe could _really_ use a makeover."

Sakura shrugged dismissively. "Good to see you too, Pig. Did you expect me to dress up for you? I figured that I'd passed that torch onto Shika, but I suppose he's probably too lazy."

Ino's eyes flashed in a rather unsettling way. _Uh oh._ Sakura knew that look well, and she didn't like it one bit. It had cropped up for the first time on the Yamanaka's face soon after she became sexually active at the age of fifteen - Ino had always been rather precocious - and told Sakura that she'd inadvertently said something… _sexual_. For her best friend knew far too well that Sakura was an almost-twenty-five-year-old virgin and took a perverse amount of pleasure in lording her comparative oceans of experience over her. "Oh, Forehead, you've got _no idea_ how into dress-up Shika-kun can be," she murmured underneath her breath, a rather predatory grin twisting over her face. "Although, usually _he's_ not the one doing the dressing..."

At that, Sakura's cheeks flushed, and Ino laughed rather bawdily. "You asked for it!" Then, seeming to remember that she was standing in front of her family's flower shop and that her _mother_ was right on the other side of the glass, likely watching them, she took hold of Sakura's left arm and urged her off down the bustling street in the direction of the shopping district. "Come on, Sak, we've got no time to waste! There are dresses to be bought, shoes to try on, cosmetics to sample, shop boys to charm! And, besides," she gave Sakura another one of those "more-experienced-than-you" smiles, "Your _birthday_ is next week, and I want you to help me pick out your present."

 _Well, it couldn't be worse than that lacy black lingerie Ino had gifted her last year, complete with a saucy little note... "Just in case, Forehead! I bet Sasuke-kun loves his women in black. That is, if he ever pulls his head out of his fine Uchiha ass. XOXO Ino"_ Utterly unprepared for a gift of that magnitude, Sakura had made the mistake of opening the package with her parents present. Almost a year later, she still wasn't sure she was over the embarrassment.

* * *

As they wandered through the open air mall, peering into this and that shop, Sakura felt some of the tension of the past few weeks roll off her shoulders. There was, after all, a reason they called it retail _therapy_.

Ino's surprise engagement had given her a lot to think about. With her best friend officially off the market, Sakura now bore the somewhat dubious distinction of being the only female member of the Konoha 12 uncommitted, and it was a bit of a bitter pill to swallow given her pathetic circumstances. After the moment with the Sand shinobi almost a year ago, she'd resigned herself to complete celibacy, telling herself it was better to be alone than kissing (or worse, sleeping) with some random guy. While she didn't subscribe to the mystique of saving herself for that one, perfect person, she _did_ want her first time - all of her times, really - to be with someone meaningful, someone she could honestly say she cared about and who hopefully cared about her, too. And right now, there was only one man she felt for in that way, one hopelessly attainable, rather aloof man who fortunately no longer viewed her as a complete annoyance (how could he when she'd been patching him up for over a decade, now?) but who'd also never given her any real sign of ever returning her interest.

"You doing okay, Forehead? You're awfully quiet today," Ino commented as they passed by a shoe store with a large display featuring sandals, flip flops, and espadrilles.

"Mhm. Just thinking. Do you have your shoes for Hinata's wedding already? Crazy that they're already selling summer shoes in March, neh?"

Ino ignored her sad attempt at changing the subject. "What're you thinking about, Sakura?" She lowered her voice slightly, ice-blue eyes expressing vague concern. "It's Sasuke, isn't it?"

Sakura didn't _want_ to admit to it, but all the talk of matchmaking and weddings over the past few months had worn her down, and she felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to confide in someone. "Hai. It's him. Again."

" _Again_ ," Ino repeated with a quality eye roll. "Gods, Forehead, I wish you'd wake up and smell the pheromones. I mean, I know he's hot and that you've shared a strange sexual tension for, like, a decade, but there are _so_ many other guys out there besides Sasuke. And I'm not just talking about weirdos like Lee." She was really hitting her stride now, and Sakura noticed a bit of her authoritative "medic" tone creeping into her voice. "You've got a decade of pent up desire, Sakura. You _really_ need to get it all out one of these days. Besides," she winked, "It's _way_ more fun that you'd think. Well, maybe not the first time, but -"

 _Ugh, this same old argument._ "Ino, please. We've been over this. I'm just not interested in anyone else right now. I'm _fine_ where I am -"

"Do you touch yourself?"

Sakura stopped in the middle of the street, cheeks growing bright pink in embarrassment. _Ino did_ not _just ask her that. In public. In the middle of the damn Konoha shopping district. On a busy Saturday._ "Wha-a-at?"

"Oh, don't be thick. Do. You. Touch -"

 _She did ask!_ "Shhh!" Sakura implored, looking around to see if there were any familiar faces, curious children, or even random eavesdroppers about. _Knowing her luck, someone like Kakashi or Shisui would pick that moment to shunshin in…_ but she was safe. The streets were bustling, but it appeared that no one was interested in the conversation of two twenty-something jonin kunoichi.

Ino cocked an eyebrow at her glowing face. "You're the one making a scene, you know. You look like a tomato." She smirked, and Sakura felt her face growing redder still. "Although, come to think of it, that might not be such a bad look for you. Isn't that Sasuke's favorite -"

"Ino!"

"Fine, fine. You're clearly not going to talk to me out here." At that, the blonde took her by her left arm, pulling her towards three stairs that led to a basement-level shop with a faded red awning. "Let's duck inside. It looks quiet, and we'll be away from any prying eyes."

Sakura allowed herself to be hauled through the black door into a dim room, a little bell tinkling as the door shut behind her. As her eyes adjusted from the bright daylight of the street and she took in the array of merchandise, the kunoichi's jaw dropped, the blush that had faded from her cheeks roaring back anew. Lace and leather outfits; massage oils; toys of every size, color, and type; and a healthy selection of printed literature and videos surrounded them, neatly organized on shelves around the walls. "This is… a _sex shop_ ," she hissed at her best friend, tugging her arm backward in a futile attempt to get her to leave. Sakura had _never_ set foot inside one of these places before and had certainly not planned to with Yamanaka Ino.

Ino, however, remained completely calm. Giving Sakura's hand a sympathetic little pat, she smiled back knowingly. "Of course it is. I _intended_ to bring you in here. For your birthday this year, I thought we could find a solution to your little Sasuke problem, and this is the perfect place. I shop here _all_ the time. The owner's super sweet, the prices are the best in Konoha, and they're a sex-positive, kunoichi-centric, judgment-free zone. Now, tell me, Sakura, do you masturbate?"

Sakura glanced around the store, her anxiety growing as her eyes settled on a series of brightly colored, cylindrical objects that were well, freakishly large. While she'd never seen a fully aroused penis before, she'd seen more than her fair share of flaccid to semi-rigid men in her work as a medic (because, as she'd learned from Tsunade, "erections can happen to the best of us at the most inconvenient times") and knew from those experiences that some of these dimensions were positively absurd. _There's no way that blue one on the left would_ ever _fit… although I suppose you could try_ , Sakura found herself musing, only to realize seconds later _what_ exactly she was contemplating and completely losing her cool. _No. Absolutely not._

Ino chuckled, bringing Sakura back to reality. "I was thinking we'd start a bit smaller, actually, Forehead," she murmured conspiratorially, evidently noticing exactly which toy had attracted her friend's attention. "Good thinking, though. I don't know anyone who's actually seen _it_ , but given the size of his ego and if he's anything like his cousin Ebisu, I can't imagine that Sasuke-kun's _not_ packing serious goods. And it certainly doesn't hurt to be prepared for whatever the future may bring. But, quit stalling; this is important. Do you touch yourself?"

"I… _yes,_ " Sakura whispered back, dropping her eyes to the floor in utter shame (never mind the mind-numbing thought of Sasuke's nethers). There was absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating - it was perfectly natural and healthy - but _admitting_ to doing it to someone, even if it was only Ino, in a place where they could be overheard (the shop seemed empty, but there had to be shopkeeper somewhere) was not something she'd been prepared to do when she'd woken up that morning.

"Awesome." Out of her periphery, Sakura caught a bright smile on Ino's face. It seemed genuine, and the knowledge that her friend seemed to be done with teasing her lifted her confidence a bit. Ino moved towards a display to the left of the fake penises. _Dildos, they're called dildos_ , the pink-haired kunoichi remembered with a little blush as she allowed herself to be pulled after her friend. "So, I'm obviously open to any ideas or preferences you have, as long as you stay within my budget, but I was _thinking_ of getting you a bullet vibrator." Ino pointed to the second shelf, and Sakura eyed the pictures on the boxes with wary interest. "They're pretty discreet, reliable, and so, so awesome. It's like a little oval massager for your clit."

" _Ino!_ "

"What? Don't be a prude, Sakura. That's what you do when you touch yourself, you know. I shouldn't have to explain that to Konoha's #2 ranked medic. Anyway, I've got this one, and I _love_ it." She pulled a rectilinear box off the shelf, handing it to Sakura, and the kunoichi tried to force herself to read the rather comprehensive explanation on the back of the package without blushing too fervently. "As you can see, you can also get several other attachments to go with it - including one you can use with your partner - but we don't have to go into that right now." Ino paused, and Sakura looked up to find that her friend's blue eyes were watching her carefully. "If this doesn't do it for you, we can ask for help, too. Like I mentioned earlier, Sato-san is absolutely lovely and super knowledgeable; I think she's in the back right now, but I'm totally happy to go get her so that you know all your options..."

 _Oh great, just what she needed. Talking about sex toys and her self-pleasuring habits with a total stranger._ "No! Uh, I mean, _no_. It's fine, Ino. I'll go with your recommendation. Thank you," Sakura managed to sputter out, covering the image on the box with her hand in a sudden fear that someone would see her holding it. _I_ _f anyone found out about this purchase, she'd_ die.

"Sounds good!" Ino said cheerily, proudly taking the box out of her possession and making her way over to the checkout counter. "I'll expect a full report after your first session. Now, anything else while we're in here?" Sakura felt her eyes widen, and Ino chuckled. "Oh my god, your face. I'm _obviously_ kidding. But seriously, you need to relax about this whole escapade. You're almost twenty-five, Forehead! I know you've never done _it_ , but it's totally healthy to be in touch with your sexual side, you know."

Sakura nodded mutely and waited quietly by Ino's side as she made small chat with the shopkeeper, silently cursing the blonde idiot for loudly introduced her as "Haruno Sakura, the legendary Slug Princess's protege!" _Did_ everyone _need to know who she was?_ Once Ino paid, she made a beeline for the door, her friend following smugly behind her. "Oy, Forehead. This is _yours,_ you know. It might be a present, but you can at least carry the bag." With a sigh, Sakura took the parcel, extremely grateful that there were no telling labels or tags, and they headed out into the street.

They shopped for a few more hours, with Ino picking up a dress, a pair of shoes, and an off-the-shoulder top that Sakura found a bit risque but her friend just adored. Meanwhile, Sakura did rather well for herself, as well. The blonde's comment about the age of her favorite dress still running through her head from that morning, she ended up purchasing several new dresses for the coming spring, including a rather flirty black number for going out that Ino insisted she just _had_ to wear to her birthday party next week. "Now that Hinata, Tenten, and I are all old, affianced ladies, we'll have to live vicariously through you, Forehead!" She told Sakura cheerily, absentmindedly twisting the diamond engagement ring resting on her left ring finger as they stood in the department store checkout line. "In _that_ , the boys won't be able to keep their hands off of you." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Not even a _certain Uchiha_. Well, if he ever bothers to stay in the village for more than an hour. And unless he's into guys." Her eyes went wide. "Hey, Sakura, he's _not_ into guys, is he? I mean, I could care less which way he swings, but that would explain _so fucking much_."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "He's on a mission right now; I doubt he'll be back for my birthday. And, _no_ , he's not," she hissed back, intimately aware that the civilian woman in line behind Ino was eyeing her beadily. "At least, as far as I know. I mean, we never really talked about that sort of thing back when we were teammates."

"But you'd _know_ now, right? I mean, since you're his assigned medic."

"Hmm…" This conversation was heading into dangerous territory; Ino knew better than to talk about patient information, particularly in such a public setting. Moreover, while Sasuke wasn't the Uchiha heir, he was part of the main family, and this gave him a certain amount of notoriety throughout the village. Throw in the facts that he was exceedingly easy on the eyes and one of Konoha's most eligible bachelors, and Sakura wouldn't be surprised to find out that more than one or two of her fellow shoppers would be interested in hearing such fascinating details about his personal life. The redhead behind Ino certainly was, at any rate.

Fortunately, at that moment, Sakura made it to the head of the line, giving her the opportunity to strike up an extremely animated conversation with the salesperson about the unseasonably warm weather they'd been having and escape her best friend's interrogation. _Ugh, it had been_ such _a mistake fessing up to Ino about Sasuke. Now, the girl was_ never _going to leave her alone._

* * *

After an early tempura dinner, Sakura headed home to her one-bedroom apartment, a ten-minute walk from the shopping district, laden down with bags, the smallest of which felt like the largest burden. Her best friend had always been full of surprises, but she'd really outdone herself today. Sakura wasn't really sure _what_ to think at this point... but she was, admittedly, rather curious. Never in her life had she _ever_ envisioned owning a sex toy, much less using one, but she could see the appeal as she mulled it over. Besides, if Ino said it was good, it probably was, right? After all, her friend had always been her source for sex-related knowledge, and, to date, she'd never let her down.

Letting herself into her apartment, Sakura crossed through her living room, turned on the overhead lights, and went into her bedroom, setting the shopping bags on her queen bed. She switched on the lamp on her bedside table and then proceeded to hang her new dresses in her closet, smiling to herself as her hands ran over the black fabric of her upcoming birthday party dress. _Now, if only she_ knew _that Sasuke would be there._ She'd learned after several years of disappointments _not_ to get her heart set on the Uchiha being around. In addition to his natural proclivity to avoid anything that required socializing, Sasuke's workload had kept him out of Konoha far more than he was in it pretty much from the moment he'd become a jonin, and his additional ANBU responsibilities over the past couple of years had only served to further expand his time away. _Still, a girl could dream…_

Turning back to the bed, Sakura's eyes went to the remaining package, the inconspicuous little brown bag from Ino. Settling onto her forest green bedspread, she somewhat nervously reached in and pulled out the box containing the vibrator. Curious to see what she was in for, Sakura opened up the package and pulled out a small manual and the toy itself, hands running over the smooth, bright-pink silicone oval. As Ino had promised, it was surprisingly small and subtle in appearance. She pressed the little button near the base, and the vibrator sprung to life in her hands with a little hum. The sensation was surprisingly powerful, and that appeared to just be the first setting. _How… interesting._ Sakura squeezed together her thighs as the familiar tingle of arousal rose up inside her core and switched it off, setting it down on her bedside table for later. _Yes, it appeared that she might have been_ very _wrong indeed to doubt Ino. But to know for sure, she'd have to give it a little test run. Very soon._

But first, she'd treat herself to a glass of wine (or three, she was Tsunade's student, after all), a bubble bath, and some soft jazz. The past few months had been a particularly busy time at the hospital, and she could use some serious relaxation. Besides, given that she was apparently well on her way to a life of perpetual singledom, she might as well get used to romancing herself.

Stripping off her red dress, bra, and panties, Sakura wrapped her cream-colored terry robe around her body, stopped by the bathroom to turn on the tub, and then headed to the kitchen for a bottle of Pinot Noir and a wine glass. Grabbing the novel she'd been reading off of the coffee table - some pulpy romance between a self-made kunoichi and a hunky shinobi off on a multi-month two-man mission that Ino had recommended - she returned to the bathroom; set the bottle, glass, and book next to the tub; got the jazz cranking; and poured a generous amount of her favorite lavender bubble bath into the tub, sighing happily as the lightly floral scent filled the air. With the tub nice and full, she turned off the spout, stripped off her robe, poured herself a glass of the wine, and slid into the steamy water, savoring the absolutely exquisite sensation of the heat enveloping her slender body. _Ahhh, yes. She might not have a husband, a fiance, a boyfriend, or even a halfway attainable crush, but this…_ this _was the life._

* * *

Three-and-a-half generous glasses into her wine, Sakura was startled out of the happy lull into which she'd fallen by the distinct sound of footsteps in her living room. _Shit!_ As a medic-nin, Sakura wasn't unused to surprise nocturnal visitors - some of her more elite jonin patients preferred not to check themselves into the hospital if they could help it - but she really hadn't expected anyone tonight. Four of the leading offenders, Kakashi, Naruto, Kiba, and Shisui, were currently in town, and the two who were away, Sasuke and Itachi, weren't due back from their respective missions for another week or two at the earliest. So, either someone had somehow come back extremely early (the Uchiha brothers were both dreadful overachievers, after all), someone had gotten into one hell of a bar fight (bets were on Naruto, with Kiba and Shisui as outside contenders), or it was someone outside the usual cast of characters. Which was a somewhat concerning concept. As a kunoichi, she was fully capable of dealing with the vast majority of threats. She just wasn't accustomed to doing so straight out of the tub, in a bathrobe, with most of a bottle of wine in her system.

But desperate times called for desperate measures. Draining her glass _(no use letting good wine go to waste)_ , Sakura set down her book and rose out of the tub, shivering slightly as the cool air kissed her too-warm skin. Drying herself off and wringing the excess water out of her hair, Sakura tightly wrapped her robe around her figure, giving herself a small smile of satisfaction in the mirror. With her face flushed from a combination of the heat and the alcohol and her hair damp from her bath, she looked rather ravishing. If she didn't say so herself. _Hm… that was probably the wine talking. But enough ogling her reflection; she had ass to kick… or heal, depending on the intruder's identity._

Stepping into the hall, Sakura glanced left, then right, establishing that her visitor was in her living room. Stumbling slightly - _stupid carpet getting underfoot again_ \- she entered the room, a vague sense of irritation prickling up her spine. _Would she_ ever _be allowed to have a quiet night in? Stupid little Sakura. She really should have turned Sasuke away that first time he'd decided to try her window instead of checking himself into Konoha General, back when he'd been nursing a broken wrist five years ago. But_ nooo _, he'd "needed" her that night, and she'd stupidly consented, thrilled at the prospect of a late-night rendezvous with the boy she'd been dreaming about for basically forever. Of course, it had only turned out to be for medical purposes, and he'd been on his merry fucking way back to the Uchiha district in short order. And, now, thanks to that one moment of weakness, she was at the beck and call of a veritable rolodex of elite jonin._

As she took in the scene before her, her irritation shifted from pleasure to concern to rage in a matter of seconds. _It was_ Sasuke… _but he was injured… rather badly it appeared. And bleeding on the lovely dove-grey sofa she'd purchased with last year's hospital bonus! Fuck!_ _She_ knew _that black would have been a more practical choice. Why oh why had she listened to Ino?_ Rushing over to his side, Sakura knelt on the wooden floor, reminding herself that she could yell at him about the mess later, once he wasn't quite so close to passing out. "Sasuke-kun, what happened?" She breathed, accidentally throwing in the honorific she'd tried to school out of her vocabulary over the past few years.

"Tch. Mission," he replied shortly, shifting uncomfortably on the couch. _That meant it was an ANBU assignment._ Even though she was his medic, he still wasn't supposed to tell her anything that she didn't absolutely need to know for healthcare purposes _._ "Sorry... about the blood."

"It's fine. It doesn't matter," she lied, too mollified by his apology to give him the chewing out he deserved. Sakura's eyes narrowed as she carefully scanned his body, plotting out her plan of attack. It appeared that he had some sort of stab wound on his left bicep, which was where most of the blood was coming from. Moreover, while he'd never exactly been a wordsmith, the vaguely slurred speech and the dazed way he was looking at her suggested that he had a concussion. _And_ he was holding his right ankle at a rather funny angle. Well, all this was nothing she couldn't fix, but protocol dictated that he'd need a good week or two off before going on any further missions and that he'd be staying the night. As a teen, the idea of staying in an apartment, overnight, alone with Uchiha Sasuke would have utterly thrilled her. Now, well, a part of her still didn't mind the intrusion, but the other half was rather mourning the loss of the quiet night in.

Hands glowing green, Sakura addressed the sword wound first. Given the length and depth of the slash, it appeared that he'd been attacked with a katana. Whoever it was must have been a talented swordsman. After all, Sakura knew from over a decade of sparring together that her former teammate was scary fast. She closed up the laceration carefully to avoid any scarring and then turned her attention to his head. _This could get tricky._ Sasuke _hated_ physical contact, and healing brain trauma was best managed through direct touch. "You have a concussion, Sasuke," she murmured softly, hoping she sounded somewhat professional despite the late hour and her tipsy state. "In order to help with the healing, I'm going to need to place my fingers on your temples, okay?"

The dark-haired man nodded silently and then winced, the subtle motion evidently exacerbating his headache. Leaning over, Sakura brought her fingertips to either side of his head, her heartbeat quickening slightly at the sudden sense of intimacy that washed over her. Sasuke had shut his eyes - whether to drown out the pain or the unwanted closeness, she wasn't sure - and she took the opportunity to scan his handsome face, admiring his long lashes, perfectly straight nose, soft-appearing lips, and well-defined jawline. Reminding herself that she was supposed to be in medic mode, she allowed her chakra to begin to flow into him, stomach thrilling at the gentle sigh he released as his pain eased. _Mm… she could just imagine him making that noise in a_ very _different, much more intimate situation…_

As she removed her fingers from his temples, satisfied with the results for the time being, Sasuke's eyes flicked open, and she found herself drowning in the intense ebony of his gaze. "You've been drinking. _Alone_."

It wasn't a question, and the coolness of his tone snapped her out of her reverie. "Yeah, so?" She asked rather combatively. _Who was_ he _to question her life choices._ "It's a Saturday night, and I had off work today. Besides, it's not like you've never indulged."

"Hn."

He broke eye contact, looking back towards the sofa, and she turned her attention to his ankle. Very fortunately for him, it appeared to be sprained, not broken, but she patched him up anyway. Then, with her work done for the time being, Sakura turned her attention to the final issue, steeling herself for a potentially heated conversation."Sasuke… given your head, you'll need to stay here tonight, you know. It's Konoha Medical's concussion protocol."

"Fine." He turned his gaze back to hers, expression rather long suffering, and Sakura fought hard to keep the shock off of her face. He'd always insisted on going back to his parents' house in the past. _I guess he must still feel pretty lousy, then._

 _One last hurdle._ "Here, get up. I'll take the couch. Given your concussion, it's imperative that you get a good night of sleep." She stood quickly and started straightening the already neat books on her coffee table, seeking to hide the blush that she knew had blossomed across her face. The idea of Sasuke staying in her bedroom, sleeping in her bed was exceedingly hard not to get a bit worked up about.

"No."

"Yes."

"Sakura, no."

" _Sasuke, yes_. If you don't get in there, then we'll _both_ be sleeping on the couch, and Kami knows you don't want that."

 _Oh gods, that was the wine talking._ As soon as she said it, Sakura realized that she'd made a massive tactical error, and she felt the blush that she'd managed to suppress just a few seconds ago rise back up anew. For _years_ , she'd done everything she could to keep Sasuke unaware of her persistent crush, treating him like just any other friend or teammate, maintaining the perfect veneer of medic during all of his check-ups and treatments, avoiding any subjects of conversation that could be in any way construed as her coming onto him. And just with that one, stupid slip-up, she'd ruined it, ruined everything. _How could she be so stupid?_

Glancing up in utter embarrassment, Sakura was flabbergasted to discover that Sasuke was looking at her and… _smirking_. _Damn the handsome bastard; he_ liked _to see her squirm!_ She waited, breath bated, as he slowly brought himself to a seated position and then rose to his feet, making her feel exceedingly short and small. "Sakura -"

She knew what was coming. _He was going to say those words. Those hateful, hateful words that had plagued her childhood. That she was - complete with a dramatic, fully disgusted pause - annoying._ "Sasuke?" _Don't cry, don't cry. Don't fucking cry. You're a kunoichi, a jonin, the legendary Senju Tsunade's apprentice, the second-best medic in Konoha._ You _do not cry._

"Arigato." With that, Sasuke turned and made his way down the hall, slightly favoring his uninjured leg.

Sakura watched his retreating figure with a literally open mouth. Over the past few years, she'd thought that she'd come to understand Sasuke in all of his little idiosyncrasies and complexities, but for what had to be the thousandth time, he'd surprised her, forcing her to once again reconsider the very nature of their relationship. She'd always thought that her feelings for him were utterly hopeless and one-sided, but that exchange - the bemusement when she'd expected anger; the fact that he, the most stubborn man she knew, _listened_ ; the way that he actually thanked her despite his insufferable Uchiha genetics - well, it gave her hope. _Or he'd been hit in the head way harder than she thought..._

Turning her attention to the sofa, Sakura eyed the bloodstains rather sadly. Her mother would tell her to start scrubbing immediately if she ever wanted a prayer of getting the blood out, but given that she'd be sleeping there, she supposed she'd have to wait until tomorrow. She could use some blankets, though, and a proper pillow. Tracing Sasuke's path down the hall, she paused at the door frame of her still-open bedroom door, resisting the urge to peek around the corner. Even if he had taken her accidentally suggestive comment in stride, it would still be an exceeding invasion of his privacy to poke her head into the bedroom without knocking. For all she knew, he could be naked.

Banishing that impolitic thought from her dirty mind, Sakura knocked a bit tentatively on the wall. "Sasuke? Mind if I come in? My spare blankets are in the closet, and I'd like to grab them."

"Ah."

 _That was a "yes" in Uchiha-speak._ Sakura bustled into the room, shooting a furtive glance at her companion. He was sitting on her bedspread, shirt off, next to her bedside table and appeared to be rather preoccupied with something or other. Not wanting to get caught staring at his far too lovely to be legal shoulders and torso, she quickly averted her eyes and crossed to the closet, standing on her tiptoes to reach the spare blanket and pillow that she kept at the top. Just as she managed to pull down the sunshine-yellow sheet, however, an odd whirring sound clicked on from the general direction in which Sasuke was located. _What the… OH GOD. She knew what that sound was. No no no no. As if this night couldn't get any more awkward…_

Sasuke spoke, his voice slightly strained as it cut through the suffocating tension of the bedroom. "Sakura. What is this?"

The pink-haired woman whirled around, blanket and pillow clutched in her arms and brow furrowed in a mixture of utter shame and fear, a tiny part of her holding out hope that she was wrong, that he hadn't found _it_.

But, of course, he had. Those stupid Sharingan eyes missed nothing, not even when they were inactive. Her little, hot-pink vibrator sat in the middle of his left palm, whirling along happily, and he was eyeing it rather fixedly, left eyebrow cocked in an expression of overt curiosity. If it had been almost anyone else, she would have laughed at the absurdity of the situation. But this was _Sasuke_ , and his opinion mattered. A lot. "It's… it's a… it's a massager," she managed to eke out, successfully quenching the wave of nervous nausea that had risen alongside her embarrassment. "Yes, a massager. It's really good on your, uh, pressure points. Like your forehead and your neck. Oh, and your chakra points too. It's supposed to stimulate them." Fortunately, it seemed that the dulling effects of the wine were starting to fade away; she could hug herself for the brilliance of that fake explanation.

"Hn." Sasuke looked up, the vibrator still doing its thing on his palm. _Gods, could those dark eyes see through her lie?_ _They were so intense, and he didn't even have his Sharingan activated. It felt like they could burn through anything._ "Interesting. Show me."

 _Ino was going to die laughing if she ever get enough of a nerve up to tell her about this._ Suppressing the nervous giggles that had risen up into her own throat, Sakura nodded and attempted to channel her medic persona once again. If she was going to get away with this lie, she needed to really sell it. "Uh, sure, Sasuke." Setting the spare blanket and pillow on the foot of her bed, she sat down next to him, far enough so that they weren't touching, and he wordlessly passed her the vibrator, his expression impassive.

Suppressing a shudder at the combined sensation of his cool fingertips and the vibrations against her palm, Sakura gave him a smile. "It's really useful for relieving tension. I had a bit of a headache earlier, for example, so I used it on my forehead. Like this." Slowly, she ran the pink silicone across her too-wide forehead, steeling herself under the Uchiha's steady gaze. She didn't exactly want to bring attention to her forehead - while she'd mostly made peace with its size, she wasn't _proud_ of it - but it seemed the safest bet. After all, under Sasuke's watch, she wasn't sure she'd be able to deal with the feeling of the whirling against her wrist, never mind against the back of her neck or in any more intimate spots.

She shut her eyes momentarily in mock pleasure and then opened them again, extremely eager to see Sasuke's response. He was still watching her closely, and his eyes had a certain, heated quality to them that was doing funny things to her insides. "Sakura..." he murmured softly, his voice slightly lower and rougher than usual.

"Hm?"

"You're... using it wrong."

Sakura felt her heart beat slightly faster in her chest at _that_. "What do you mean, Sasuke-kun?" She asked softly, bringing the silicone oval away from her forehead. She could feel her eyes growing wide under his gaze. _Surely, he couldn't mean…_

"You're using it wrong," he repeated more forcefully, the ghost of a smirk beginning to creep up his lips. "I'm not an idiot, _Sa-kur-a_." He paused, and his smirk broadened into a rather hungry smile, lighting up his dark eyes. "It's a vibrator. You're supposed to use it… _on your clit._ "

 _Well, those were words she'd_ never _expected to hear Uchiha Sasuke utter_. At his pronouncement, Sakura let out a little gasp, her lips falling open in surprise and a familiar heat beginning to gather in her core. _So, if he knew it was a vibrator in the first place, why did he want to see how she used it? Either it was all a massive joke… or he actually wanted to see her get off. Given their history, she'd say it had to be the former, but he'd never exactly been Konoha's #1 jokester._ Swallowing hard, Sakura squeezed her thighs together, feeling uncomfortably warm. _There was nothing for it… but to ask._ "Sasuke-kun, if you knew what it was... why did you want me to demonstrate? Is this a joke?"

His hot hand drifted under the edge of her robe, fingers beginning to trace little circles just above her right knee, and she stifled a moan at the sensation. "Tch. You know I have no time for jokes, Sakura," he murmured, the silky smooth tone of his voice beyond deadly in its intensity. "I was hoping… you'd let me see _exactly_ how you use it. On yourself." He swallowed hard as his fingers worked their way further up her leg, now entering what was distinctly mid-thigh territory.

 _And just like that, she understood_ exactly _how Hinata used to feel every time she passed out around Naruto back when they were genin._ The heat of his gaze and the electricity of his touch were almost too much for her to bear. As his hands moved higher up her thigh, growing perilously close to her crotch, everything suddenly snapped into place. _He desired her. And she craved him._ "Okay," she replied, pleased that her voice didn't crack under the pressure of her lust.

"Hn?"

"I'll show you. I'll let you watch me."

"Ah."

With that, he withdrew his hand from her thigh - much to her frustration; he'd gotten _so_ close to touching her - and pulled her towards him, capturing her lips in a searing kiss before she had any time to process what he was doing. For a moment, she sat, frozen and unmoving. Then, her brain caught up with his actions, and she melted. His lips were so delightfully soft, warm, and firm against her own, the touch unhurried yet insistent, wordlessly communicating the depth of his desire. As his tongue slipped teasingly across her bottom lip, Sakura's breath hitched in her throat, and she let out a little moan that he answered with a teasing nibble. _Ungh, he was_ good _at this. Which meant that he was either a prodigy in the bedroom - which wouldn't exactly be a surprise given how good at everything else he tended to be - or he was far more experienced than she. But that was a conversation for another day…_

His tongue slid past her parted lips, swirling with hers, and she felt his hands run up her robe-covered body, settling themselves casually on the knot at her waist. " _Sakura_ …" he murmured reverently, his dexterous fingers slowly beginning to play with the sash, "May I…?"

"Mhmm…" she murmured, momentarily losing herself to the full and total awareness of _him_. He undid the knot, and she shrugged off the terry cloth fabric, baring herself from her shoulders to her navel, the fabric of the robe pooling around her slender waist. As the cool air of the bedroom hit her nipples, turning them to peaks, and Sasuke drew back, eager eyes running down her torso, she felt herself tense. She'd never been naked with a man before, and a sudden, overwhelming uncertainty flooded her soul, warming her cheeks to a rosy flush. _Oh Gods, what was she doing?_ While she'd long ago made peace with her forehead, her chest was still a bit of a sore spot. It was hard not to feel inadequate with Ino and Hinata around, after all, not to mention Tsunade herself. _What if he found her... lacking? It was increasingly clear that he'd been with other women before. Surely, her little B-cup wouldn't measure up?_

Her arms untwined themselves from Sasuke's broad shoulders - _when had that even happened?_ \- ready to hide herself from view, but he was too quick for her. Moving in closer than before, his lips traced a heated path across her left collarbone and down the top of her left breast before latching softly onto her nipple, tongue twirling the nub in a clockwise motion. At that, all thought of covering up vanished from Sakura's mind, and she let out what could only be called a needy groan. The sensation of _his_ tongue, doing _that_ , to _her_ … it was _too_ good. She bit her bottom lip in an effort to quench any further, unflattering noises, and Sasuke let out a chuckle, his breath hot against her bare skin as he raised his smoldering gaze to hers. " _So_ _sensitive_..."

His left hand traced its way up her back, causing her skin to prickle with pleasurable goosebumps, and then made its way along her left jaw. Tracing her lower lip, he slowly inserted his index finger past her bottom teeth, and she bit down lightly in a sudden bit of improvisation. It appeared she was onto something, for Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat in response. Below her, his eyes seemed even darker than before, the black pools drawing her in. " _Sakura_ … I want to see _more_ of you."

She nodded - _anything to keep this night going -_ and he rose back up from her breasts, wrapping his powerful arms around her so that her torso pressed up against his sinewy chest. He wasn't the most built shinobi in the village - the Uchiha body type tended to be strong, yet slender - but he was certainly a fine specimen, a testament to his countless hours spent training, and she delighted in the sensation of his firmness against her. He held her close for several instants, peppering her lips with hot kisses until she'd completely lost count, and then he was guiding her down until her back was flush with the mattress, her cream-colored robe shunted to one side, leaving her fully exposed to his gaze.

Sasuke rose up onto his knees above her, and Sakura again resisted the temptation to curl up into a little ball and hide herself from view. _She was a woman, damn it all. There was no reason to be ashamed of her body._ Instead, she smiled softly up at him, the hint of alcohol remaining in her bloodstream making her a touch bolder than usual. "Like what you see, Sasuke-kun?"

"Ah." He smirked, his eyes running freely over her nude form, lingering on her chest, her slender waist, and the candy-pink tuft between her thighs. Her confidence growing with the overt admiration in his gaze, she returned the favor, eyes trailing over his torso - broad shoulders, well-sculpted pecs, washboard abs with a hint at a six-pack - and then lower, taking in what could only be described as a sizable bulge in his tight, ANBU-issue pants. _He was so, unfairly good-looking._

Sasuke swallowed hard. Dragging his eyes back up to her face with what seemed a fair bit of effort, he licked his lips, his voice dark and inky. "Sakura, show me how you… _pleasure_ yourself." His left hand placed the vibrator in her right one, wrapping her fingers around it in the same, careful manner in which he'd long ago shown her the proper way to grip a kunai back when they'd been new teammates on Squad 7.

At that, Sakura frowned, suddenly a bundle of nerves. _Where was that courage she'd shown just a few moments ago when she_ really _needed it?_ "Um, Sasuke-kun, I've never actually… _used_ this," she admitted, her voice frustratingly small and weak. "Ino got it for me today as an early birthday present, and I was going to test it out for the first time tonight. I'm… sorry."

 _Ugh, what was she doing? Why was she apologizing? Why did he_ always _make her feel like she needed to apologize? It was just like when she'd been a silly little fan girl, tripping over herself in the hope that some day she'd measure up to…_

 _Wait. Was he…_ chuckling _?_ Contrary to popular belief, she was aware that Uchiha Sasuke laughed, but he didn't do so often; only when something had truly tickled him. She glared upwards, embarrassment fading to irritation at his ego. _He had her naked and horny on her bed, and now he dared to laugh at her? Bastard…_

"Sakura," he murmured, his mirth subsiding as he scanned her face, "You really are… _annoying_."

 _Oh, yes, he was a fucking bastard, all right. And she was going to make him pay for_ that _. The minute she got on a pair of panties, he was_ dead _. Fuck him and his concussion. Ino was right; she really could do so much -_

Before she could make any sort of move, however, he was on top of her, kissing her hard. His pelvis connected with hers, grinding her steadily into the mattress, and she felt her resolve slipping away in a haze of lust. He'd always had impressive reflexes, and it appeared that they were no different in the bedroom. Once he seemed certain that she wasn't about to knock him out, he allowed her a breather, his forehead resting up against hers. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to seem _virginal_ ," she admitted without thinking. She felt her cheeks go scarlet as she realized the implications of what she'd said. _And just like that, Uchiha Sasuke officially knew she was virgin. Worse and worse._

Sasuke seemed to take the admission in stride, however. If he cared, he didn't show it. Instead, he began to stroke the sides of her torso most tantalizingly, closely watching her. "Ah. And why would that matter?"

"I'm almost _twenty-five_ , Sasuke-kun. The rest of the Konoha 12 are all getting married, and I haven't even had sex yet."

"Hn. Why is that?"

"Because… I haven't found the right person." _Well, I have. But it's you._

"Ah." His brow furrowed slightly, and Sakura found herself cursing her misfortune. _Five minutes ago, she'd had it all; she was going to put on a little show for the guy of her dreams and then hopefully move on to fucking his brains out. And now… well, she'd fucked it all up. Again. Stupid big mouth. Stupid little Sakura._

"Sakura?"

"Yes?"

"I don't suppose… you'd let me?"

His eyes were locked on hers, no hint of mirth on his face, although the way his body was tensing told her that he was somewhat nervous. _Probably afraid that he's about to get clobbered into next Tuesday._ But that couldn't be further from the truth. Sakura took a deep breath, thinking hard. _She loved him; she'd known_ that _for years. And after tonight… well, it was too much to expect that he'd return her feelings entirely, but it was clear he cared about her._ "I… _would_."

Then, he was kissing her. And kissing her. And kissing her. And she never wanted it to end. And his hands were on her body with a renewed fervor, tracing the outline of her figure, cupping her breasts, making her moan as they slipped over her lower abdomen, across her thighs. And then his lips were making their way down, down past her collarbone, past her nipples, down her stomach, all the way down to the tangle of curls hiding her heated core. And then his hands were on her thighs, holding her open to his gaze, ignoring her protestations that she might not be clean, that it was gross, that he _really_ didn't have to do this, and - _oh, Kami_ \- he was licking her _there_ , teasing her. And she couldn't help it, she had to moan, had to thrash, had to grip onto his lovely black hair, full and dark as the night sky outside her window. And _oh_ did it feel good; it was everything Ino had promised, everything she'd always wished for. For this was Sasuke, and he was making her feel so good, and she couldn't help it. She couldn't stand it… couldn't stop it. And then she was screaming and bucking and moaning, and he was licking and nuzzling and teasing, his dark eyes upon her, telling her that this was okay, that this was all right, that she could let go...

And she did. And she came, falling apart with his name on his lips, his rough hands gripping her thighs, relentless as they kept her in place, forcing her to ride out the wave of pleasure overtaking her. _And oh, she would do almost anything to experience that again._

Sasuke kissed his way back up her suddenly limp body, his hair mussed rather pleasingly from her grip and a self-satisfied smile on his face. "Good?"

 _Smug bastard. He_ knew _he was._ "Mm," she admitted softly, her hands running along his heated chest as she savored the feeling of his larger body above hers, the softness of the lips that soothed her with surprisingly tender kisses, the subtle scent of pine and smoke that always clung to him. She shut her eyes, delighting in the warm happiness of her orgasm, a strange sense of belonging flooding her senses.

"Sakura?"

"Hm?"

"You're not falling asleep on me, are you? I had _more_ in mind for you… if you wish it."

 _More. Yes, she could definitely go for more._ Pink lashes flickering open, she met Sasuke's ebony eyes with her own jade, smiling happily at the peaceful expression on his face. "I'd like that." There was no embarrassment, no hesitancy between them now. _He was hers, and she was his. At least for the night._

She kissed him softly, her lips echoing the promise of her words, and he returned the gesture with a tender warmth that made her toes curl. "Sakura," he murmured against her lips, "This might… be uncomfortable, you know."

"I know. I'm a medic, Sasuke. It's all right. I know that you'd never intentionally hurt me. I _want_ this. I want you. I've always wanted it to be you." She felt a bit like she was babbling… but he needed to know this. _All of this._

"Hn." A strange look ran over his face at her admission, but it wasn't the fear or discomfort she'd expected. Instead, his eyes burned with a fire she'd never before seen in his gaze, inspiring her heartbeat to quicken. If she didn't know better, she would have said that that look was one of… _but no, that was foolishness. She was letting herself getting carried away by the physicality of what they were doing._

Giving her a final, lingering kiss, he quickly stripped himself of his pants, rose up onto his knees, and positioned himself between her spread thighs, aligning himself with her core. Glancing down between them, she felt her eyes widen slightly at the sight of his erection. _That was certainly… something._ "Like what you see _, Sakura?_ "

 _Of course, the smart ass threw her words from earlier right back at her. Cocky bastard._ Preparing herself to make some sort of comment about being entitled to look, the words died on her lips, shifting to a moan of half-pleasure, half-pain as a new sensation flooded her senses. "Oh, _Kami_ , Sasuke," she gasped, her hands gripping into the bedspread as she attempted to adjust to the sensation of him. _All right, yes, he had reason to be proud. He was going to split her in half with that thing if he wasn't careful._ But he was careful. So careful and gentle as he eased his way into her that she found fat, happy tears welling at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over any moment. _Couldn't she do_ anything _without dissolving into an emotional puddle?_

And, of course, being _him_ , he noticed. Dark eyes that had been hooded with pleasure widened into a look of striking concern. "Sakura, you're crying. Should I stop?"

"N-n-n-no, that's all right," she gasped out weakly, the tears starting to fall down her hot cheeks at the realization of how much he _cared_. _What a mess._ "Keep going. I'm not crying… because it hurts. It's because… I've wanted this for so damn long…"

"Ah." For over a decade, she'd hated those stupid monosyllables. The "Hns," the "Ahs," and, most of all, the damnable, "Tchs." She'd realized long ago that they were a linguistic weapon, a little mannerism, as sharp as the kunai and shuriken he favored, that he used to effectively cut off conversation and avoid any and all prying. But now, well, she had a new appreciation for "ah," at least. The sheer simplicity of those two little letters; the way his eyes widened knowingly as he uttered it, acknowledging that he understood what she meant, that there was no need to say anything further, that she could _trust_ him to make it all better… well, it made her cry a bit harder.

But they were happy tears. And she hadn't lied. It didn't really hurt. Very much. In fact, as he slowly began to set his pace, his hips gently easing back and forth, softly pushing himself into her and then retreating, she found that it felt rather… _good_. _In fact…_ "Sasuke, I want… _more_."

"Hn, more, Sakura?" _Oh Kami, "hn" sounded pretty dang good when he said it like that, too._ He picked up the pace, and she rolled her hips upwards to meet his, beginning to pant from the intensity of the pleasure building up inside her. Leaning over, Sasuke's lips met her own, and she moaned into him as he hit a particularly interesting spot deep within her. "You're _so_ fucking tight," he whispered against her lips, his voice low, rough, and ragged as his hips continued their dance. "I can't _stand_ it… much longer..."

Sakura wasn't sure she could either. Her fingers gripped into his back as he stepped up the pace another notch, and she found her tongue suddenly begging for entrance into Sasuke's heated mouth. French kissing had never done a thing for her - the one time she'd tried it with Kiba, it had basically ended the relationship - but with Sasuke, it was different; all warm sensuality and soft intimacy. Too soon, however, his lips broke away from hers, and he placed a searing kiss on her forehead, shutting his eyes in a what appeared to be almost painful pleasure. "Sakura, _touch_ yourself."

 _What? Why did he want… that?_ His dark eyes opened, meeting hers, the intensity of his gaze laser focused. "Sakura." His breath was rather labored as he continued thrusting, "I want you to come… but I can't hold on for much longer. Touch yourself. _Please_."

 _Please_. Biting her lip, Sakura trailed her right hand down to where they were joined, fingers finding her clit and beginning to trace little circles that soon had her bucking in pleasure beneath him. _Beneath Sasuke..._ her _Sasuke… and it was so good. So so good. Too good…_

Suddenly, he let out a broken cry, her name on his lips, and he began to thrust even harder than before, all sense of control gone, the ecstasy of his orgasm etched into his face. With a shriek that she was rather afraid would wake the neighbors, Sakura followed him over the precipice moments later, and then it was all over, a tangle of overheated limbs, passionate lips, sweaty sheets, and sweet nothings ushering in their postcoital bliss.

They lay in the dark for some time after before drifting off, naked under the covers, Sasuke's left arm draped gently over her hip, his warm chest pressed comfortingly up against her back. Feeling sleep begin to cloud her senses, Sakura let out a contented sigh. _It was hard to say what tomorrow would bring, but one thing was certain… she owed Ino one hell of a thank you note._


	2. Sasuke's Shopping Spree

_[AN: Well, I couldn't leave well enough alone, had too much fun with the first chapter, and received some lovely feedback (thank you, kindly!), so I've decided to keep this story going for a bit. Hopefully, you'll like the direction I took... I didn't have a plan to keep on chugging when I wrote the first chapter, but this was logically where I ended up when I thought about continuing. Comments, follows, and favorites are appreciated! Please note that this content is rated M and that I do not own Naruto.]_

Sasuke awoke slowly to the light of the early morning sun streaming into the bedroom through pale, gauzy curtains. The bed was too soft to be his own, but, then again, this wasn't exactly the first time he'd woken up in someone else's room. He was lying on his back, the covers pushed down around his waist, and his body felt… _tired_. Although, lately, it pretty much always did. Eager to prove himself to his father, his brother, his clan, and Namikaze Minato _(yes, in that order)_ , he'd run himself ragged ever since his appointment to the elite ranks of ANBU two-plus years ago, taking any mission he was offered, no matter how dangerous, how long, or how packed it made his schedule. So this was nothing new. _But, Kami, did he have one hell of a headache._

Not yet summoning the will to open his eyes more than a crack, he ran his right hand over his face, trying to clear away some of the fogginess. He was having a surprisingly difficult time rousing himself, and he less than appreciated the sensation. _Hn, let's see… yesterday. He'd been on another ANBU mission, solo scouting that he could usually do in his sleep. But he'd run into some unexpected trouble on the border of Fire Country… a rogue Oto nin with S-class Kenjutsu skills. Something Fujio; he vaguely remembered his face and abilities from from the Bingo Book. Caught off-guard, he'd quickly been wounded - stabbed in the bicep, knocked to the ground - but had eventually managed to kill the fucker and get away. And then? Too injured to continue on, he'd returned to the village… to Sakura's apartment…_

He shut his eyes fully, willing himself to remember what had happened next. _He'd gotten blood all over her sofa... the new one she'd bought just last year. And he'd felt rather_ bad _about that, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do by the time he noticed. And then Sakura herself had shown up, kind of drunk, in a bathrobe. She'd looked pretty cute, actually. Her cheeks had matched her hair and her eyes… well, they'd kind of lit up when she realized it was him, all green and glowing and lovely. But, of course, he didn't say any of that. She couldn't know how he_ really _felt about her. At least, not yet. And she'd healed him, just like she always did - she really was too damn nice - and insisted that he get some sleep. And then…_

 _He'd ended up in her bedroom. And that was where things got kind of…_ odd. Because his mind was telling him that he'd settled himself onto her bed and promptly discovered a vibrator on her bedside table. Which, obviously, _shouldn't_ have been any of his business. After all, she was a full-grown woman and was certainly entitled to own and use a sex toy in the privacy of her own bedroom if she so chose. But, of course, this being _Sakura_ , he couldn't leave well enough alone. So, throwing caution to the winds, he'd more-or-less confronted her about it, _asked_ her to use it in front of him, and been informed that she'd gotten it just that day from Yamanaka Ino, had yet to actually use it, and was a virgin to boot. And then, he'd apparently proceeded to rectify _that_ little conundrum by fucking her soundly. _But that couldn't be right, could it? He'd desired Sakura for a good few years now, but, certainly, it hadn't come to_ that _?_

As he'd made crystal clear to Naruto in a hushed yet heated conversation over ramen just a few weeks ago after _years_ of the dobe trying to set them up, their former teammate was utterly off limits for him right now, his own annoyingly persistent wish that it could be otherwise aside. For ANBU Black Ops could have fuckbuddies, whores, and one night stands, but not so much girlfriends, fiances, and wives. It wasn't a hard-and-fast _rule_ per se, but it simply wasn't done... something about how relationships were well known to get in the way, subverting that kill-or-be-killed instinct that was so central to the role. Besides, on a more poignant note, it seemed positively unfair to the poor partner stuck behind in the village. Thanks to the secrecy demanded of ANBU operatives, Sakura would have no way of knowing where he'd gone, whom he might be seducing _(for, yes, seduction missions were very much a thing in ANBU, and men were by no means exempt)_ , what sort of physical/emotional scars he'd be left with, and, most soberingly, when he'd return, if he'd even return at all.

Haruno Sakura was many things, but she definitely wasn't fuckbuddy material. No, she was the type of girl to wine and dine, to gradually woo into his bed with kisses and sweet nothings, to bring home to his parents as his future _wife_. And so, despite his feelings, he'd resolved not to touch her, denying himself repeatedly to ensure that he never came close to even having the opportunity. Skipping out on parties he knew she'd be attending for fear of what he'd do with enough alcohol in his system. Making sure they never ate alone to avoid even the slightest whisper of the dreaded D-word. Stifling his jealousy those spiteful two weeks three-and-a-bit years ago when Inuzuka Kiba had decided that it would be just dandy to ask her out. For Sasuke couldn't have her… not until he'd proven himself once and for all, when ANBU was over and done with and he was finally able to settle down, get serious, and marry the kunoichi of his dreams. _And have a brood of little Uchihas, Sakura willing, because he'd always rather liked the thought of children._

So what he was doing in her apartment, in her room, in her bed, naked, with her next to him, also naked, was really beyond his current comprehension. And there was nothing else for it. He needed to get out of there. STAT.

Employing every ounce of stealth he'd gained through his years of shinobi training, Sasuke unfurled the sheets from his body, grimacing slightly as the sensation of the too-cool air on his morning wood. Ever so gently, he lifted the pale, slender arm splayed across his chest, praying to Kami that she wouldn't wake, and placed it around the pillow his head was vacating. Mission almost accomplished, he slipped off of the mattress, bare feet hitting the grey carpeting of her bedroom. _Now, where had his clothing run off to?_

Dropping to his knees, he quickly located his boxer briefs and pants underneath her queen-sized bed. It appeared that he'd been in quite the rush last night, for the legs were rather annoyingly tangled on themselves. Straightening them out and pulling them on, he stood and scanned the room for his black shirt and ANBU vest. After a rather stressful two minutes that included Sakura yawning and stretching - _if she woke up, he was a dead man_ \- he picked up the high-necked shirt from beside the nightstand next to her side of the bed, scowled at the pink vibrator sitting next to the lamp for starting this whole train wreck (and promptly felt rather foolish for feeling such hatred towards an inanimate object in the first place), and declared his vest missing in action. He'd hoped to leave without a trace - _maybe she'd think she dreamed it all?_ \- but it seemed that he wasn't to have that luxury.

As he stood in the open doorway, looking back at the sleeping kunoichi, Sasuke couldn't help but feel a surge of regret. _Gods, she was lovely... that pink hair he'd always found so breathtakingly exotic splayed across the pillow, the full lips that had so lovingly kissed him last night slightly parted, the slender, supple body that had held him close half-visible through the white bedsheet._ He was a fool for leaving.

 _But he'd be an even bigger fool if he stayed._

* * *

Stepping outside of Sakura's apartment building, Sasuke blinked several times in quick succession as his eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight. Fortunately, it being early on a Sunday, the streets were quiet, and he could travel unhindered by prying eyes, curious to see where exactly _the_ Uchiha Sasuke had spent his night. Now, the only question was where to go. For he was feeling decidedly uncomfortable about this whole affair and could really use a sympathetic ear.

His first thought was Naruto. While the blonde was virtually his polar opposite - loud, obnoxious, hyperactive, and annoyingly enthusiastic about positively everything - he was also his most trusted friend. And he knew Sakura exceedingly well, given their whole Team 7 history. _Hn, perhaps, with a bit of coaxing, he could be convinced to intercede on his behalf and smooth the whole thing with the kunoichi over? Not fucking likely._ They shared little in common, but one definite point of overlap was their lack of facility with words. While _he_ preferred to avoid them entirely, Naruto had the opposite issue - saying too much - which often led to him sticking his foot in his mouth. Thus, he could unfortunately _not_ be trusted with a mission of such delicacy. _Besides, the idea of running and hiding behind the dobe was rather distasteful. And the nosy little asshole would want details._ And Sasuke didn't want _anyone_ to know the details. What had transpired between he and Sakura last night shouldn't have happened - at least not for a good few years - but it was definitely _private_ business.

So, Naruto was out. Which left Kakashi, Itachi, and his mother as options. But he wasn't seven, so there was no way in hell that he was running to his mother. Besides, it occurred to him that Mikoto might very well side with Sakura. She'd always liked the girl, even when she'd been thirteen and clingy as all get out, and had lately begun to drop sweat drop-inducing hints about wanting grandchildren. Which he intended to provide, of course - no one could ever accuse him of _not_ being a dutiful son, particularly when his mother was involved - but all in due course. As for Kakashi, well, the man had his moments as a mentor, but he'd always been pretty shoddy when it came to practical advice, and Sasuke rather suspected that any relationship input he'd proffer would be lifted directly from the pages of his beloved _Icha Icha_. Moreover, he was Sakura's old sensei too, which represented quite the potential conflict of interest.

Which meant that he was headed home. To Itachi. To his practically perfect elder brother because he'd fucked up... again and, as always, needed him to fix things.

Crossing through the Uchiha district gates, Sasuke wound his familiar way to his parents' house, his mind racing with heady memories of last night. _Her eager body, naked and under him… her sweet little gasps and moans as she bucked into his mouth, all restraint forgotten… the overwhelming feeling of filling her inch by inch, making her_ his _._ Now, Sakura hadn't exactly been his first. Far from it, if the truth be told. He wasn't _proud_ of that fact, but, in his defense, ANBU wasn't exactly a low-stress operation, and casual sex had become a bit of an outlet for his pent-up frustrations, anxieties, and insecurities as he'd ratcheted up his mission totals and number of kills over the past twenty-nine months. That being said, last night had been different; strangely intimate and infinitely fulfilling. With her, he'd felt a connection, a strange sense of belonging that had been missing from his previous trysts. It had been good, _really_ good… _and, Kami, did he want it again. All of it. But that was_ dangerous _thinking..._

Reaching his family's compound, Sasuke ducked around the back, heading for the small area that Itachi had long ago set up for off-hours training. Judging from the sun, it was still frightfully early, but his nii-san had always been a bit of a madman when it came to honing his shinobi craft, as well as a scarily early riser. Indeed, as he drew close to the clearing, Sasuke could hear the telltale _thunk_ as kunai after kunai were embedded into the targets spread around the range. From the precise sounds alone, he could easily identify Itachi. For no one in Konoha was as accomplished at _Shurikenjutsu_ as he and Itachi. No one…

 _Except Shisui. Fuck. It_ was _Shisui._

As Sasuke entered his radius, the older Uchiha looked up, his round face contorting into a teasing smile as his eyes faded from red to black. "Why, if it isn't little Sasuke-kun!" Despite the fact that Sasuke hadn't been in any way "little" in about a decade - these days, he had a good inch on Shisui when he stood up straight, and he'd inherited his father's slightly broader build - the man still got a serious kick out of treating him like he was twelve. And it rankled Sasuke to no end. Which was why he did it, of course.

"Hn." _Gods, he didn't have time for this._ He needed to sort out this whole… _situation_ fast. The morning was ticking right on by, and, if Sakura came after him before he had a proper game plan in place, well, things were liable to get _awkward_. "Where's Itachi?"

"Not even a hello for your _favorite_ cousin, Sasuke-kun?" Shisui asked, face falling into a completely absurd, fake pout. "Lot's on your mind this morning, hm?"

"Ah."

"Care to talk about it?"

"Not with you."

"Rude." A coy smirk crossed Shisui's face. "You _know_ , Sasuke-kun, Mikoto-obasan isn't going to be very happy when she hears that you've been disrespecting your elders again…"

 _Tch, a low blow. Of course the clever bastard_ would _dare to bring his mother into it._ "Where's Itachi?" He repeated, ignoring the threat. It was probably empty anyway, and if it wasn't, well, he just had to make sure he got to her first. _And_ he _lived there, unlike Shisui, so, advantage Sasuke._

"Persistent, aren't we?" Shisui chuckled good-naturedly, shaking his dark, curly hair off of his forehead. "Sorry to disappoint, but Itachi's on a solo mission."

"Hn." _That was bad. Very bad indeed._ "When's he going to be back?"

Shisui shrugged. "A week? Maybe two? It's ANBU related."

Sasuke shut his eyes, running his left hand over his face in exasperation. _Well then, he was back to the old drawing board. Unless…_

"Shisui… can I speak with you about something… _sensitive?_ " It wasn't exactly _ideal._ His cousin had a rather devilish sense of humor and had always delighted at any excuse to torture him in that stereotypical nii-san's-best-friend fashion. Then again, Sasuke also respected Shisui - despite his jocular personality, he was an exceedingly talented shinobi, on par with Itachi himself - and knew that he understood the whole ANBU drill quite well as a fellow operative. _And_ it wasn't like he had a lot of other options. _So, yes, given that Itachi was indisposed, Shisui would do. He had to._

The older man's hands came to his heart in mock delight. "Why Sasuke-kun, I'd be _honored_."

Pulling a kunai out of the bulls-eye of the nearest target, Sasuke casually began twirling it between his right thumb and index finger in a futile attempt to calm the nervous tightening in his throat. _Where to begin… where to begin._ While he'd planned to tell Itachi what had happened, he hadn't gotten as far as figuring out _how_ he'd tell him, and, now that he was confiding in Shisui instead of his brother, the situation was even trickier. For his cousin, with his dashing Uchiha looks and un-Uchiha-like sense of humor, had a bit a reputation as a ladies' man himself. Which made it exceedingly likely that Shisui might struggle to grasp the whole "I love her, I just can't have her yet" issue at the heart of his whole Sakura headache. In fact, knowing Shisui like he did, Sasuke wouldn't be surprised if he just advised him to "get it while the getting's good." And, having gotten some once, he _definitely_ didn't need anyone to tell him that. His _other_ head was already very much in favor of that idea.

So, it was critical that he handle this situation delicately. That he explain himself with the utmost care, laying out all that had transpired in a way that still respected Sakura's privacy, while at the same time emphasizing the difficulties that his current position and need to prove himself imposed.

But he'd never been one with words. And so, despite his best intentions and his grand plans, to his utter horror, Sasuke suddenly tossed the kunai across the clearing, nailing a target seventy-five feet away ( _a perfect bulls-eye_ , the part of his mind that was forever keeping track of these things noted with some pleasure); glared fixedly at the man across from him; and declared, in a voice that was far too loud for such a sensitive subject, "I fucked Sakura."

Needless to say, Shisui's reaction was not exactly what he'd hoped for. Releasing a little chuckle, the man's dark eyes sparkled with mirth. "Well now, _little_ _cousin._ I know you said you had serious business to discuss, but, I have to admit, I wasn't expecting _that_. How was she?"

Sasuke scowled, lips pulling back from his teeth in a rather feral snarl. "That's _none_ of your business."

"Ah, but I thought you _wanted_ to talk about it, Sasuke-kun?" Shisui retorted innocently, the bright smile on his face unaffected by Sasuke's death glare. "I'm afraid I fail to see why you're even bringing it up in the first place if you _don't_ want to share the juicy details. And I _am_ rather interested in said details, by the way. Sakura-chan has developed into one exceedingly fine kunoichi, and I can't say that I myself haven't been somewhat tempted. Really, a _superb_ choice. I salute you."

 _No, no, this_ definitely _wasn't going the way he wanted._ And he certainly didn't want to hear about whatever designs his flirt of cousin had on his former teammate. Sakura was _his_ , after all. _Or, more accurately, she was going to be in a few years._ Willing himself not to explode in a heated display of Sharingan, fire, and lightning, Sasuke took a deep breath, running his right hand through his bedhead. "The thing is, I can't give her what she wants. At least, not right now. Not while I'm in ANBU. I _can't_ have her right now. This wasn't _supposed_ to happen right now." _Oh gods, he'd started off well enough, but now he was babbling like some sort of hormonal teenager. To Shisui. How had it come to this?_

Shisui cocked an eyebrow, and Sasuke was exceedingly relieved to see the bemusement retreating from his face. For once, it appeared that his older cousin might _actually_ take him seriously. "I… see," the man began slowly. "Tell me if I'm interpreting this situation correctly. Your overwhelming need to measure up to your golden boy of an elder brother in your father's eyes means that you're currently more interested in doing your best to destroy yourself through ANBU than in having a meaningful, significant relationship with the woman you've lusted after since you hit puberty. What's more, it's a relationship that your mother is basically _dying_ for you to have, as evidenced by all the Team 7 dinners she's been volunteering your family to host for the better part of a decade and the less-than-subtle comments over the past two years about the best season for weddings and which baby names are particularly trendy right now. And, if that isn't enough for you, it's a relationship that I suspect Fugaku-ojisan himself - who is _infamously_ difficult to please, might I point out - won't exactly _mind_ given that chakra control is partially hereditary and Sakura's is basically as perfect as any kunoichi _or_ shinobi who's ever lived. Sasuke… you do realize… that this is totally crazy, _right_?"

"Tch." _Well, it sounded kind of unflattering when he put it like_ that _._ "You don't _get_ it, Shisui. I've been living in Itachi's shadow _forever_. I just want to..."

"Make a name for yourself? Show the clan who the _truly_ great Uchiha is? Somehow single-handedly save Konoha from destruction in a time of unprecedented peace?" Shisui finished for him. "Oh, I get it, Sasuke. I really do. It sounds to me like _you're_ the one who doesn't understand." He shrugged in feigned nonchalance. "But what do I know? I'm just good old _Shunshin no Shisui_ , after all. Legendary bachelor and shameless flirt."

Sasuke frowned at his cousin's benevolent face. _He was done with this conversation._ Why _had he thought that talking to Shisui was a good idea? Kakashi would have been better. Hell,_ Naruto _would have been better._ He prepared to leave the clearing, only to pause as Shisui's firm hand came to rest on his right shoulder. " _Look_ , Sasuke. I know that it isn't easy, being Itachi's little brother and Fugaku's second son. But, you need to think this one through. If not for yourself, for Sakura. Is your father's momentary recognition _really_ worth risking your future happiness?"

"Hn. It's not like I'm going to _lose_ Sakura over this, Shisui," Sasuke replied, feeling increasingly surly in the face of his cousin's far-too-astute psychoanalysis. "She'll wait. She's loved me since we were eight."

"Eight, eh? You do realize that she might not wait _forever_ , right? Women… they have certain _biological concerns_ , Sasuke. And Sakura… she's getting to the age where… well… she's going to want to see some sort of _commitment_." A subtle smirk spread took over his unusually serious expression. "Beyond a one-night stand, I mean."

 _How little Shisui understood. Sakura was so patient… well, except when it came to Naruto's antics. And Kakashi's penchant for lateness. And everyone in the shinobi world's tendencies to over-train and under-treat their injuries. But those were minor concerns. No, when it came to important crap, stuff like_ love _and_ marriage _and_ children… _she was as patient and loyal as they came. And he didn't_ mean _to take advantage of her constancy, but the fact of the matter remained that he needed to make a name for himself_ before _he moved on to the next phase of his life. And she understood that… he was certain she did._

Shisui seemed to sense that he was fighting a losing battle. Removing his hand from Sasuke's shoulder, his confident grin returned to his face, although this time, Sasuke noticed that the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "So, you wanted some brotherly advice on handling Sakura, then? _Lay low_. Let things blow over and give her space. After all, right now, it sounds like the last thing _you_ want is her thinking that you actually _care_ about her, am I right? And given your way with words, _talking_ to her is certainly out of the question."

"Ah." _Now, Shisui was speaking his language. As an assassination and infiltration specialist, he could_ definitely _lay low._

With that, Shisui turned back to his training, releasing another volley of shuriken at a target on the far side of the clearing. For a few minutes, Sasuke watched the older man practice, noting his impeccable form and consistency ( _although_ , he noticed with some latent fraternal pride, _Shisui missed one target, and Itachi_ never _missed_ ), as well as the unusually hard expression on his face. Yes, Shisui looked rather _frustrated_ at the moment… _hn, probably because of that missed bulls-eye._ Growing somewhat restless, Sasuke decided to join his cousin in a few rounds. Sakura wouldn't be happy to hear that he was training so soon after suffering a concussion, but he felt pretty good, all things considered. _And, besides, giving that he was going to be laying low for the time being, it wasn't like there was any way she'd find out._

They trained for an hour or so before heading inside his parents' house for breakfast. Slipping off his sandals, Sasuke entered the kitchen behind his cousin, nodding to his father, who was seated at the table, reading some rather official-looking paperwork. The man inclined his head slightly in response, halfway looking up. It wasn't the most emotive reaction to seeing his son for the first time in four days, but it was pretty much par for the course. His mother, on the other hand, was positively glowing as she flipped eggs on the stove. "Sasuke-kun, this is a surprise! I thought you weren't due back for at least another week!"

Settling into his usual seat on one side of the round kitchen table, Sasuke glanced over at his father rather anxiously. His mother's casual observation was decidedly unwelcome, particularly given the fact that Fugaku seemed to have picked up on it. Although, that wasn't exactly a surprise; as patriarch of the Uchiha clan, he rarely missed a beat. "Returning a week early from a mission, Sasuke. Did something... _happen_?"

 _Well, fuck._ His father was _not_ going to like hearing that his son had managed to get himself so injured that he'd been forced to abandon his post, even if he had single-handedly taken down a moderately talented rogue nin in the process. And his mother would worry, which was even worse, because she'd make a big fuss and _insist_ that he make an appointment to see Sakura because "really, Sasuke-kun, your health is _important_." Which usually would be fine. His healing sessions with Sakura were a bit of a guilty pleasure, actually, allowing him to get close to the kunoichi without letting slip that he actually _liked_ physical contact... with her, at least. But after last night and everything he and Shisui had just discussed, well, a cozy little one-on-one check-up was absolutely out of the question.

So, he did the only thing he could do. "It's ANBU related, kaa-san," he replied smoothly, trying to ignore the daggers almost literally shooting out of his father's eyes. Accustomed to the power and insider information that three decades of clan leadership granted, Fugaku _hated_ being left out of the loop, particularly when it came to his sons' activities, and had never fully adjusted to the fact that "ANBU related" meant that not even _he_ was permitted to know everything.

"Ah, well, I just hope you weren't _injured_ , Sasuke-kun," Mikoto commented rather nervously as she placed a plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and orange slices in front of her husband. "You _look_ all right, but you should probably schedule a post-mission appointment with Sakura-san in the next day or two, just as a precaution. Don't you agree, Shisui-kun?"

Across the table, Shisui suddenly snapped to attention, his eyes narrowing devilishly as they locked on Sasuke's. _Tch, he knew that look._ Sasuke glared back at his cousin, going so far as to momentarily activate his Sharingan in a nonverbal warning that he would absolutely _murder_ him if he dared so much as say a word about Sakura. But, of course, being the bastard he was, the man charged right on ahead. "Oh most certainly, obasan," he began lightly, grinning rather maliciously at Sasuke as he took the plate that Mikoto proffered him. "Fortunately, our little Sasuke-kun is _so conscientious_ when it comes to his health that he's already been by Sakura-chan's. He tells me he was there _late last night_ , actually."

 _His cousin was dead. Absolutely dead._ And given that shit-eating grin he was currently wearing, he knew it. "You got back _last night_ , Sasuke? I didn't hear you come in," his mother commented as she returned to the table with the last two plates, her dark eyebrows shooting up towards her hairline in surprise. Then, her cheeks flushed with what Sasuke was rather horrified to realize was pleasure. "Why, _Sasuke-kun_... you didn't _spend the night_ at Sakura's, did you?"

Shisui opened his mouth again, undoubtedly to say something even _more_ suggestive, but Sasuke had had enough. His ears turning red at the awareness that three sets of dark eyes were firmly latched on him, he violently stabbed one of the tomato slices on his plate, refusing to look up at any of his family members. "Hai, I stayed at _Sakura's_. I had a headache, and she wouldn't let me leave. _It's part of the Konoha General Hospital protocol for headaches,_ " he added sternly as Shisui snickered, his mother smirked in that far too canny way of hers, and his father's attention returned to his paperwork with some disparaging remark, not quite under his breath enough to be missed, about "headaches being for the feeble minded."

Needless to say, Sasuke was _exceedingly_ pleased to bid farewell to Shisui following the conclusion of the meal.

* * *

And so, Sasuke commenced operation "Lay Low," rather furtively taking to the streets of Konoha a few hours after breakfast, his chakra signature suppressed and his body on high alert for any signs of pink hair and/or emerald-green eyes. Walking around with his Sharingan activated in the middle of the day on a Sunday earned him some funny/freaked-out looks (depending on whether the passerby was shinobi or civilian), but desperate times called for desperate measures. In truth, he hadn't really wanted to go out at all, but, per ANBU protocol, he was required to report to the Hokage within twenty-four hours of returning to the village post-mission, and he _certainly_ wasn't about to violate any Black Ops rules.

As he arrived at the door to the Yondaime's office, he nodded in greeting to Shikamaru, who was leaning against the wall, clutching a clipboard to his chest, and looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. "Hokage-sama will see you in a minute," he commented shortly.

"Hn." With that vague acknowledgment, they stood in silence, each man doing his best not to look at the other. They got along well enough but had never been particularly close, and, thanks to the combination of his hectic mission schedule and his desire to avoid all social events at which Sakura might possibly be in attendance, it had been months since they'd actually had anything even halfway resembling a conversation. As they waited, it suddenly occurred to Sasuke that he'd heard something from both Sakura and his mother about his current companion's recent engagement to Yamanaka Ino, but congratulating him on it just seemed… _unnecessary_.

The loud _bang_ of the door suddenly swinging open caused Sasuke to tense and Shikamaru to mutter something under his breath about "troublesome baka." Eyes flitting immediately to the opening, Sasuke found himself face to face with a scowling Naruto, the blonde's arms crossed in exasperation over his burly chest. "Dobe," he acknowledged coolly, a small smirk of pleasure at seeing the man after a good week apart playing across his lips despite himself.

"Sasuke-teme!" Naruto rushed towards Sasuke to pull him in for a "manly" hug around the neck, but he sidestepped quickly, his well-honed reflexes making him too quick for his friend. "I was _hoping_ you'd get back early from wherever the hell tou-chan sent you! Once you've finished reporting in, we should grab raaaamen and catch up!"

"Hn," he replied noncommittally, wishing he could dial Naruto down a few decibels. Lunch at Ichiraku's _definitely_ wouldn't fall under the category of laying low, but he already knew that his hands were tied. After all, Naruto was usually exceedingly enthusiastic about hanging out with him and about ramen. To be frank, Sasuke had never understood why _either_ point was anything to get particularly worked up about but, he'd long ago learned that it was pointless to argue.

Naruto took Sasuke's place next to Shikamaru, and the Nara rolled his eyes, the ennui rolling off of him in waves. "I'll wait out here with Shika. Now hurry up; I'm starving!"

With that, Sasuke swept past the blonde and into Minato's office, configuring his face into a proud, even expression befitting his rank as an ANBU operative and station as a member of the head family of the Uchiha Clan. The Yondaime had never been much for formalities, but Sasuke had learned from Itachi, and his brother's style was decidedly traditional. Crossing to the center of the round room, Sasuke took his expected place before Minato's desk, nodding his head slightly in a respectful acknowledgment. "Hokage-sama."

"Ah, Sasuke-san!" Minato looked up from the scroll he was perusing with a sunny smile. "You're back rather… early? I hadn't expected to see you for another week at least. Something of interest to report from the border, I presume?"

Sasuke suppressed the frown that was threatening to creep over his face at the awareness that he technically hadn't fulfilled his assigned mission. He knew that Minato would never fault him for it. After all, the Hokage was an exceedingly benevolent man, and the mission he'd been on had been very routine, the fact that it was solo the only thing making it worthy of ANBU. That being said, it was irritating on a personal level to know that he hadn't met expectations. _And if it ever got out to his father, there would be hell to pay._ _Well, hopefully the news of the rogue Oto nin's death would be suitably impressive to make up for his failure._ "Hai, Hokage-sama. I encountered Kikuchi Fujio on the border of Sound yesterday, slightly after sunset."

At that, Minato sat up a little straighter in his chair, and he tapped his index fingers together in thought. "Ah yes, the rogue _Kenjutsu_ user. I assume you managed?"

"Hai, he's been taken care of, Hokage-sama," Sasuke replied rather darkly, noticing the way that the man's bright blue eyes were carefully scanning his body, likely checking him for any signs of weakness or injury. "I _did_ require… _treatment_ , which, unfortunately, required me to abandon my post."

"Ah, yes, you stopped by Sakura-chan's, I assume? She's really turned into an asset for Konoha." Minato smiled fondly, and Sasuke swallowed hard. Why _did everyone feel a need to comment on Sakura's development in his presence?_ "You know, back during your team's genin days, I'd been a bit concerned about her, but Tsunade's done an excellent job with helping her reach her full potential."

Sasuke cleared his throat in a vague agreement, fighting the warmth that was threatening to creep over his features as his traitorous mind chose that moment to cycle through a few of the juicier images from last night, reminding him in a rather _different_ way just how much she'd grown. _For_ blushing _in the Hokage's office would be decidedly un-Uchiha-like and definitely_ not _in the purview of "laying low."_ To his great relief, however, the Yondaime promptly turned back to business. "Well, I haven't received her write-up regarding your injuries yet, but I'm sure I will in due course. Speaking of which… I'll expect a full report of your own encounter with Kikuchi by Wednesday."

Sasuke nodded his assent, and Minato dismissed him with a friendly wave and a cordial request to send his parents his best wishes. Then, returning to the hallway, he found Naruto in the midst of peppering Shikamaru with question after question about how exactly the Nara had popped _the question_ to Ino. The man was being even cagier than usual, and the back of his neck had turned a rather telling shade of pink, suggesting that the scenario had not been entirely Hokage's Office friendly. But, of course, Naruto, never the most observant shinobi in Konoha, seemed to have utterly no idea _what_ exactly he was asking his companion to rehash. It was all vaguely amusing, and Sasuke found himself making a mental note to keep the context PG when he got around to proposing to Sakura. Not that he needed to worry about anything like _that_ anytime soon, of course.

Deciding to be considerate (for _yes_ , he could be nice when he tried), Sasuke rescued Shikamaru from his squirming with a casual "shut up, _dobe_ " in the blonde's direction. And so, with a cheery "see ya, Shika!" from Naruto and a curt nod on his own part, they set off back down the hall and out of the Hokage's compound for lunch, Sasuke carefully keeping his eyes peeled for any and all signs of their female former teammate.

As it happened, luck was on the Uchiha's side. They made it to and through lunch at Ichiraku's undisturbed by the pink-haired assailant that Sasuke was steadily growing to dread encountering. And then, they were standing up and pushing in their stools, and he'd done it, he could go home now and lay low properly, just as Shisui had so wisely advised, until he was cleared in a week for another mission, and he could feel the relief washing over him, and, _gods_ , was it good…

And then Naruto dropped a fucking bomb on him, utterly _ruining_ his afternoon, the rest of the day, and very likely the coming week. "Oy, _teme_ , I almost forgot! Today, we need to go buy birthday presents for Sakura-chan! You probably already know this, but she's turning the big two-five next weekend, and Ino's throwing her a huge party next Saturday at the Twisted Kunai. Since you're still gonna be grounded, you'll be able to come! Isn't that _great_ , Sasuke? It's been sooo long since you've been at any of our parties! The rest of the crew really misses you. Well, they didn't really _say_ that, but I _know_ it's true. It's just not the same without our very own broody Uchiha around, believe it! Shisui and Itachi've got nothing on you. But Sakura-chan's going to be _so_ thrilled! _Teme?_ Did you hear me? _Teme?_ "

Sasuke froze in the middle of the bustling street, willing himself not to take to the rooftops and hightail it back to the Uchiha district. _No it was_ not great, _Naruto_. _In fact, it was terrible. Just terrible._ But, of course, Sasuke couldn't _say_ that. So, his throat so tight that he was somewhat surprised he hadn't passed out entirely from lack of oxygen, his palms sweaty with stress, and the headache that he'd had when he'd woken up that morning suddenly raring back in full force, he replied with the only thing he could think of to say.

"Hn. I'm _not_ going."

At his admission, Naruto's jaw fell open in shock, and Sasuke's eyes darted around the area, panic growing as he realized that the blonde-haired idiot was about to make a scene. "But, _teme_! This is _Sakura-chan's_ birthday we're talking about! I know you don't like parties, but you _love_ Sakura-chan!"

" _Shut up,_ _dobe_!" Sasuke hissed back, roughly grabbing the man's arm as white-hot rage coursed through his veins at the realization that Naruto had just blurted out his deepest, darkest secret to the street at large. Moving rapidly through the crowds, his body on red alert for any sign or sensation of Sakura's pink hair and usually soothing chakra signature, the Uchiha ducked into a little side alley, pulling the sputtering Naruto after him. "Sakura and I… we're going through some _shit_ right now, okay?" He whispered heatedly, praying to Kami that no one he knew had heard the blonde's outburst. "I _can't_ go to her fucking birthday party next weekend. And _me_ getting her a birthday present is sure as hell out of the question."

Wrenching his arm out of Sasuke's grip, Naruto glared back fiercely, blue eyes blazing in a bold defiance of the activated Sharingan before him. " _Teme_ , what did you _do_?"

"Nothing," Sasuke lied, his eyes shifting away from Naruto's inquisitive stare to rest on the dirt at their feet. _He couldn't tell Naruto. The blonde would tell_ everyone _. Probably shout it from the Hokage's tower given what had just transpired._ "I… we… we had se… we had a serious _disagreement_. It was stupid. Totally unimportant. About… training." _Yes, that made sense. Sakura was always on his case about training too hard. Gods, that had been close._

"Sure, Sasuke, okay. Well, if you did _nothing_ then, I don't see why you can't buy her a present and show up for her birthday next Saturday. I know you _like_ Sakura." The light in his blue eyes suddenly shifted from anger to a rather disgusting warmth, and Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his own eyes in response to the sheer gooeyness. "Even if you can't _be_ with her right now, don't you at least think you shouldn't _offend_ her? Sakura-chan's really nice and all, but if she knows you're in the village on her birthday and you don't show up, well, she's really not going to like _that_ …"

"Tch." Naruto kind of had a point there, actually. Sasuke was fairly confident that he could avoid Sakura during the week. It wasn't like he usually saw her _all_ that often anyway, and it wouldn't be completely out of the norm to see a different medic for whatever follow-up his concussion would require. But skipping out on her birthday when she knew full well that he was available (he wasn't exactly a social butterfly, after all) would be perceived as an exceedingly low blow. In fact, it might very well _lead_ to blows. _And Sakura's blows, well, those were best avoided._

Sasuke sighed, massaging his pulsing forehead with his right hand. He wasn't about to go so far as telling Naruto that he was right - the _dobe_ could never have that satisfaction, as far as he was concerned - but he was willing to concede a subtle, temporary defeat. "Fine. Let's go shopping."

At that, the blonde let out a cheer, darting back onto the main street, and Sasuke followed behind at a more sedate pace, his hands tucked into the pockets of his black pants and his face set in a surly, "keep away from me" scowl (it worked like a charm for avoiding small talk). To his great surprise, it seemed that Naruto actually had a plan for once, for his friend led him straight to the Konoha bookstore. "There's this new medical textbook out that I'm gonna get her. Sakura was going on and on about it at lunch last Wednesday, so I figured I might as well take the hint. It seems really boring, especially for a birthday gift, if you ask _me_ , but Sakura'll probably like it better than another gift certificate to Ichiraku's, don't you think?"

"Ah," Sasuke agreed, rather impressed by the thoughtfulness on display as he eyed the thick tome that the blonde was awkwardly clutching. _Yes, the dobe was getting positively resourceful in his old age._ Which meant, of course, that the pressure was on. Because there was no way in hell that he could let _Naruto_ beat him at getting Sakura a birthday gift. _Now… what did Sakura like? Besides medical-ninja textbooks, that was. For he couldn't_ copy _Naruto… he'd_ never _live that down..._

As Sasuke stood by the front door of the little store, waiting for Naruto to pay up, his mind set about attempting to answer that head scratcher of a question. The obvious answer ( _being a bit of an arrogant ass_ ) was himself, but _that_ was wildly inappropriate, particularly in light of what had transpired last night. _Hn… so difficult. Maybe it would be best to start with what_ he _liked and work backwards?_ He could get her some kunai, perhaps. Or new gloves since taijutsu was more her thing. A vision of Sakura opening a little box containing black leather gloves with the Uchiha fan embossed on the cuffs floated through his head. _She'd look pretty cute wearing them, actually... but b_ _ad idea._ And kunai seemed so, well, _boring_. That was the sort of thing you got a shinobi you barely knew, and he knew Sakura _exceedingly_ well...

No, the more he thought about it, gear just didn't seem like Sakura's _style_. Sure, she worked hard - harder than almost anyone he knew, in some ways - but much of the work she did these days was at the hospital. Which meant that a gift intended for sparring could too easily be misinterpreted, like he was trying to make a statement about her _needing_ to spar more or something. _And_ given that he treated her like she was useless during their genin days _(boy, had things changed)_ that was definitely _not_ a message he wanted to send. So shinobi supplies were out, in addition to med-nin paraphernalia. And he sure as hell wasn't going to get her liquor, because she already drank more than he thought she should thanks to the Hospital Director's damn influence.

As Naruto sidled up to him, clutching a brown paper bag containing his purchase, a thought occurred to the Uchiha, one that he was rather surprised hadn't crossed his mind before. _Naruto had a fiance. Hinata. And she was a kunoichi. Like Sakura. Surely, given that Naruto had dated Hinata for several years,_ he _might have some idea of what to get the woman you liked_. Admittedly, his situation was slightly more _complex_ than Naruto's. After all, the message _his_ gift was supposed to send wasn't "I _love_ you, and I'm so thrilled I'm marrying you" but rather "I _love_ you and I'm planning on doing something about it, I swear, but in a couple of years or so because I've got some serious shit to sort out right now." But still, there were definitely parallels.

Now, Sasuke had never _liked_ asking for advice, but he was sore out of ideas and feeling a bit out of his element after all that had transpired over the past twenty-four hours. With a small sigh, he turned to his friend as they headed back out into the sunny street, expression serious. " _Dobe_."

" _Teme_?"

"What should I get Sakura?" Naruto's eyes went wide, and Sasuke frowned, disliking the concept that the blonde might be in any way questioning his competency. _He was perfectly_ capable _of coming up for a gift for Sakura. He was… delegating._ "If you were getting a gift for Hinata, say…"

Naruto's face split into a broad grin, and he threw a rather unwelcome arm around Sasuke's left shoulder, causing the Uchiha to flinch slightly. "Aw, _teme_ , you need _help_ , huh? Not to worry, I've got you covered, believe it!"

"Hn. Just answer the question." _He did_ not _need "help." He just wanted some back-up. Those were_ totally _different things._

"Well, jewelry's always a good choice."

"Jewelry…"

"Yeah! You know, like necklaces and stuff like that. Woman love that crap. Or, Hinata does, at least. And Sakura-chan probably would too! She used to be really girly when we were genin... it's gotta still be in there somewhere, right?"

"Ah. Like a ring."

"Uh, well, I don't know if I'd go with a _ring_ , Sasuke," Naruto quickly interjected, scratching the back of his head. "That can have a lot of… _significance,_ you know."

 _Excellent point. Maybe he'd been wrong about Naruto being a complete idiot._ "A necklace then."

Sasuke glanced up and down the street, not really sure _how_ to proceed and checking, for what had to be the fiftieth time since he'd left the Uchiha district, that the coast remained clear of pink and green. He'd never been much of a shopper - the last time he'd been out and about like this, he'd still been a teenager accompanied by his mother - and he'd _certainly_ never set foot in a jewelry store. The prospect was a bit intimidating, actually, not that he'd ever fess up to _that_. Fortunately, Naruto, to his credit, seemed to sense his trepidation. "The place I got Hinata's ring is right over there," the blonde cried, far too enthusiastically, pointing to a gold-colored awning back in the direction they'd come. "They're super nice, _teme_. They were even able to help a completely lovesick idiot like me. I definitely recommend them."

"Hn." Sasuke allowed himself to be escorted up the road and through the door, his eyes quickly adjusting to the comparatively dim lights of the shop. The decor was dark, sleek, and minimal, keeping the shopper's attention firmly on the merchandise in the glass cases on the perimeter. His heart quickening slightly from some vague nervousness he couldn't entirely identify, Sasuke scanned the necklaces, rings, bracelets, and earrings on display. There were _a lot_ of options, and he found himself far too quickly growing overwhelmed. That was, until he spotted _it_. Right at the end of the first case in the store rested a rather petite emerald pendant, surrounded by a halo of tiny diamonds. He blinked, and the memory of Sakura's bright green eyes, shining happily up at him, drifted through his mind, warming his insides.

 _Perfect_.


	3. Ino's Discovery

_[AN: Thank you ever so much for all the favorites, follows, and comments! This story has turned in to a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine to write (good thing too because full-time job + random freelancing project = week of mental exhaustion). I'm so glad it's been entertaining to read as well! A_ _s usual, please note that this content is rated M, and that I do not own Naruto.]_

Ino awoke with a start to the buzzing of her alarm clock. Sticking a sacrificial arm out from under the warmth of the covers, she hit the snooze button and rolled from her side onto her back, savoring the delicious feeling of the rays of the mid-morning sunlight streaming through her window and the knowledge that it was Sunday. As her mind slowly began to rouse itself from its slightly hungover state, she stretched like a cat, blonde lashes fluttering open to greet the day.

Through no fault of her own, the king-sized bed that she shared with Shika-kun was currently all hers. Her fiance had been working under the Yondaime as an assistant for a good three plus years now, but turnover in those types of positions wasn't particularly high. This meant that he was still one of the newest hires and, as a result, got assigned the _worst_ hours, often being called into the office on Saturdays and Sundays. He low-key bitched about it every weekend in typical Nara fashion, but it was good for him: She was convinced that he was happiest when he had something to complain about _(probably why their relationship worked so well)._ It worked out well for her too, if the truth be told. For, while she loved Shikamaru dearly, they could both use some space every once in awhile. And, most importantly, _nothing_ , not even the prospect Sunday morning sex with her super-hot, brand-new fiance, could _ever_ come between her and brunch with "the girls," as she fondly liked to call her fellow kunoichi of the Konoha 12 cohort.

The tradition had started somewhat spontaneously soon after the youngest of the crew, Hinata, had turned eighteen. Ino and Sakura had met up for a late breakfast one Sunday morning at an American-style diner they'd been meaning to try and had ended up in line right behind the Hyuuga girl and Tenten. So, they'd started talking, and there was a _lot_ to talk about given the antics of their decidedly eccentric cast of male teammates, not to mention their assorted sensei. By the time they'd gotten to the front of the line, they'd unanimously decided to turn their two tables of two into a shared table of four. Then, after a few too many mimosas and highlights that included a rather side stitch-inducing tale from Tenten about team bonding gone horrifically wrong courtesy of the indefatigable Guy, they'd agreed to do it again the next weekend. And, lo and behold, a sacred ritual was born.

 _They were a pretty kickass group of women,_ Ino found herself thinking fondly as she finally summoned the will to get up and sort out her outfit _(nothing too fancy, sweet and feminine with just a hint of flair given that she_ would _be out and about)_. Herself, the fearless, self-appointed ringleader, with an ear for gossip, a tongue for sass, and an eye for good style. Hinata, the head-in-the-clouds darling of the group whose sweetness was even better than dango and was somewhat balanced by a surprisingly astute mind. Tenten, their resident realist, fiercely loyal and unapologetically opinionated, with an occasional, often painfully funny tendency to put her foot in her mouth. And, last but certainly not least, her official best friend and chief rival, Haruno Sakura, brainy beyond belief and far too nice for her own good, with a fiery temper that was coming to rival even her _Shishou's_ and a virginal naivete that could be positively adorable in the face of her and Tenten's admittedly dirty minds.

Shimmying her way into a plum-colored sundress - she just _had_ to take advantage of the unseasonably warm weather they'd been experiencing - Ino's thoughts settled more fully on her pink-haired friend and the shopping trip into which she'd strong-armed her yesterday. Giving herself a cheeky smile in the full-length mirror hanging on the interior of her closet ( _okay, she and Shika technically shared the closet, but it was all_ hers _)_ , she wondered with some glee whether Sakura had worked up the nerve to test out her little early birthday present yet. If she didn't say so herself, the vibrator had really been a master stroke _(pun_ so _intended)_ , and she deserved total props for it. Hopefully, the gift would be exactly what her friend needed to _finally_ get out of the broody, Uchiha-Sasuke-inspired funk into which she'd resolutely settled and put her in touch with her inner sex kitten.

While it wasn't _really_ any of her business who Sakura did (or, in her case, didn't) spend her nights with _(although, let's be honest, as her best friend and chief advisor on all things sex related, it kind of was)_ , Ino was so, _incredibly_ tired of the girl's unrequited affections for the decidedly arrogant, much too self-satisfied, admittedly sexy Uchiha. At thirteen, the all-consuming crush had been perfectly acceptable and utterly understandable. After all, Ino herself had carried a flame for the good-looking jackass for an embarrassing amount of her childhood and preteen years. But at almost twenty-five, well, Sakura's forever-unrequited love was pretty fucking inexcusable, if you asked _her_. She hid it a bit better than she once did, but to the well-trained eye, it was still painfully obvious.

As she'd tried to explain to the stubborn-ass girl again just yesterday, there were so many attractive fish in the Konoha sea, and it was pretty dang clear that the Uchiha did _not_ intend to be reeled in anytime soon. She herself had never had the fortune ( _or rather, misfortune… probably_ ) to fall into Sasuke's bed and had never _directly_ spoken to anyone who had, but she'd heard the rumors. One-night stands, no-strings-attached flings with fellow ANBU, more than one seduction mission under his belt… yes, Uchiha-san definitely liked _variety_. And, while Ino totally got all that and certainly didn't _fault_ him for it - after all, up until her engagement to Shikamaru, she'd played the field quite a bit herself - it _definitely_ wasn't what she wanted for Sakura. _No, what the pink-haired kunoichi needed was a nice, soft, sweet boy who would love her, cherish her, take her on dates, meet her parents, and finally, gently, and patiently introduce her to the wonders of sex after a good few months of going steady._ If she couldn't get that through her friend's generously sized forehead, then a vibrator was her next-best bet.

Leaving behind her bedroom - she'd make the bed later; it was Sunday, after all - Ino stopped off in the bathroom to freshen herself up a bit and apply some much-needed make-up. Last night, she, Shikamaru, Choji, and good, old Asuma-sensei had met up for drinks and BBQ ( _gotta keep those team traditions alive!_ ), which, once Asuma had gone home to Kurenai and their two quasi-adorable brats, may or may not have devolved into a drinking contest involving more than a few sake bombs each. _It was all Choji's fault… but she, admittedly hadn't helped matters with her enthusiastic cry that she could totally drink the two, much larger men under the table._ _Well, nothing a little concealer and blush couldn't fix._

Ten minutes and a swipe of pink gloss later, she darted to the front door, suddenly realizing that it was quarter to eleven. _Where_ had _the time gone! If she wasn't careful, she was going to end up like a certain sensei-I'd-like-to-fuck (pre-Shika, of course)._ Grabbing her bag from the hook to the left of the door, she slipped on her sensible flats (the little French bistro they'd selected was a fifteen-minute stroll away, so practical, yet still cute, footwear was a must) and let herself out into the street, breathing in the fresh, early spring air.

Arriving at the restaurant - on the way over, she'd run into Choji's mother, which had resulted in a five-minute conversation about her recent engagement to Shikamaru and current dating prospects in the village (it seemed that her own mother wasn't the only one keen for grand kids these days) - Ino quickly spotted Hinata and Tenten. The bistro had opened recently, and she eyed the decor with satisfaction: a black-and-white checked floor ( _tres classique!_ ); a little chalkboard on the long, wooden bar listing the specials; hanging wrought-iron lanterns that gave the place a vintage twist; cushy red booths along the walls; and crisp, white tablecloths on all of the tables... _yes, someone had a good eye for design._

Sliding next to Tenten with a cheery "Hey, ladies!," Ino took a quick look at the drink menu, immediately settling on the exceedingly delicious prospect of a Kir Royale. _Nothing cured a hangover like some morning bubbly!_ She was rather surprised that she'd beaten Sakura; after all, the girl was usually their resident early bird. _Hm… hopefully, she hadn't been called into the hospital for an emergency._ Weekend mornings were usually pretty safe bets, but her medic-nin friend was a classic workaholic and a much-requested Konoha Hospital employee these days.

Just after her champagne flute arrived at the table, brought over by a rather attractive brown-haired waiter with burly forearms and a cute, slightly crooked smile, the final member of their little quartet showed up. "So sorry I'm late, everyone!" Sakura grinned and slid into the final seat, next to Hinata and across from Ino, wincing slightly as she settled in. _Probably twisted an ankle rushing around the hospital again and didn't see the point of healing it yet._ She looked quite pretty that morning, actually, her cheeks delicately flushed, her green eyes extra bright, and her hair still slightly damp from her morning shower. Ice-blue eyes running analytically over her friend's appearance, Ino was particularly pleased to see that the three-quarter-sleeved red dress she had on was one of the new ones they'd picked out yesterday on their shopping spree. _Yes, she looked good. But there was something… off_. She just wasn't sure exactly what, yet.

Passing the drink menu across the table, the blonde gave her a welcoming smile. "Ah, not to worry, Forehead, I beat you by just a few minutes. So, what'll it be… pick your poison!"

At that, Sakura laughed rather artificially, eyes running over the list. "I could _definitely_ use a drink this morning, I think!"

 _Suspicious._

The waiter sidled over, and the kunoichi gave him a smile. "I'll take a Bloody Mary. Please let the bartender know that a little extra vodka never hurt anyone."

 _Very suspicious._

Fortunately, it appeared that Ino wasn't exactly alone in her thoughts, for Tenten jumped in as soon as the waiter turned away from their table. "So, what's eating you this morning, Sakura? I mean, I know you like your liquor, but I thought you were more of a bottomless mimosa kinda girl."

Sakura shrugged in obviously feigned casualness. "Eh, you know, just figured I'd try something a bit outside of my comfort zone," she replied, not quite meeting Tenten's eyes. At that, her cheeks flushed slightly darker, and she picked up the menu in front of her. "Anyway, what are you all getting? Have you decided yet? The Croque Madame sounds delicious, but, then again, so do the strawberry crepes."

 _Very, very suspicious_.

Unfortunately for Ino's curiosity, the conversation drifted immediately over to the menu, just as Sakura had intended, with Hinata happily ooh-ing and aah-ing over the various options. Slightly frustrated by the obvious diversion tactics, Ino exchanged a hopefully subtle "am I crazy or is Sakura acting weird?" look with the weapons mistress, and Tenten nodded ever so slightly back, left eyebrow raised inquisitively. _Well, they would get to the bottom of this. Sakura couldn't hold out forever. She'd basically read the whole dang menu already and would soon run out of distractions..._

They placed their orders - crepes for Sakura, the Nicoise salad for Hinata, a goat cheese and spinach omelette for Tenten, and the smoked salmon plate for Ino - and then the pink-haired woman immediately turned back to the Hyuuga before anyone else could butt in. "So, tell me, Hinata. How's wedding planning going? Are you getting excited for your big day? I know Naruto certainly is!"

 _Hm… smooth move, Pinky, monopolizing the conversation like a veteran._ Ino coyly took a sip of her beverage, allowing the soonest bride-to-be to take her turn, talking her way through her most recent appointment with the caterer. _She would let Sakura continue this little farce... for now. But when Ino finally struck, she wouldn't know what hit her._ Her best friend might be one of the most physically powerful kunoichi in Konoha, but no one topped Yamanaka Ino when it came to mental manipulation.

"Well, I'm so glad that you finally put your foot down on the menu, Hinata," Sakura commented brightly. _Too brightly._ "Really, the idea of _ramen_ at a formal wedding. I know it's _Naruto_ we're talking about, but… good call!"

"Ah, yes, Naruto-kun _was_ rather disappointed," Hinata chuckled, that silly, adorable little smile she always got at the barest mention of her fiance's name lighting up her face. _Gods, I hope_ I _don't behave like that with Shika_ , Ino mused, momentarily caught up in Sakura's chatter despite her resolve. _On Hinata it's cute, but on me… ugh!_

She seemed to have a staunch ally in Tenten. "So, Sakura, enough talk about weddings for the time being. No offense, Hinata, but the Hyuuga have been incredibly overbearing with Neji and me about picking a date, and I'm at my wits end. It's making me itchy to even think about it. So, tell us, any new dating prospects in your exciting, single life?" The brunette asked her question in her typical perky tone, but Ino could hear the sharpness of the woman's beloved shuriken behind her voice.

"Oh, no, of course not," Sakura replied airily, her green eyes dropping immediately to the hands that she had gripped around her glass. "Just little old me and my apartment, you know!"

Ino smirked at that, suddenly realizing what was probably going on. _The wince upon sitting, the flushed cheeks, the double entendre about trying something new… HA! Looks like goody-miss-two-shoes really went to town on that brand-new vibrator last night!_ _Time for a little Yamanaka victory lap!_

Fortunately, it was all women around the table, and sex had never exactly been a taboo subject of conversation among them. Tenten, in true weapons mistress fashion, had a stash of toys that rivaled Ino's own, and Hinata, while not nearly so adventurous, was definitely _not_ the blushing virgin she let on to be. She tended to clam up when asked for the gory details, but Ino had gotten that much out of her. "Just you and your apartment, eh, Forehead, dear? What, you don't want to tell TenTen and Hinata about my early birthday present?" Ino asked "innocently."

At that, to the blonde's utter delight, the kunoichi's green eyes went round in shock, and she let out an utterly scandalized little " _Ino!"_

"Oooh, Ino, what did you get her?" Tenten asked jealously, immediately picking up on the trail. "You took her by Sato-san's, huh? I know Hinata would never go in, but you could have _at least_ invited me."

"Uh, uh! Best friend's privilege!"

Sakura, cheeks glowing bright, looked like she was about to say something else, but she was very unfortunately let off the hook by the arrival of brunch. Taking pity on the woman and tucking into her salmon, Ino gave her a little smile across the table. "Not to worry, Forehead. I don't expect your full review _now_. We're in public, after all! I'll stop by your apartment later this afternoon, after I'm done meeting with Hinata and her mother over at the shop. Then, we can have a _real_ heart-to-heart about it!"

With that, the conversation fell into a lull. After a few minutes of quiet eating, Sakura had evidently recovered enough to turn the conversation back around to weddings, which she had apparently decided was a safe subject. Ino had to give her some credit for that. Had it been her, she would have long-ago broken down over the fact that all three of her closest friends were engaged and she hadn't even dated a guy for more than a few weeks yet, but Sakura was one heck of a trooper. _Or she was just that terrified by the prospect of being the primary subject of conversation_. Which seemed somewhat likely, actually. For, despite the news of the vibrator having been brought into the open, the tightness in her voice, the general twitchiness every time anyone said her name, and the nervous darting of her eyes all indicated that Sakura was still hiding something. _Had that silly little gift so vividly rocked her world? Unless… she's hiding something else..._

As the waiter came over with their post-brunch drink orders - tea all around, but no dessert given the upcoming wedding season - they shifted gears to the various activities of the former male teammates to whom none in their little party happened to be engaged. Ino kicked it off, having just seen her third teammate and spoken to his mother slightly over an hour ago. "Choji wants to become a jounin sensei, believe it or not. We had a Team 10 reunion last night, and he was going on about it. Asuma-sensei even started tearing up a bit. It was probably the booze talking, but it was still pretty damn adorable. Doesn't that make you all feel _super_ old, though?"

Her audience nodded fervently. "I could see that, actually," Hinata commented, accepting the lavender Earl Grey that their waiter passed her. "Choji-kun's always been so sweet. He would be a great fit for the right trio of genin. Don't you think, Tenten?"

"Oh yeah, sure. He'd be world's better than Lee, at least. You'll _never_ believe this, but he's been threatening to go to the Yondaime about teaching too." She rolled her eyes, likely envisioning another generation caught up in the lure of green spandex and blatant over-training. "On a potentially more interesting note, any dating prospects for Choji? Lee-kun's utterly hopeless on _that_ front."

"Afraid not. At least as far as I know," Ino replied. Then, turning to Sakura with a teasing grin, she launched into one of her favorite attacks, hoping that a little verbal spar would shake her friend to reveal whatever secret she was sitting on. "You know he'd be _perfect_ for you, Forehead. Sweet, kind, heir to one of the foremost clans in the village, _and_ , best of all, you'd get to be an honorary part of Team 10. How about it?"

Sakura should have been ready for that one. Ino teased her about the possibility of dating Choji fairly often, and her usual approach was to throw something sassy out about being too prickly for him to handle ( _which_ , Ino had to concede, _was probably true_ ). Today, however, she just took a large swallow of jasmine tea in response, promptly choking on it. "Yes, well, I, um, don't think I need to... complicate my life, uh, any further... at this time," she sputtered as Hinata gingerly patted her back, pale Byakugan eyes reflecting the concern in Ino's heart. _Wait, was she for real? Did Sakura_ really _think she was trying to set up her up with Choji? Girlfriend was sure loopy today._

"Sakura-chan… is everything…"

"I'm fine… I'm fine…" the kunoichi managed to choke out. "Just... got some tea down my windpipe. Tell us, Hinata… how're Shino and Kiba?"

 _Hm… this was getting pretty dang weird. Was there something…_ wrong _with Sakura?_ Utterly disinterested in whatever Hinata was saying about Kiba's latest girlfriend (he cycled through women like her former sensei burned through cigarettes... passionately, desperately, and far too frequently), Ino quickly ran through her memories of everything that had transpired since Sakura's late arrival in the bistro but, most unfortunately, came up empty handed.

Then, the Hyuuga shifted gears to Shino's activities, lowering her voice to a whisper, and Ino's ears perked up. Despite her concerns for her friend, it was dreadfully difficult to ignore the possibility of decent gossip, after all. "He's been… out of the village _a lot more_ lately, if you know what I mean…" _Of course. That could only mean ANBU._ While they technically weren't really supposed to know who was and wasn't in ANBU, being a bunch of observant jounin kunoichi, they all knew the drill. _As for Shino's involvement, well, that wasn't a surprise. He'd always been kind of dark and pretty damn broody. Definitely the type. Just like..._

"Whoa, well good for Shino! Hey, Sakura, speaking of _all that_ , how's Uchiha Sasuke doing these days? Honestly, I don't think I've seen him in months. Have you? Are you still his medic? I know I'm engaged and all, but _I_ certainly wouldn't mind _treating_ him, if you catch my drift!"

 _TENTEN! Oh gods, how could you!_

Apparently, the brunette had been on a somewhat similar wavelength to Ino, but very, very unfortunately had forgotten about Sakura's history with the arrogant bastard. It was _somewhat_ understandable: Tenten had been a year ahead of them in the Academy, and hadn't been particularly close with Ino or Sakura until they were jounin, by which point she'd gotten a bit better about hiding her affections. That being said, the brunette _totally_ knew; she and Hinata had quietly filled her in soon after they'd turned brunch into a regular thing. It appeared that the excitement of Shino's ANBU promotion must have really distracted her. _Sakura had already been pretty much hysterical… now, they were_ really _in for it..._

Hinata blanched, Ino kicked the weapons mistress under the table, and Tenten herself clapped her right hand over her mouth in utter horror. But the damage was done. "Sasuke-kun? He's fine! Perfectly fine! I haven't seen him at all lately! Not at all!" Came the pink-haired girl's tight-throated response, her already high-pitched voice a good half-octave higher than usual. Utterly flustered, she fumbled with her teacup, nervously sloshing the hot tea onto the saucer as she set it down far too quickly.

 _Oh gods, the lovesick kitten act gets worse every damn time. At least she didn't_ break _the teacup. She's got it really bad today, though. And to think we'd had an almost perfectly normal conversation about the asshole just yesterday afternoon._ Well, Ino had seen enough. "Say, look at the time. Shall we get the check? Sakura, I'll be by your place around four for our little chat. Sound good? Maybe you should, uh, take a nap or something before I come over, though. You seem kind of like you could use one." _That or a tranquilizer. Or the motherload of alcohol._

"S-s-sure! Yeah, good idea! I, uh, didn't get very much sleep last night!"

With that, the foursome paid up and parted ways: Tenten muttering a quick apology to Ino and Hinata under her breath, Hinata promising to be by the flower shop at three with her mother like they'd discussed yesterday, and Sakura rushing off in such a scarlet-cheeked, bright-eyed, discombobulated flurry that Ino almost wondered if she should reschedule the Hyuuga wedding follow-up appointment altogether and head over to her friend's apartment immediately. _For something exceedingly curious was afoot, and Yamanaka Ino intended to get to the bottom of it._

* * *

Quarter-past four in the afternoon, Ino found herself standing outside of the familiar wooden door of her best friend's apartment, butterflies churning rather unpleasantly in her stomach. Sakura's behavior at brunch had been so strange, it almost had her wondering if she'd been placed under some sort of crazy mind-destroying jutsu that had frazzled her brain, turning her into a twitchy, anxious mess. _That would be pretty cool, actually. Super useful for interrogation work._ But surely, if that were the case, either she, Hinata, or Tenten would have noticed? _Or maybe it was just the mind-blowing effects of the vibrator. Gods, please let it just be the vibrator._

Ino _really_ didn't think it was "just" the vibrator.

Rapping her knuckles firmly on the door, she heard Sakura's little voice call "Coming!" A minute later, it swung open, revealing her friend. It appeared that she might have actually listened to reason for once and taken a nap. She was dressed in a light green pajama short set with little white kunai sprinkled across the fabric, and her hair rather resembled a pink bird's nest. For a moment, green eyes sparkled happily, lips curved up into a smile, and pale cheeks flushed with delight. Then, the light went out of the girl's eyes, and her face fell in what could only be described as disappointment. "Oh. Pig. It's you. Come in."

Despite her moderate concerns about her friend's sanity, Ino couldn't let that rather obvious slight slide. Stepping into the apartment's living room as Sakura shut the door behind her, her hands came to her hips in a _slight_ dramatization. "Yes, Forehead, it's me. Don't act so crushed. I was going to visit you at four, remember? Who did you expect, Kami himself?"

Green eyes widened slightly in that same nervous way that Ino had repeatedly witnessed during brunch. Then, evidently getting a hold of herself, Sakura let out a fake little chuckle, turning towards the kitchen. "No, no, of course not. I just thought... oh, but it doesn't matter. Here, can I get you anything to drink? Wine? Beer? Sake?"

Ino watched her friend's retreating figure skeptically. "Forehead, it's Sunday afternoon, not even cocktail hour yet, and you're freaking wearing pajamas."

"So? I'm _allowed_ to drink, Ino. I'm an adult, you know. But, if you don't _want_ to join me…"

"I'll have a glass of whatever you're having," Ino replied quickly, not wishing to piss Sakura off any more than she absolutely had to. She seemed a lot less scatterbrained than she had been earlier, actually, which was a definite relief. But she also seemed a bit… _surly_ , which wasn't so great, because surly Sakura all too frequently turned into violent Sakura. And violent Sakura was… well, not really designed for enclosed, rented spaces.

As Sakura busied herself in the kitchen with the wine glasses, Ino perched on the lovely dove-grey couch they'd picked out together last year. It looked _so_ good in the space, playing masterfully off of the dark wood of the floor, the cream-colored walls, the bright red accent pillows, and the large, rust-colored bloodstain on the right arm… _wait. WHAT?_ "Sakura," Ino called out, a touch of unease in her voice, "Did you know that you, uh, got blood all over one of the arms of your new couch?" As a kunoichi, a trained medic, and a T&I apprentice, she'd seen her fair share of blood, but that was… _a lot of blood. And it was pretty fresh looking._

"What's that? Hold that thought; I'll be right there." As promised, Sakura strolled into the living room about thirty seconds later, clutching generous glasses of white wine in each hand and balancing the bottle somewhat precariously in the crook of her right elbow.

"You look ridiculous, you know," Ino commented before she could stop herself. She didn't _mean_ to be snarky, but she couldn't really help it; it was an integral part of the otherwise perfectly lovely and wonderful Yamanaka personality. "Anyway, like I was saying… you seem to have a bit of a problem." Lifting up the accent pillow closest to the right arm, her blue eyes widened as she took in the full extent of the damage. The entire leftmost cushion was stained a rather nasty shade. That _definitely_ wasn't coming out.

"Oh. You saw that, huh?" Sakura asked slowly, taking a big gulp of wine and seating herself rather stiffly on Ino's left. "Well, I guess I should probably come clean, then. I'm... _sorry_ I didn't say anything at brunch. I know I probably seemed totally crazy. I was still… _processing_. And it would have been really awkward with Hinata and Tenten there. I mean, they're great and all, but they're not, well, _you_ , Pig."

"Uh, thanks, Sakura. I think." _Why was this starting to feel like it was about to unfold into some sort of murder confession? Oh right, probably because of all of the blood on the couch that someone had poorly attempted to halfway hide with a sad little pillow. Duh._ "So… out with it. Who did you kill?"

Green eyes widened in surprise, and Ino breathed a sigh of relief. "What? Oh, you mean the stain. No one. The blood is… well… it's… uh… _Sasuke-kun's_." Eyes shifting immediately to her lap as her cheeks turned rosy, Sakura busied herself with taking another large swig of wine.

"Uh _huh_." _Well, that made sense, actually._ Sakura _was_ his personal medic, and she'd mentioned before that a number of her jounin patients preferred to come to her directly instead of the hospital when wounded. _Except_ … "But these stains look new, Sakura. Sorry, I know that sounds creepy; it's one of those lovely skills you pick up in T&I. And didn't you say yesterday that Sasuke wasn't going to be back to the village for another week?"

"I did. He, ah, came back early. Last night, in fact."

 _Last night. When Sakura's sanity imploded. Praise be; they seemed to_ finally _be making a bit of progress._ Then, a sudden, horrifying thought occurred to Ino. "Oh my sweet Kami, Sakura. Sasuke's not… he isn't… _dead_? Is he?" _That would_ certainly _explain why she'd seemed so out of it at brunch. Although, why she wouldn't have simply not shown up altogether…_

Sakura's nose scrunched, almost as if Ino had told some sort of displeasing joke. "No. As far as I know, he's not dead." She took another deep drink, topped off her glass, and then raised her gaze to Ino's, expression stony with some sort of sudden resolve. "I guess I should probably tell you _everything_ before you jump to any more crazy conclusions, huh?"

Ino smiled thinly. "I'd appreciate that."

Sakura nodded silently and took a deep breath, falling back onto one of those calming, meditative exercises they'd all learned a lifetime ago during their Academy days. "Okay, so, here we go. You have to promise not to tell anyone and not to _do_ anything, though, got it?"

 _Weird. What was she getting herself into?_ "Look, Forehead, you _know_ I don't like making promises without knowing -"

"Fine. Just promise you won't say anything, then? This is really… _personal_."

Ino slowly nodded her assent - contrary to popular belief, she _could_ keep a secret if she felt like it - and Sakura smiled weakly. "Thanks, Pig. So, last night, Sasuke-kun came to my apartment around midnight for medical treatment. Concussion, katana slash to his left bicep, sprained ankle… classic combat wounds, you know?"

"Right."

"So, I treated him like I always do. And everything was fine and normal. Except, well, usually, after I'm done treating my patients, I send them home. But I couldn't do that with Sasuke-kun because -"

"Since he had a concussion. Yeah, yeah, I know the Konoha General protocol."

"Exactly. So I shipped him off to bed. To, uh, my bed."

 _Ah._ Suddenly, Ino had a sneaking suspicion of where this _might_ be going. The butterflies began dancing around her stomach again, but this time, they were the happy, excited kind. "Go _on_."

"Right. I was about to settle down onto the couch for the night, but then I realized that it would be a lot more comfortable with some blankets. And I obviously keep those in my bedroom… where Sasuke was. I went in. And I tried to _ignore_ him, I really did. But he had his shirt off, which was kind of _distracting_. I was doing great, I only took the briefest of peeks, but then I realized - this is going to sound _really_ silly - he'd found, your, uh, _gift_. He'd turned it on and it was… _vibrating_. In his palm."

 _Oh, this was rich!_ Ino let out a rather victorious shriek that was cut off by a rather scandalized "Ino!"

"Sorry! You just had me so tickled, Forehead! But did he know what it _was_?"

"Well, I _tried_ to throw him off by telling him it was a massager, but he saw right through that." _Silly girl, of course he did._ "And then, one thing led to another, and he - I can't _believe_ I'm telling you this - but, he asked if I'd use it on myself. In front of _him_."

Ino had to hand it to the Uchiha; that was certainly one way to cut through their decade of sexual tension. " _Did_ you?"

Sakura swallowed hard, shaking her head fervently "no." "I hadn't even used it alone yet! Anyway, I was super embarrassed. I kind of panicked and said some stuff... like how all of this was _new_ for me, if you know what I mean. Anyway, one thing led to another and we… uh… you know…"

 _If Sakura turned any pinker, her head might actually be liable to explode_. "You kissed?" Ino added helpfully.

"No. Well, yes. We definitely kissed. But we also… we, uh… _had sex_."

"FOREHEAD! Oh, Forehead!" Ino grabbed the rather shell-shocked woman, pulling her in for a tight hug, her heart beating wildly in her chest. _To think, just yesterday she'd been advising Sakura to forget about the Uchiha, and now… this! She took back every bad thing she'd ever said about the sulky bastard!_ Her friend's apparent numbness to what should have been all of her relationship dreams coming true was a bit _off-putting_ , though. _Surely, Uchiha Sasuke hadn't been… disappointing?_ Ino drew back, forehead furrowing as she took in Sakura's surprisingly blank expression. "It was okay, I hope? He didn't like, do anything weird. Or _hurt_ you, right?"

"No, no, it was really good. Er, well, _he_ was really good… I don't know how _I_ was really…"

Ino smiled a touch tentatively at her friend, increasingly confused by how morose she looked. _Hm… maybe she was just a bit nervous about divulging all of this information? Yes, that had to be it. The little prude had said it was "personal," after all. Well, not to fear, good, old Ino-chan would set her straight on the importance of spilling all to your BFF._

"Oh, silly, I'm sure you were _fabulous_. It's not exactly high-level jounin military strategy! Gods, I have _so many questions_." Inspired, she began rattling them off on her fingers. After all, she'd been waiting for this moment for Sakura for _years_ … and she'd admittedly always been more than a little curious about Sasuke's bedroom habits herself. "Did he make you come? He _better_ have. How big was he? Six and change? Closer to seven? You can show me with your hands if you want… that might be easiest. Anyway, how did you do _it_? Any oral? By the way, I'm totally happy to go over my tricks of the trade for future reference; all you need to do is ask! But back to last night... was it all vanilla? To be honest, I always imagined that he'd be kind of _kinky_ ; it's probably that whole dark, brooding thing he's got going on, you know? Oooh, also, how about the next morning? Oh Kami, Forehead, morning sex is the absolute be -"

Suddenly, she was jerked rather harshly back to reality by the realization that Sakura might just have shouted something. "INO! That's seriously the fifth time I've said your name! I'm not _done_!"

"Right. Sorry, sorry! Got a little carried away. I'm the worst." Vowing to pay more attention, her eyes scanned Sakura's face. With the big, bad secret officially revealed, Ino had been expecting to see satisfaction, happiness, or at least a touch of bemused embarrassment. But instead… well, her friend looked pretty _upset_ , actually... and _angry_. _Fuck. Either she's pissed at the prying… or this whole episode was way more_ complicated _than she'd realized._

Ino licked her lips, blue eyes narrowing. "So, if it was so, mind-blowingly good, why are you _frowning_ at me like that, Forehead?"

"He left."

"Left?"

"Yeah, that's what I just said. I woke up this morning, and he was gone. Like he wasn't even there in the first place."

 _Okay. Well, that was… not great. Unless…_ "Sakura, you don't think you could have, uh, dreamed it all, do you?"

"Where did the blood on the sofa come from, then, Ino? Or the blood on my… uh... my sheets?" _Oh, Forehead!_ "Also, he left his ANBU _vest_ behind…"

 _Idiot. Jackass. No. Those words were_ too good _for him._ Ino knew exactly what _this_ all meant. She'd been there, done that... a couple of times, if the truth be told. In those situations, however, it had always been pretty dang _expected_ ; both parties had known what they were getting themselves into, how one-night stands were _supposed_ to work. But _this_? Screwing a girl whom you _know_ is desperately in love with you, who is so, obviously, _painfully_ inexperienced, and then running off to Kami knows where while she's sleeping? She'd heard about the Uchiha's alleged preference for casual fucks, but it hadn't occurred to her that he could be insensitive enough - no, _stupid_ enough - to pull that sort of crap on _Sakura_. He was supposed to be her teammate… her _friend_! She was his goddamn medic!

The blonde drained the rest of her half-full wine glass and set it on the coffee table, rising to her feet in slightly tipsy rage. "Sakura, sorry to run out on you like this, but duty calls. I've got an Uchiha to _murder."_

"Ino, no!" Sakura's little hand came to Ino's left wrist, dragging her back to the sofa with her deceptively powerful grip. "Please don't! You promised you wouldn't _say_ anything!"

Ino turned to her friend, mouth falling open in shock as she took in the pleading shine in her eyes. "You realize what happened, don't you?" She paused, nibbling anxiously on her right thumbnail. _Ugh, there was no kind way of saying this._ "That he… _took advantage_ of you?"

Sakura released her, and Ino rubbed the place she'd gripped with some displeasure, returning to her seat. _Did she_ have _to use her chakra-enhanced strength? Sure, she knew how to heal bruises, but it still hurt!_

"Look, I _know_ that's what this looks like, Ino. But, well, you weren't there!" A soft, rosy glow drifted over the kunoichi's cheeks, and Ino was flabbergasted to see that Sakura was almost _smiling_. "He was _so_ gentle. So careful. The way he looked at me… his eyes… his kisses… his voice… he _cared_ , Ino, I know it! I'm not foolish enough to say he loves me, but I saw something last night. I swear it! Now, I don't know _why_ he left, and, trust me, I _don't_ plan on letting him off the hook easily, but I really don't think that Sasuke-kun meant to..."

Ino rolled her eyes at that, painfully frustrated by her friend's willful naivete. " _Sakura_. Don't be stupid. Guys will do _anything_ for sex. And remember, he's a hot ANBU operative in his mid-twenties. That basically guarantees that he's had lots of experience with seduction."

"But, Ino…"

Green eyes blazed with a steady resolve, and Ino found her own argument weakening. _Damn you, Uchiha Sasuke._ The blonde sighed massively. She didn't _like_ what she was about to do, but she had to concede that this was Sakura's mess to handle as she saw fit, and, as her best friend, she had a sworn duty to fall in line, having stated her case. Besides, she could never say "no" to that sad little pout. "All right, Forehead. You've got me. Personally, I don't know what the hell he was thinking, other than with his dick, of course, but if _you_ want to give him the benefit of the doubt until we're able to establish definitively that he is guilty of being the world's biggest asshole, well, you're _way_ nicer than I am."

Switching gears from righteously outraged friend to sympathetic confidant, Ino patted Sakura's left hand reassuringly, giving her a confident smile. "We'll get to the bottom of this. Don't you worry; Ino-chan is on the case. That being said, if you even _think_ about jumping into bed with him again before we have a satisfactory answer, I'm disowning you. No ifs, ands, or buts. Now, it's Yamanaka-Haruno game plan time."

And so, for the next hour, as the light outside the living room bay window shifted from the yellowy glow of the late afternoon sun to a blazing orange and pink sunset, the two kunoichi strategized. Their work was slow going and the conversation tense at times. For both women were strongly opinionated in general and clearly had _extremely_ different feelings about this particular situation. Then, of course, there was also the not-so-insignificant matter of the target himself. Cornering an Uchiha who didn't want to be caught was no easy feat on a good day, and Sasuke was notoriously evasive when it came to discussing his feelings ( _if he even_ has _any_ , thought Ino, rather darkly). A good bit of delicacy would be required, as well as some force - they agreed on those points - but the mechanics required careful consideration.

Initially, Sakura had been in favor of a direct, one-on-one confrontation, but Ino had firmly put her foot down. Her friend was brilliant, capable, and strong enough to pretty much hold her own against the Uchiha in a Sharingan-less spar, but she was also decidedly smitten. Sasuke clearly knew that, and, in Ino's mind, there was no way he _wouldn't_ use her friend's weakness to his advantage. A few apologetic words and some well-executed canoodling, and it seemed far too likely that Sakura would drop the interrogation matter entirely, returning them to the same, unresolved state of sexual tension in which they'd tangoed for well over a decade. _And given all the crap he'd put her though, Sakura deserved far more than some sad little one-time fling._

"What we need to do is get _tough_ , Forehead. Remind him what a catch you are and make him realize what he's missing," the blonde explained carefully, taking a sip of her Merlot. Upon finishing the Chardonnay, they'd transitioned over to red and were now midway through the bottle. Conspiring to bag an ANBU operative was thirsty work, after all.

"Hm." Sakura had been playing absentmindedly with a loose string on the scarlet throw she'd draped over her slender legs, but she looked up in vague irritation at that. "That's going to be pretty _difficult_ , Ino. It's not like I haven't tried to catch his interest over the past, oh, I don't know, _seventeen odd years I've been attracted to him_."

Ino chewed her wine-stained lower lip pensively. "Fair point. Now, Forehead, don't pummel me for this, but it does occur to me that maybe, just maybe, you've been going about how to be attractive the wrong way."

Sakura set her wine glass down hard on the coffee table, her gaze focusing angrily on Ino's cool blue stare. _Might be about time to cut her off, actually._ "Ino, please! I _know_ how to be attract -"

"Not when it comes to Uchiha Sasuke, you don't." The blonde cut in smoothly, a serene smile spreading across her lips in the face of Sakura's increasingly pink-faced hysteria. "You, yourself just said it. You've been lusting after him for forever, and all you have to show for it is one, isolated fuck that could _easily_ be chalked up to someone not having gotten some in longer than usual." Aware that Sakura was seconds away from exploding, Ino quickly pivoted to her main point. "So, what we need to do is start from scratch. Figure out what _he_ likes and use that to turn you into something irresistible."

"But Sasuke-kun doesn't like _anything_. Well, except tomatoes. And training. But I already tried the whole 'I'm going to impress you by becoming a totally badass kunoichi' route, and it didn't do a thing for me. Oh, he cares about the Uchiha clan name too, obviously. And his family."

Sakura frowned rather sulkily, slumping back onto the sofa, but Ino ignored her, the gears in her mind beginning to spin as she considered her friend's final statement. _The Uchiha clan… painfully proud, decidedly arrogant, dreadfully entitled. That was it!_ "Forehead, stop looking so mopey and listen up. I figured it out!"

"Figured out _wha_ t, Pig?"

"What you're doing _wrong_ , obviously." Sakura rolled her eyes, but Ino ignored it, her sudden epiphany making her temporarily immune to such sass. "Sasuke… he feels _entitled_ to you. He knows your head-over-heels in love with him, and, well, that _bores_ him. You're safe. A known quantity. Nothing to worry about."

"INO! That's it! I _refuse_ to listen to such insults in my own -"

"Sakura… _Sakura_ …" Ino cooed soothingly, placing a comforting hand on Sakura's right arm, "Give me a chance. Sasuke's always _loved_ a challenge. He lives for competition, right? Think of how he and Naruto are constantly trying to one-up each other, his kind of fucked-up relationship with his brother, the way he used to behave during all of our Academy drills… like he always had to be _the best_ and that still wasn't good enough."

" _Okay_ …"

"So, with that in mind, what you need to do, is play hard to get. _Make him work for it._ "

At that, Sakura's face turned scarlet. "But, Ino, he's, uh, already _had_ me…"

"I know that. But you said it was pretty good, right? That he was into it and that you thought it might have actually meant something to him?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, he didn't _say_ anything, but it certainly seemed like it. And with Sasuke, it's all about the looks and gestures, you know. He's never exactly been the most -"

" _Shhh_. Let me finish, Sak. So, if we run with your theory that he might actually care about you as something _more_ than a casual lay - and let me just say, I'm seriously skeptical about that, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for the sake of this little experiment - then we can probably assume that he'd like to sleep with you again. And, when you combine that desire with the whole competitiveness thing and the natural male tendency towards possessiveness, which we _know_ he's got in spades, he probably wouldn't like it very much if you slept with someone else, either. Sound about right?"

Even as she said it, this seemed like a hell of a stretch, but Sakura perked up significantly. _Hm... perhaps she'd struck gold, after all? Sakura knew Sasuke far better than she._ Then, green eyes widened in obvious dismay as she absorbed the totality of what Ino had just said. "But.. I don't want to sleep with anybody else, Ino!"

"Oh, silly!" The blonde laughed. "You're not actually _going_ to. We just have to make it seem like you _want_ to. Like a seduction mission, not that you've _ever_ been on one of those. We'll get a guy to agree to work with us, invite him to your birthday, and then wait for the fireworks!"

Much to Ino's relief, Sakura nodded slowly. _Finally, after an hour of going around in circles, they appeared to be getting somewhere!_ "Well, I can't say I'll feel 100 percent okay about _tricking_ Sasuke-kun into exposing his feelings, but, well, he pretty much deserves this after last night, doesn't he?"

"I'll fucking say!"

Sakura sighed, running her left hand through her hair. "Fine. I'll do it. I just hope I'll be able to pull it off. Who are we going to get, though? Kiba would probably do it, but getting back together with him…." She trailed off with a look of utter distaste. "I _really_ don't want to have to kiss him again, even if it doesn't mean anything. And didn't Hinata say at brunch today that he has a new girlfriend? Choji would never do it; he's too nice. I suppose I could ask Lee-kun… but that seems kind of _cruel_ …"

Ino smirked. "You are _not_ falling for Lee, even in jest, Sakura. I forbid it. Besides Sasuke would figure that one out in half a second. No, I've got someone _much_ better in mind. Far more believable and _far_ more threatening. And, very fortunately for you, he owes me a big-time favor. Yes, Forehead, if we play our cards right, dear little Sasuke-kun is going to completely _flip._ "


	4. Shisui's Hot Date

_[AN: Sooo... did you guess correctly? Apologies for the kind of painful cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter; I almost spilled the beans, but the temptation of drawing things out a bit was just too great to pass up. I'm not the most patient person in the world myself and certainly understand the thirst to know. Fortunately, this story is flowing out of my head quite nicely (not sure what that says about my mental state!), so I was able to get this chapter completed in relatively short order. Utterly no promises that this pace of two chapters in three days will continue (I do plan on getting back to the next chapter of my other fic and have some semblance of a life outside of writing, somewhat unfortunately, at times), but I'll do my best! Also, thank you again for all of the comments, follows, and favorites! As usual, this content is rated M (hopefully, if you've made it to chapter 4, this isn't exactly a surprise at this point, but I figured it was appropriate to mention), and I in no way own Naruto.]_

He had to hand it to him, Itachi always went galavanting off on missions at the worst of times. Of course, Shisui knew perfectly well that this wasn't _really_ his cousin's fault. As a once-in-a-generation talent and a high-ranking ANBU captain who had forever proven his loyalty to Konoha at the tender age of thirteen by negotiating the peaceful resolution of the Uchiha almost-coup, Uchiha Itachi was a much sought-after shinobi for missions of _almost_ all types: assassination, infiltration, espionage, negotiation, scouting, and escort. Missing from the roster was seduction, for clan heirs were officially disbarred from such assignments. Some archaic rule having to do with the slim possibility of a contraception jutsu failing and the target either siring or bearing an illegitimate child. _Anyway_ , while rumors had been swirling for a good few months that he would soon be cutting back on some of his active assignments in favor of beginning the long, slow transition from clan heir to leader, that certainly hadn't stopped Minato from assigning Itachi a month-long diplomatic mission to Hidden Cloud to negotiate a new intelligence treaty with the decidedly prickly Raikage a couple of weeks ago. It was a testament to the high level of trust that the Yondaime personally put in his cousin, and Shisui was exceedingly proud of Itachi for it. And grateful, too, if the truth be told, for the man's presence took a lot of pressure off of him as a fellow Uchiha prodigy and possessor of the exceedingly rare Mangekyo Sharingan.

All that being said, on days like today, Shisui found himself wishing that Itachi could be a little less driven, a little less brilliant, a little less perfect. Oh, and also, a little more proximate, because dealing with his otouto's shit was absolutely no cakewalk and _not_ what Shisui had signed up for. He was happy to _help_ … but playing the role of the serious, reasonable one wasn't exactly his style. It made him feel decidedly lame and grown up, and he didn't really like either of those sensations, even if he _was_ technically thirty-three, as Mikoto had so helpfully reminded him just the other day. He loved his obasan like the adopted mother she basically was, but she was one heck of an annoying would-be matchmaker.

 _Well, he'd done his best with Sasuke_ , he thought to himself, taking the first glorious sip of his beer as he sat at the counter of the dimly lit bar. The Soused Sensei was a favorite jounin hangout spot and his preferred place to go on nights like this when he was more interested in drinking than mingling. _Really, though, it wasn't_ his _fault that sweet little Sasuke-kun_ \- _and he_ had _been utterly adorable as a child... all big dark eyes and glorious, pinchable cheeks -_ _had grown up into a driven Black Ops headcase with a massive inferiority complex and a significant chip on his shoulder._ No, the blame for _that_ rested largely on Fugaku, with a small amount left over for Itachi, primarily for being so damn good at everything literally all of the time. Mikoto-obasan had done her best to try to counterbalance the overt favoritism of her husband, but it was an impossible task in the face of so much alpha male testosterone.

 _It was really too bad, for Sasuke himself was an exceedingly talented shinobi and an utter credit to his clan's name._ Top of his class in the Academy, a member of one of the strongest genin teams Konoha had ever produced, and the undisputed heir to the infamous Copy Ninja's destructively beautiful _Chidori_ , he'd been promoted to jounin at the age of seventeen, while still technically a minor, and was the first of his peers to be invited into the elite ranks of ANBU. Sure, he'd always had to work quite a bit harder than Itachi, his way with words certainly wasn't up to his brother's standards (there was a reason he had yet to be assigned a diplomacy mission, after all), and he'd always been a bit, well, _surly_ , but those were all relatively minor flaws. _It was truly a pity he couldn't see that._

 _But, of course, the greatest pity of all was what he'd apparently done last night. No, that was no pity... it was an absolute travesty_. Thanks to his close relationship with Sasuke's precious nii-san, Shisui had already been exceedingly well-informed of the younger man's attraction to their dear little medic. Indeed, he'd watched their relationship develop from a distance for well over a decade, from their youth (her glowing smiles and soft blushes; his open-faced annoyance accompanied by a telling protectiveness always lurking in the background), to their chunin days (his growing respect as she developed into a truly formidable kunoichi; her maturing affections as she learned to see and understand his preferences and flaws), to their early years as jounin (a true friendship developing even as Team 7 officially disbanded), and, finally, to Sasuke's ANBU promotion and Sakura's full-time immersion into her medical-ninja career. They saw one another much less often these days than they had as children, yet the mutual respect and attraction still remained, the bonds strong, but the desire always left unspoken. Up until today, their dynamic had often been rather sweet, actually, warming the latent romantic in Shisui's rather snarky heart. _Well, as long as he ignored Sasuke's dalliances with a few ANBU kunoichi, which were, admittedly, kind of understandable. After all, he was no saint himself, and everyone dealt with the stress of serving as a Black Ops in different ways._ Yes, things had been looking very bright indeed for Sasuke's prospects until early this morning, when he'd very possibly thrown all of it away by getting cold feet as soon as he'd given into his impulses in classic, emotionally clueless, twenty-something male Uchiha fashion. _For a talented shinobi, he could really be an idiot sometimes._

Taking another sip of his beer, Shisui's thoughts turned from his little cousin's past to his suddenly murky romantic future. He didn't often concern himself with Sasuke's life - Itachi and Mikoto usually had that responsibility firmly on lock down - but their conversation had rather rattled him, and he was finding it surprisingly difficult to set the matter aside. It was why he was currently sitting alone in a bar, drinking away his Sunday night, actually.

 _Sakura was an intelligent, reasonable woman. Perhaps she'd be willing to look past Sasuke's sudden bout of dickishness?_ For, in addition to their history, there was no denying that his cousin was in some ways quite the catch. Uchiha men tended to be darkly handsome, and Sasuke was certainly no exception to that rule. He was also usually intelligent, extremely good at what he did, and from the main family of a storied clan with a legendary Kekkei Genkai. _Because_ , as Shisui had long ago learned to his immense benefit, _more girls that one would think got off on things like that_. Moreover, based on what Akira had told him in this very bar a few months ago - which he _really, really_ wished she _hadn't_ , because thinking of his baby cousin nailing one of his ANBU reports was someplace he'd never wanted his mind to go - last night should have been, at the very least, extremely decent for the pink-haired kunoichi. _Which wasn't all that surprising. After all, Sasuke was_ his _little cousin._

On the other hand, Sasuke was decidedly arrogant, pretty damn standoffish, often seemingly incapable of putting his thoughts to words, and still hadn't figured out how he should treat the woman who meant so much to him, as this morning's conversation had so profoundly illustrated. All this made it extremely likely that Sakura hadn't figured out that he desperately loved her. Which meant that she _might_ feel a bit used after he snuck out on her this morning. Which meant that she _might_ not be so forgiving. Which meant that Sasuke-kun _might not_ _get_ another chance.

Raising his glass to his lips, Shisui realized that the stein was empty. _Well, that had gone down remarkably quickly._ Glancing down the empty bar, he caught the eye of the blue-haired bartender and gave him a nod and a smile. The man sidled over, relieving Shisui of his glass. "I'll have another of the same."

"Make that two. You can put them _both_ on his tab," a familiar, feminine voice called out from a few feet behind him. Chuckling at his new companion's audaciousness, he looked over his shoulder and found himself eye to eye with the one and only Yamanaka Ino. Right now, her blue eyes were shining with a bright, lively glow that he rather liked the look of, if the truth be told. "Drinking alone on a Sunday, _Uchiha-san_? You know, in the medical community, we have a word for people like you…"

"My, my, ' _Uchiha-san_.' How _proper_ we've grown in our old age, Yamanaka- _san_. Then again, I understand that you're an engaged kunoichi these days, so perhaps some formality is _appropriate_. By the way, my heartiest congratulations." He smiled warmly, shuffling over slightly to give her plenty of room on his left. "Now, to the all-important business… may I see the ring?"

Perching herself on the bar stool next to him, Ino rolled her eyes but proffered her left hand with a somewhat dramatic flourish, placing her left elbow on the polished wooden surface. "Does it meet your _satisfaction_?" She asked snarkily, the solitary diamond sparkling in the dim light of the grubby little bar as she shifted her hand slowly left and right.

"Ah. As expected, Nara has really outdone himself," Shisui replied teasingly. "But, why should I be surprised? Only _the best_ for you, Ino-chan."

Another eye roll; Ino had always been the queen of them. "You _know_ it. Anyway, enough with the shameless flirting. Tell me, Shisui, what's new with you these days? Been seeing anyone lately? You know, I don't think we've really had a chance to catch up since I gave you a black eye in your bedroom last April."

Shisui smiled widely in amusement, suppressing a chuckle. _Someone was in_ quite _the mood; he'd forgotten how good she could give it._ "Ah, one of my _fonder_ memories, Ino. How truly kind of you to bring it up. Then again, you were always known for your sensitivity, hm?"

With that, their beers arrived. They clinked glasses, and both took sips. As he put down his glass, Shisui did his best to ignore the rather pleasant way that his companion delicately licked a bit of stray foam from her upper lip, reminding him of some of the other, more creative uses that she had for that sharp yet admittedly talented tongue. Ino noticed, of course. She might lack his ocular jutsu, but those eyes of hers still missed very little. Her right eyebrow heading coyly towards her hairline, she gave him a knowing smile and murmured rather warmly under her breath, " _Aww,_ _Shisui-kun, did you_ miss _me?_ "

The Uchiha shrugged, emitting a rueful chuckle at the slightly uncomfortable effect of her tone on his body. _Engaged woman. Former partner. Might very possibly hate his guts. One-hundred percent off limits for three absolutely excellent reasons._ "Ah, maybe here and there. You're not exactly easy to forget, you know, Ino-chan."

"Well, isn't that high praise from _Shunshin no Shisui_." She absentmindedly ran her right index finger around the rim of her glass as she looked down at the amber liquid. "I certainly doubt that you've been bereft of female companionship since our falling out, though."

"Hn. That's a fair assessment." _Where was she_ going _with this?_

Ino took a long sip of her beer and met his gaze once again, face unreadable. "I haven't forgotten about you _either_ , you know. For the record, I'm not exactly proud of how I behaved that afternoon. I mean, I'd known that we hadn't ever talked about going exclusive. You had every right to go seeing other people -"

 _Were they really doing this now?_ It appeared so. After all, it was just them and the checked-out bartender (who'd probably heard/seen it all before given the often dysfunctional nature of shinobi relationships), Shisui was the one who had hurt _her_ , and he certainly wasn't going to deny her closure, if that _was_ in fact what she wanted. He frowned, steeling himself slightly, and cleared his throat. Unlike many others in his clan, he had no particular holdups about admitting to wrongdoing or talking about his feelings, but he didn't exactly _relish_ this moment, particularly after the morning he'd had with Sasuke. "Well, yes, but I _shouldn't_ have brought it up when I did," he murmured, his grip on his glass tightening slightly. "You certainly deserved to know about Megumi, and I was right for telling you, but maybe not while we were lying naked in bed together after some of the best sex _I've_ ever had." He shook his head in vague disgust at the memory. "I know better than _that_. Considering the circumstances, I'd say I got off pretty easy with the black eye, particularly given how quickly Sakura-chan was able to heal it. Yes, I certainly owe you one for my… _less than genteel_ behavior."

Looking up, he realized that Ino was smiling. _Well that was good…_ although, it wasn't the soft smile he'd been expecting. _It was rather… predatory, come to think of it_. _Oh gods, what did she want? Had he just been… played?_

"Is that _so_? You _know_ , it's funny, I actually had something I'd been meaning to ask for your help with, Shisui- _kun_. It came up just this afternoon, and you seemed like the perfect _candidate._ " She gave him a broad, dazzling smile, and Shisui cursed internally. _Oh yes, he_ definitely _just got played. Dammit, he'd forgotten how manipulative Ino could be!_ "Tell me… have you spoken with your cousin recently?"

Shisui scratched the back of his head, hoping that they weren't headed where he very much expected they were going. _Time to play dumb._ He could probably get away with it. After all, he had _a lot_ of cousins. "Ah… Itachi? He's away on a mission, actually. Or perhaps… Ebisu?" _She'd had a fling with Ebisu once, back when she was very young. Too young. If he was remembering correctly, his cousin had even been her first. Perhaps looking up all her exes was Ino's way of ensuring an unburdened and easy start to her marriage? It was certainly a… novel concept._

"No and no. _Gods_ , Ebisu, though; I haven't seen him in a good three years. No, Shisui, I'm talking about Sasuke-kun." Her mouth twisted into a harsh smile, making one thing vividly clear. _Ino totally knew._ Unsurprisingly, Sakura had evidently told her best friend at least something of what had gone down last night chez Haruno. _Actually, make that more than "something," judging from her expression_. Which meant that Sasuke had not one but two seriously pissed off, concerningly powerful kunoichi out for his head. _Well, little cousin, it's been nice knowing you…_

"What's this? Cat got your _tongue_ , Shisui?" Ino asked, the tone of her voice illustrating exactly how she'd earned her spot in Torture and Interrogation.

"Why? Did you want it?" The retort came out basically on its own, and Shisui resisted the urge to smack himself on the forehead. _Engaged woman. Definitely should_ not _have said that._

Ino chuckled darkly. "No. But I know someone else who _needs_ it. We'll get to _that_ in a minute, though; let's return to your precious little cousin, shall we? Anyway, I'll make this short because I've had one _hell_ of an afternoon... do you know where Sasuke _slept_ last night?"

 _Hn, okay. Keep it vague. She's pissed, and you_ definitely _don't want her turning on you with any Yamanaka mind jutsu crap._ "You know, I don't exactly keep close tabs on my cousin's bedroom habits, Ino-chan. I think we can both agree that that would be a little... weird." Ino glowered, and Shisui switched gears, painfully aware that he was engaged in an unwinnable spar. "Ah, well, now that you mention it, he _might_ have said something about staying at Sakura-chan's -"

"Quite right." The woman's voice had gone soft and low, dropping to little more than a whisper. An exceedingly angry, threatening whisper that Shisui was pretty sure was going to haunt his dreams for the foreseeable future. "Do you know what he _did_?"

"He may have mentioned something about… treatment?" _Good answer. Good. Safe. Answer._

"I'd say he _treated_ her. Your cousin - your utter _bastard_ of a cousin - _broke_ into an innocent girl's apartment in the dead of night, _bled_ all over her beautiful new couch, and underwent medical care at her loving fingertips because she's an _absolute saint_. Then, once he was good and healed up, he _seduced_ her into giving up her virginity. And, if that's not utterly revolting enough, once she was asleep, he promptly decided he'd had his fun and _left her_." The blonde's face had gone white with fury as her body quaked with rage.

 _Okay, well, that pretty much aligned with what Sasuke himself had fessed up to. Except…_ "Wait… Sakura was a _virgin_?" _Yes, the little asshole had definitely neglected to mention that critical bit of information. Maybe he didn't know?_ Suddenly, it seemed extremely likely that his cousin was never, ever going to be forgiven. _And, forgetting family loyalty for a minute, he might not deserve to be..._

"Obviously! The worst part of all of this, though, is that I talked to her today… and she's still, somehow, in love with him! She thinks last night 'meant something' to him, too." Ino scowled angrily at him. "Just for the record, your cousin is _officially_ the worst piece of sh-'"

"Ah. Well, it did mean something," Shisui interrupted. _Perhaps Sakura wasn't so clueless as to Sasuke's affections, after all._ "I mean, he didn't _say_ it quite like that, but Sasuke's never exactly explicit when it comes to his feelings. You might be interested to know that he's a bit of a wreck right now, actually."

"Ha. A wreck. Poor baby. You should see _Sakura._ " Then, Ino's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, did you say he _cares_?"

"Is that _surprising_?"

"Um... _yeah_ ," Ino replied, the sarcasm in her tone heavy. She let out a shriek of laughter that drew the gaze of even their exceedingly bored-looking bartender. "I can't _believe_ this! Shisui, this is perfect!"

Shisui frowned, dark brows furrowing in vague confusion. _Had Ino officially lost it?_ "I fail to see how this situation could in any way be described as _perfect_ , Ino-chan _._ Now, I know you said you've had a long day. Would you like me to settle up and take you home?" _That didn't sound right_. "To your apartment." _Still not great._ "To _Shikamaru_." _Better. Much better._

Ino patted his arm reassuringly. "Not to worry, Shi, I'll fill you in. Besides, I can't go home yet! I haven't explained what you'll be doing for me."

 _Oh fuck._ In all the excitement about the Sasuke-Sakura tryst, he'd completely forgotten that he'd told Ino he owed her one. _Well, this could get interesting… or completely humiliating._ He waited, breath bated, as the kunoichi swirled her almost empty beer. Then, she met his gaze with a decidedly coy smile. "So, Sakura and I were talking about the best way to deal with Sasuke."

 _Uh oh._ "I'm not beating up Sasuke, Ino. The clan won't like it." _Indeed, Fugaku would have his balls for that one, even if Sasuke_ was _his second son._ Rule number 1 of clan survival: Don't lay a finger on the head family. Minus friendly sparring, of course, which he took total advantage of. Itachi was his best friend, but there would always be something deeply satisfying about clocking him in his perfectly chiseled chin on occasion...

"No, Shisui, that's not what I meant. Sakura and I planned this all out. What we want to do is make him _confess_ his feelings. That is, if he actually has any, which I'm still pretty skeptical about, truth be told. As you know, this probably won't be so easy to achieve given his whole… _personality_. So, we have to trick him into it. And _that's_ where you come in."

 _Tricking Sasuke. Hm… as his older cousin, he could definitely get on board with that._ _Suddenly, this whole "favor" thing didn't seem so bad, actually._ "So…?"

"Sooooo… wait a second." Ino downed the rest of her beer and then set the empty stein rather heavily on the wooden bar. "Okay, I'm ready. Your assignment is to attend Haruno Sakura's twenty-fifth birthday party as her new love interest, next Saturday night at the Twist Kunai. Hosted by yours truly. Be there or be square. Prior to, you will take her on _one_ date, for the sake of appearances. Somewhere visible… we want to get people _talking_. Maybe lunch or something, say on Wednesday. I don't know, up to you. Do whatever you _usually do_ when you've got the hots for a new… _target_." Ino paused and eyed him cannily. "Well, except fuck her. You are most definitely _not_ allowed to fuck her. Unless she wants you to, I guess, but I don't think she will. Anyway! Getting back to business. So, one date, and then you'll escort her to her birthday on Saturday. I don't think I need to go into details given that it's _you_ we're dealing with, but you're to look every bit the part of a new, sexy fling. Stick by her side, buy her drinks, hold her, kiss her, invite her to dance, you know the drill. Oh, and make sure Sasuke sees _everything_. Obviously."

 _Well, this was certainly_ interesting. After all, having spent a fair bit of one-on-one time with Sakura (being one of her patients and having a bit of a bad habit of overdoing it on missions) and possessing what he'd politely describe as a bit of a frisky mind, Shisui had definitely thought of the medic _in that way_ before. _How could one not?_ _Perhaps she didn't have the_ fullest _figure on the planet, but she was pleasantly womanly, with killer legs, and the combination of pink hair and green eyes was positively exotic. And she was smart, mostly sweet, and impressively powerful. Yes, this was one mission he was_ exceedingly _willing to accept._ "I'll do it."

"Really? Oh, Shisui, I could _kiss_ you right now!" Ino's cheeks colored in what Shisui was rather amused to realize was a blush. "That is, if I were a little more drunk and much less engaged, of course."

 _Well, that was most definitely for the best. After all, he was supposed to be Sakura's hot new love interest._ The bartender sidled up to them and proffered the bill, which Shisui paid in short order. Turning to Ino, he gave her a rakish smile. "Well, Yamanaka- _san_ , it has been a pleasure, as always. Give Shika-kun my best regards, will you? I'll await your further instructions regarding the next steps for our little mission."

"Perfect. Just give me a day to update Sakura, and then it'll be open season," Ino agreed, hopping off of the stool. She fussed with her bag for a minute, and then looked up at him with an exceedingly coy smile. "By the way, Shisui, I think you should know one more thing."

"Oh? Did my _baka_ of a cousin do something even more deplorable?"

"Good guess and probably, but no, that wasn't actually what I was thinkin. No, I just thought you deserved to know, now that you're all committed to this plan... I wasn't _really_ angry about the whole sleeping-with-Megumi thing. I was _mostly_ being dramatic. If we're gonna be completely honest, I'd actually had a side thing going on with Kiba for _weeks_ before you came clean about her." She leaned in, kissed his cheek in a way that made his heart flutter more than he cared to admit _(that damn perfume she always wore was one heck of a trigger)_ , and then smirked, blue eyes glinting mischievously. "Anyway, thanks again for the booze!"

Shisui chuckled as she turned for the door. _Well, color him impressed. Yamanaka Ino was even_ more _manipulative that he'd realized. It was a good thing Shikamaru had a head for tactics; he really needed it._ Eyes watching her retreating figure with vague appreciation, he released his parting volley. "Remind me to never _actually_ piss you off, Ino-chan. I do prefer my mind more-or-less in one piece."

* * *

Monday came and went in largely typical fashion. On mandatory vacation for the next two weeks due to the number of hours of active duty he'd accrued over the past six months - it was one of those well-meaning limitations Minato had recently enacted in an effort to improve the mental health and well-being of his ANBU operatives - Shisui mostly lazed about, sleeping late, catching up with a couple of longtime friends who were also currently in town, and enjoying the unusual opportunity to relax and unwind. While Itachi and Sasuke had both muttered rather darkly about the initiative when the Hokage had put it in place late last year, Shisui quickly concluded that he was a _very_ big fan.

Tuesday, he stopped by his aunt's and uncle's for lunch and a check in with Sasuke. It appeared that his little cousin was taking his advice about laying low quite seriously for, over their meal of beef curry and rice, they ended up sitting through a rather long and uncomfortable lecture from Mikoto about Sasuke needing to get out and socialize more. "You're going to be twenty- _five_ soon, Sasuke-kun. How will you _ever_ get a date when you're always either out of the village on missions or home with me?" she'd chided her exceedingly sulky son. Sasuke, in a wise move, had kept his mouth shut, and Shisui himself had skillfully managed to bite back a rather impolitic retort about the younger man already having gotten himself out and about quite enough for one week. Yes, he could be _mature_ when he tried. _Take that, Itachi._

After lunch, they'd spent a couple of hours on target practice - Sasuke had yet to be cleared for sparring after the injuries he'd sustained on his mission - with Shisui keeping the sparse conversation light. It had been _extremely_ tempting to bring up Sakura, but he'd demurred, not wishing to raise his cousin's suspicions about what Yamanaka Ino had put him up to prematurely. Around four in the afternoon, he'd bid goodbye to the man, his vague comment about "seeing him Saturday night" met with a slight twitch of discomfort and a classic Uchiha "tch," and headed off on his merry way for drinks at the Sensei with Kakashi, Genma, and a few of the other veteran jounin in town. A bit nervous about the morrow - Ino had stopped by his apartment Monday afternoon and informed him that Sakura would meet him for lunch on Wednesday at that new sushi place near the hospital he'd been meaning to try - he'd ended up drinking a _bit_ more than he intended over the course of the evening. But, out of deference to his brand-new, super-fake relationship, he had resisted the urge to take home the buxom redhead making eyes at him from four seats down, despite Genma's urging, which was most definitely _something_ to be proud of. Maturity _and_ restraint. He was becoming positively sedate in his old age.

Wednesday dawned bright and clear. Shisui woke sometime after ten, head pounding from the sake he'd downed last night - his tolerance really wasn't what it used to be - and then set about making himself tea and toast, over-buttered just how he liked it. Around eleven, he showered, hoping to wash the regret from last night's drinking and from what he was about to do down the drain, and then dressed himself in a pair of typical, jounin-issue black pants and a long-sleeved navy shirt with the Uchiha clan emblem embroidered on the back. After all, the sushi bar was casual and Sakura would be coming straight from the hospital, so there was no need to be too try-hard. _And, of course, it wasn't like he was trying to actually_ impress _her or anything. Obviously. This was 100%, most definitely a mission. Not a date._

Sakura was already there when he arrived at the restaurant, seated at a table right in front of the full-length windows. "I asked them to seat us here. I hope you don't mind. Ino suggested that this be as high visibility an excursion as possible," she murmured under her breath by way of a greeting.

 _Hn, all business. How… disappointing. Well, good to see you too, Sakura-chan._ Shisui gave the kunoichi a sunny smile as he took the seat across from her, back to the windows. "It's perfect, Sakura-chan. May I say that you look lovely today?" He placed his left hand over her right one, noticing how she flinched slightly but allowed it, watching him rather guardedly. Despite the skeptical expression, she _did_ look quite nice: the pink hair he rather admired framing her round little face, her cheeks slightly flushed, full lips coated with a light sheen of some sort of neutral lip gloss, and bright green top bringing out the emerald of her eyes.

"Thanks," she replied shortly, picking up the menu and beginning to read.

 _Well, that wouldn't do at all. Behavior like_ this _certainly wasn't going to convince passersby that they were on a date._ "Tell me about your morning," he asked gently, smile fixed on his face as he lightly rubbed the back of her little hand with his thumb. Her skin was surprisingly soft for a kunoichi's, but then again, she did spend most of her time in the hospital these days.

"My… morning?" She looked up as if startled. "I worked. It was fine."

Eyes turned immediately back to the menu in utter disinterest, and Shisui sighed in slight exasperation. _He'd_ tried _to be subtle, but it appeared that he'd need to say something_. _Did she want this or not?_ Dropping his voice to a whisper, he leaned across the little table, gazing "lovingly" at her. "Sakura-chan, _my_ understanding is that you intend to try and make Sasuke believe that you've moved on. If you'd like this little plan of yours to work, you're going to need to _try_ a little harder. I know it's difficult, but you could at least _pretend_ you're excited about the prospect of having lunch with me."

Pink brows furrowed momentarily, and then her emerald eyes widened in awareness. "Right, sorry. I'll do better."

"Excellent. Shall we start over then? I believe I'd just asked you about your day," he replied diplomatically, the winning smile he'd first given her returning to his face.

"Oh, how sweet of you to ask!" _Much better_. Leaning back in his chair, he half-listened as she launched into a somewhat giddy retelling of her morning at the hospital, all names redacted for patient privacy, of course. As she spoke, Shisui carefully watched the way her face animated, how her eyes sparkled fondly as she talked about setting some unfortunate genin's broken wrist, clearly in love with her work. _Hn, yes, she was quite pretty like this. Itachi was right. Sasuke-kun really was_ quite _the little fool sometimes._

After a few minutes, a waiter came over to take their order, and Sakura flushed. _Rather pleasingly._ "Could we have another minute? I'm sorry, but I haven't actually had a chance to look over the -"

Momentarily activating his Sharingan - _whatever would he do without it?_ \- Shisui scanned the menu, and then jumped in, eyes shifting back to black. "Actually, why don't we split the lovers' sushi boat? Seems _appropriate_ , wouldn't you say?"

Sakura's flush deepened quite pleasantly, but she managed a shy little smile and a "H-h-hai, of course. Very appropriate." _Yes, she was positively adorable. Too virginal to_ really _be his type, but, well, he certainly wouldn't say no, if she were_ actually _interested. But she wasn't, of course. This was a mission, not a date._

 _Better keep telling himself that._

The waiter took their menus, and Sakura eyed him rather awkwardly, clearly not sure what she was supposed to be doing. It was becoming frightfully clear that the woman hadn't done this whole "going out to lunch with a guy" thing very often, and the thought rather saddened him. _Well, even if this was fake, it was his duty as a halfway decent man to make up for that._ "So, Sakura, looking forward to your party this weekend?"

She smiled warmly at him, her gratitude at the prompt etched all over her face. "Oh, yes, definitely. The Twisted Kunai makes the _best_ mango margaritas. I'm guessing that you're probably not really the 'fruity drinks' type, but I'm going to have to insist that you try one."

 _Hn, it seemed she did better with the whole "pretend date" thing when they were talking. Good thing he'd always been adept at carrying on a conversation._ "Tch, Sakura-chan, let's not go making assumptions," he scolded her teasingly, "After all, you barely know me… _yet_."

Another blush - it was a good thing she was a medic; otherwise, he'd worry that she had some sort of thermoregulation issue - and she dropped her gaze down to their joined hands, sweet little pink tongue darting out to wet her lower lip. Just as he was wondering if he should say something else, she looked up, a hint of a rather interesting warmth in her eyes. "Ah, well, I suppose I'll be learning quite a bit more about you this afternoon and Saturday, Shisui-kun."

"Looking forward to it." He gave her a cheesy wink to break the not altogether unpleasant tension that had suddenly spring up between them, and she giggled pleasingly. _Yes, this was turning out to be the best assignment he'd ever been on. The only problem was that he might now owe Ino_ twice _._ "So, is there anything in particular you're hoping to get for your birthday?"

They carried on in such a fashion until their sushi boat arrived, a glorious, wooden little vessel outfitted with a flotilla of sashimi and nigiri. Breaking their chopsticks apart with a pair of enthusiastic " _itadakimasus_ ," they quickly tucked in, Sakura selecting a piece of salmon and Shisui helping himself to white tuna. As they ate, the conversation fell into a lull, but the awkwardness of earlier had vanished. Indeed, Sakura was positively glowing across the table from him, and Shisui found himself experiencing that familiar, pleasing warmth that came from the knowledge that he had a companion well taken care of. In fact, this was turning into one of the better first dates he'd ever been on. _Tch, except it wasn't a date. It was a_ mission _._

He absentmindedly reached for a shrimp and then glanced up, rather surprised to find Sakura eyeing it somewhat beadily. Looking back down at the boat, he realized that he'd apparently snagged the final piece of fish. He smirked knowingly at the kunoichi, the pink shrimp held tantalizing out in front of him. "Something interest you, Sakura-chan?"

Green eyes darted somewhat guiltily away from the crustacean. "Oh no, no. Sorry, you have it. You got to it first. The shrimp are the _best_ anyway. So nice and sweet. I'd like you to have it."

 _Ah, so very nice and sweet. Yes, he would_ very much _like to take it, given the opportunity. The offer was exceedingly tempting_. _And his mind was sometimes frightfully pervy._ "Tch, now Sakura-chan, what kind of man would I be if I didn't give _my date_ first dibs on the last piece of sashimi? You have it. I _insist_."

Sakura reach out her chopsticks to claim the shrimp for herself, but Shisui's treacherous mind - clearly not at all grasping the concept that this was very much _not a date_ \- came up with a better idea. Avoiding her chopsticks, his smirk broadened into a full-on smile. "Ah, ah, Sakura-chan. _Open up_."

Green eyes widened in frank surprise, and he was rewarded with what had to be the eighteenth or nineteenth blush of the afternoon. Then, as instructed, the kunoichi slightly parted her pink lips and leaned forward, allowing him access. His own eyes locked firmly on her pretty little mouth, Shisui slowly raised the morsel to her lips and watched as she slowly accepted it, her expression decidedly tentative yet also somewhat intrigued. The whole act was positively absurd on some level ( _after all, he_ was _feeding her a piece of shrimp)_ , but also kind of sexy, and he found himself idly wondering what exactly those lips of hers felt like. _Well, Ino had said that kissing was on the table. Perhaps, he'd be finding out. Sakura seemed… potentially willing_.

Also, they totally had company.

Much to Shisui's annoyance, an exceedingly loud voice cut in from the doorway with an overly enthusiastic cry of "Saaa-kura-chan! Hi, Saaa-kura-chan!"

 _Hn. He'd know that voice anywhere. Naruto_. _Well, fuck._ For the purposes of his mission, this was actually an exceedingly favorable development. After all, the hyperactive blonde was Sasuke's best friend and was a dreadful loudmouth and gossip. Put those two facts together, and it seemed absolutely certain that the news of his cozy little date with Sakura would be reaching his foolish little cousin's ears in short order. From a _personal_ standpoint, however, Shisui found himself quite put off by the man's arrival. He'd been rather enjoying his lunch with Sakura, and the idea of someone butting in on the precious one-on-one time with her was, well, pretty damn annoying, actually.

Glancing across the table, he noticed that Sakura herself was looking decidedly conflicted. And more than a little guilty. Which made sense given that she was a very kind woman at heart and was effectively deceiving two of her genin teammates for personal gain. _Not that Sasuke didn't deserve every bit of the emotional angst coming his way. And it was for his benefit too, looking at the slightly bigger picture._ Setting down his chopsticks, Shisui reached out and took Sakura's right hand in his left once again, giving it a little, reassuring pat. _You can do this, Sakura-chan._

The blonde approach their table, clad in a bright orange top that perfectly matched his exceedingly loud presence, the surprisingly busty Hyuuga woman he'd be marrying in a couple of months in tow. Not for the first time, Shisui found himself wondering how this shockingly bright man (appearance wise, not so much in intellect) had _ever_ come to buddy up with Sasuke. _Sure, he and Itachi certainly had their differences, but did Naruto and Sasuke have_ anything _in common? Well, besides Team 7. And the lovely Haruno Sakura. And the fact that they were both utter and complete headcases._

Quickly composing herself, Sakura gave Naruto and Hinata a polite smile. "Hello, Naruto-kun, Hinata-chan. Stopping in for lunch? We're just finishing up now. If you'd like a recommendation, the shrimp sashimi is absolutely delicious!"

"Good to know. Thanks, Sakura-chan!" Hinata said brightly. Then, her pale eyes drifted over to Shisui, widening slightly at the likely realization that he was most definitely not his cousin. If he hadn't been quite so irritated by the sudden interruption, it would have been exceedingly tempting to laugh. Instead, he nodded his head slightly in acknowledgment, giving her one of the smirks that his clan was so well known for.

Her fiance, on the other hand, not so surprisingly, seemed utterly oblivious to his identity. Suddenly flinging his left arm around Shisui's shoulders, he began patting him rather aggressively on the back. "Aww, _teme_! You patched it up with Sakura-chan, huh? Good, old _teme_. Ya see? I know you had it in you!"

Yes, this was all growing _exceedingly_ absurd. Succumbing to his increasing bemusement, Shisui chuckled, which finally seemed to do the trick of alerting the Hokage's son to the little fact that something was a bit off. After all, Sasuke wasn't exactly known for his sense of humor. Bright blue eyes narrowing critically, Naruto peered into Shisui's face and then drew back in utter horror. "Wait! You're not _teme_!"

"Tch, I should say _not_. Or, at least, not usually."

"Shisui and I are out on _a date_ , you _baka_ ," Sakura explained unnecessarily. Her eyes were a little brighter than usual, and the first telltale sign of another one of her blushes was creeping up her cheeks, but she was managing pretty well, all things considered.

"But _Sakura-chan_ , what about _teme_? I thought -"

"Naruto-kun. I don't want to talk about _Sasuke_ right now. I'm having lunch with _Shisui_."

Naruto frowned rather angrily, and Shisui was suddenly, _ever so slightly_ uncomfortable. After all, the Hokage's son wasn't exactly the sharpest kunai in the toolkit, but he _was_ a formidable opponent, and he did possess the power of the Kyuubi. Fortunately, ever the peacekeeper, his better half chose that moment to enter the foray, placing a rather authoritative little hand on the man's right elbow. "Naruto-kun," Hinata murmured, soft and gentle as a cloud yet undeniably firm, "Sakura and Shisui are on a _date_. We should let them finish their lunch."

"But, Hinata! You know how important Sakura-chan is to -"

"Naruto-kun, we can talk about this later," she cooed commandingly, giving the man a soft smile. _Kill him with kindness… that's certainly one way to subdue a jinchuuriki._ "Good seeing you, Sakura-chan, Shisui-kun!"

With that, the Hyuuga steered the sputtering blonde away from their table, hand never leaving the crook of his elbow. As they made their way to the very back of the dining room, Naruto glaring indignantly over his shoulder, and Shisui gave him a smug little wave, feeling rather like the cat that got the cream. _That bit of bragging might very well get him in trouble later, but it was really too good of an opportunity to pass up._ Then, turning back to Sakura, he smirked. "You know, I kind of wondered how she put up with him. Seems she's got everything all figured out, hm?"

To his relief - she'd been looking pretty tense there for a minute or two - Sakura smiled and nodded. "Oh, yes, we've all figured out our way of handling Naruto. Personally, I prefer a slightly _firmer_ approach, if you get my drift, but Hinata's method certainly works like a charm. Really, the only one who's yet to figure out something effective is Sasuke-kun. But, then again, Naruto's never really been able to deal with _him_ either so… _oh_."

She'd been speaking from the heart, but, then, very likely at the realization of who exactly she'd been talking about, Sakura suddenly clammed up, eyes darting immediately to her lap. It was all rather sad, actually, and Shisui found himself feeling slightly… _less than great_ about the current role he was playing. _But no,_ he reminded himself sternly, _this was for the best. With a lot of luck, it might finally get her what she so clearly wanted_ and _encourage_ _his little cousin to take his head out of his ass._

"Shall we get the check, Sakura-chan?" He asked softly, after giving her a minute or two to collect her thoughts.

The kunoichi looked up, her expression initially rather morose, but it softened as she met his gaze. "Yes, I think so. I should probably be getting back to the hospital before someone wonders what happened to me." At that, Shisui signaled to the waiter and pulled out his wallet. "Here, we can split it," Sakura added quickly, beginning to reach for the red bag hanging over the back of her chair. "You know, since this isn't a -"

Shisui grinned and shook his head, wordlessly cutting her off. "Sakura-chan, please. Allow _me_. For appearances, if nothing else."

"You're sure? I _really_ don't mind splitting it you know -"

The waiter arrived with the check, Shisui glanced over it and pulled out a few bills, and then looked back to his companion. "Ready to go? We're all set." He stood and moved behind Sakura's chair, pulling it out for her.

" _Oh._ All right. Well… _arigato_ , Shisui," she replied softly, rising to her feet. "You know, I wasn't expecting to enjoy this, but I've had a rather… _nice time_ with you this afternoon."

"Hn, well, I'm glad to hear that I _exceeded expectations_. That is always the goal, you know. A point of Uchiha clan pride and all." The last sentence slipped out unbidden, and Shisui mentally smacked himself on the forehead as soon as he said it. It was the sort of thing he'd say on _real_ dates. After all, a lot of women initially seemed to find his surname intriguing but also rather intimidating, and he'd found poking fun at the legacy the most consistently effective icebreaker. With Sakura, however, given her whole Sasuke situation, it was somewhat dangerous territory.

The kunoichi didn't seem to notice, however. Or, if she did, she didn't really care. As he led her out the door and onto the quiet side street, taking her right hand in his left, she laughed softly. "Well, you certainly _look_ the part of an Uchiha. But, I have to say, your personality is certainly... _different_."

"I'm going to assume that's an _okay_ different," Shisui replied in an effort to diffuse the sudden rush of _desire_ that was suddenly inspiring his heartbeat to ever-so-slightly quicken.

They'd started walking away from the restaurant, back towards the main road leading to the hospital, but Sakura suddenly came to a stop at his words, turning to face him. Her emerald eyes searched his face rather sharply, and then a gentle smile blossomed. "Mm, well, it's hard to say _for sure_ after just one _not-date_ , but I think so. It certainly works for you, at least."

Shisui swallowed rather uncomfortably, surprised by how powerfully her gaze was affecting him. "Sakura," he murmured, aware that his voice had grown slightly lower and rougher than usual, "I, ah -"

"You can kiss me, if you like. I won't mind. It's for _appearances,_ after all."

 _Hn, don't mind if I do._ Slowly, his lips found his way to hers, his eyes drifting shut as they made their connection. She tasted rather pleasingly of… _strawberry._ With a name like "Sakura," he'd obviously been expecting cherries, but perhaps she wanted to avoid cliche. Her lips were lovely though, soft and warm against his and surprisingly _eager_ for a fake attraction. Indeed, as a delicate little tongue ran along his bottom lip, Shisui couldn't help but smirk, a familiar warmth beginning to stir deep within his belly. As they kissed, his left hand found its way to her lower back, slipping just under the hem of her shirt so that his fingertips could draw a little circle on her bare skin. He was rewarded with a little moan, and, all of a sudden, what was happening between them felt much more… _real_.

 _Perhaps, she'd be interested in playing a bit of hooky. After all, his schedule wasn't exactly packed, and his apartment wasn't too far away. Just a few blocks, actually..._

 _But no._ Where his mind was heading was _not_ a place he was willing to let it go. At least, not until Sakura got to know him a bit better, he established that she was no longer interested in pursuing Sasuke, and they weren't both taking part in a charade designed to convince said cousin to finally bite the bullet and confess his feelings. He cared too much about Sasuke _and_ Sakura to let _this_ happen. And so, certain parts of his body hating him for it, Shisui gently removed his lips from hers, lashes flitting open as he smiled down into her sweet, flushed little face, rather enjoying the hazy confusion in her gaze. "Well, I think that should have been _fully_ convincing," he commented rather cheekily, aware that it would be extremely appropriate to break the spell holding the kunoichi quickly and mercifully.

Pink flashes fluttered in vague confusion a few times, and then she smiled rosily, coming back down to earth. "Hm… yes. I'd say so. It certainly fooled me."

Shisui chuckled, fully disengaging his body from hers until only their hands (his left, her right) remained intertwined. _For appearance's sake._ "Now, what say we get you back to the hospital? I certainly don't want to be accused of making Konoha's number 2 medic late, after all." Sakura nodded her assent, and they made their way the rest of the way back onto to the main road. They walked in silence, both clearly caught up in their thoughts as the hubbub of the lunchtime rush swirled around them, yet it was a comfortable, familiar sort of quiet that Shisui rather welcomed.

With a bit more perspective - after all, it was hard to stay entirely reasonable with one's lips locked with those of an admittedly attractive woman's - he was _exceedingly_ glad he'd called things off when he did, and he suspected from the quick glance he'd taken of Sakura's pensive face that she was too. While he couldn't deny that a certain spark had been lit between the two of them over the course of their lunch, he _suspected_ , if allowed to fully come to fruition, that the attraction would prove itself fleeting, temporary, and rather superficial, if the utter truth be told. Sakura was an absolutely wonderful woman, but they lacked the compatibility, the deep emotional connection, and the history on which _real_ relationships rested. _Not that he, necessarily knew, or cared to know, very much about_ serious _relationships. Which was kind of part of the problem, come to think of it._

As they reached the hospital gates, Sakura gave him a warm smile, green eyes glowing with a new sort of fondness. _A bit like how she looks at Kakashi, actually. Was that creepy given what had just transpired between them? Very probably._ "Thanks again, Shisui-kun. I have to say, that was the best not-date I think I've ever been on."

At that, Shisui laughed, ruffling her hair sensei style. _After all, might as well fully embrace the awkwardness._ "Me too, actually. Although, to be honest, I think it was my first and only. I'll see you Saturday for round two?"

Running her hands with a slightly exasperated sigh through the pink mess he'd created, Sakura grinned back at him. "Looking forward to it. Also, I do _apologize_ if Sasuke or Naruto decide to try and kill you on my behalf in the interim. As you well know, my window is always open for any medical emergencies."

"Ah, well, that's all right, Sakura-chan. Just one of the risks of the mission, you know. Wish me luck on not actually needing to take you up on _that,_ though. Otherwise, you might very well need to find yourself a new fake boyfriend." And with that, he gave the woman a little salute. Turning on his heel, he headed promptly back towards the Uchiha district before he found himself in the destructive, very possibly deadly path of a _Rasengan_ and/or _Chidori_. _Well, it looked like his little cousin wouldn't be the only one laying low until Saturday night._


	5. Sakura's Birthday

_[AN: Aaaand birthday time! According to Google, Sakura's birthday is March 28, and I'm posting this on March 24, so good timing, I suppose. Thanks again for all the feedback, favorites, and follows - they are all so very appreciated! It's been seriously fun to read the thoughts on the characters and the Shisui-Sasuke conundrum... good to know that everyone seems to be just as torn as I am :). As usual this content is rated M (alcohol, swearing, mature content), and I do not own Naruto.]_

Well, she'd made it. She wasn't entirely sure she was going to more than a few times over the past seven days, but Sakura had somehow pulled herself through the week. It hadn't been pretty. There had been a few tears (the discovery that Sasuke had booked his follow-up appointment for his concussion with a _different_ medic had been particularly tough to swallow on Thursday afternoon), a lot of soul searching, more wine than was really ideal for her liver, and a great deal of second guessing. But tonight was _the night_ , her twenty-fifth birthday party, and it was _finally_ all systems go.

Sakura sat at the make-up table in Ino's bedroom as her best friend carefully and thoroughly spackled her face. "We're going for pretty and understated yet super glam and sexy!" Ino had cooed about forty-five minutes prior, and Sakura had demurely acquiesced, not really sure how one could be all of those adjectives at once but fully trusting in her best friend's vision. After all, sitting down and shutting up was really the least she could do. She'd been leaning on Ino _a lot_ this week, and the blonde had responded in truly epic fashion, taking all the angst and woe like the true champ she was. _Then again, Ino had always lived for drama._

Finishing up the last of her contouring, Ino leaned back in her chair with a satisfied smile. "I'm going to give you a nice, classic smoky look, I think." She pulled out a palette of shadows from one of the drawers in the table. "Maybe throw in a bit of silver to make these glorious green doe eyes of yours _really_ pop. Whaddaya say?"

When it came to Ino and make-up, Sakura had long ago learned that her own opinion counted for utterly nothing. And why should it? Ino was the artist, and it was just her face. But her friend liked to _pretend_ that she wasn't a complete despot, so she'd humor her as usual. Besides, the mindless chatter was keeping her from brooding. "Sounds great. Yeah. Silver should look really dramatic."

"Right? Now, shut your eyes and hold still. I'll tell you when you can open them again."

As Ino set to work, Sakura found her mind drifting, for what felt like the thousandth time, back to one week ago, when Sasuke had made love to her. It wasn't the _healthiest_ train of thought - thanks to her medic-nin psych training, she knew this well - but she couldn't really help it. Despite everything that had happened since last Saturday, the memories of the way he'd kissed her, held her, gazed down at her then, like she was the most important thing in the world to him, still inspired a warm, exceedingly happy glow within that she oh-so-desperately wanted to experience again. It, _he_ , had been everything she'd craved, and a little smile curled its way over her lips even now at the memory of the indescribable sense of peace that had come over her after, as she'd too-quickly drifted off to sleep in his warm embrace. On a practical level, she recognized that she was behaving like a hopeless little romantic, that sex and love were two _very_ different things, and that Ino would be utterly beside herself if she were to take a peek inside her mind right then. And yet, it had felt so _right. Surely, he had sensed that, too?_

But, of course, because this was _Sasuke_ , nothing could ever be so simple. So, _of course_ , accompanying all that gooey, lovey-dovey romanticism was a rather burning desire to hit him… _pretty dang hard_ , if the truth be told. Or, maybe, throw a tantrum - because, let's face it, something about him always seemed to bring out her tears, no matter how strong a kunoichi she became (although, these days, they fortunately[?] tended to be the angry kind) - and demand to know _why_. Why he'd done it. Why he'd left her. Why he'd avoided her all week, like he was angry or ashamed or afraid. Which was silly, because Uchiha Sasuke was _never_ afraid... and certainly not of her. Why he couldn't just _acknowledge_ for once in his damn life that he actually cared about her as something _more_ than a former teammate and personal medic. She, admittedly, still didn't know that with absolute certainty. But, the intensity, the passion, the _fire_ that she'd seen last Saturday night in those deep, dark eyes couldn't have been a lie, could it?

Well, it was no use speculating any further. For tonight, if Ino's somewhat twisted machinations went according to plan, she'd be finding out the truth. She just hoped that Sasuke's mind didn't completely self-destruct from what they were about to put him through. Because, yes, he _probably_ deserved every bit of the angst he would likely be experiencing, but she still couldn't deny that Ino's take-no-prisoners approach left her feeling more than a little guilty. Making him suffer a bit for his sins was one thing, but actually _hurting_ him in some lasting way was... quite another.

"All right, Forehead. Let's see how we look." Sakura's pink lashes obediently sprung open to find Ino's focused face immediately before her. "Oh, absolutely perfect, if I don't say so myself! You look smoking, Sak. Get it? Because it's a smoky eye. Obviously."

Ino held up a mirror before her, and Sakura peered at her reflection. At least when it came to make-up, she couldn't deny that Ino was talented ( _okay, yes, Ino was good at other stuff too... she was just better)_. The contouring that had sounded so over the top when the blonde had first explained what she had in store looked extremely natural, giving Sakura's cheekbones and jawline a bit more definition, highlighting her shapely nose, and even, somehow, making her forehead look a little less, well, _big_. As for her eyes… the darkness of the charcoal tones perfectly emphasized the brilliant emerald of her irises, while the subtle shimmer of silver gave them a certain sparkle that she was a little obsessed with, if the truth be told. Accustomed to never having enough time in the morning to bother with anything more than a bit of lip balm, Sakura couldn't help but let out a little sigh of surprise at how… _good_ she looked. She was still herself, but a smoother, sleeker, more polished, even - _dare she_ think _it?_ \- _sexier_ version.

"Oh come on, don't leave me hanging, Forehead. Do you like it?" Ino asked eagerly.

"Yeah… it's _amazing_ , Pig. Thank you."

Ino shrugged in feigned nonchalance, clearly satisfied with the reaction, and pulled out a berry-colored gloss that she carefully began to apply to Sakura's lips. "Eh, you know how much I get a kick out of girly crap like this, and you've always been my favorite canvas. Besides, you are the birthday girl, you only turn twenty-five once, you've had one hell of a week, _and_ you've got an Uchiha of one flavor or another to try and bed tonight. All that _definitely_ calls for TLC and some serious war paint. Now, shall we get dressed?"

The blonde bounced up to her feet, while Sakura stayed seated for a moment, trying not to dwell on her friend's less-than-subtle reference to Shisui. In a moment of weakness, she'd made the rookie mistake of mentioning their lip lock to Ino when they'd met up to rehash the faux date on Thursday morning, even admitting that it _hadn't_ been entirely for show and that she'd been kind of… _into it_? Figuring the _one_ Uchiha was already causing her more than enough grief, Sakura had quickly corrected course and vowed to the cackling blonde that she'd be pushing the elder Uchiha out of her mind as much as possible until this whole Sasuke situation was over and done with. But Ino, being, well, _Ino_ , had stubbornly refused to drop the matter, and it appeared that this exceedingly troublesome trend would be continuing tonight.

The blonde flitted into her walk-in closet to pick out her outfit, and Sakura allowed the red silk robe she'd been wearing to fall back onto the bed, where the black dress they'd bought together last week was waiting. It was fairly short, ending several inches above her knee, and form fitting, with a scoop neckline and full-length, sheer sleeves featuring a subtle tiny embroidered polka dots. Nothing overly fancy, but definitely a major step up from her usual medic-nin, sparring, and mission attire.

"I was thinking of going with the plum number tonight. What do you think, Forehead? You know how partial I am towards anything…. _Well now,_ check out sexy!"

"Ino!" Sakura felt her cheeks warm as her friend unexpectedly popped back into view. In a sudden fit of inspiration and/or madness, Sakura had decided that tonight was the night to finally put the lacy black lingerie that Ino had gifted her last year to use. Even if no one important ended up seeing her in it, she figured that the set would at least make her feel a little more desirable, and, as she'd stood in front of her bedroom mirror two hours prior rather overtly checking herself out, it definitely had. The blackness of the lace against her creamy skin; the manner in which the bra accentuated her petite bust, giving her actual, honest-to-Kami cleavage; the way the straps of the thong emphasized the roundness of her toned derriere… all of a sudden, she'd understood why Ino was always obsessing over underwear shopping. "You could have at least given me a head's up before barging back in!"

Ino chuckled, disappearing back into her closet, and Sakura busied herself with stepping into her little black dress as the woman continued to chatter. "Oh, don't be silly, you little prude. It's not like this is the first time we're getting dressed together. And you've sure as hell seen me in way more scandalous attire. You look good, Sak! I just thought _someone_ should tell you. After all, Sasuke doesn't exactly seem the type to lay the compliments on thick, the cold bastard."

At that, Sakura rolled her eyes - listening to Ino constantly trash Sasuke-kun was getting exceedingly old, even if she _might_ be right - just in time for Ino to dart back out, now clad in an off-the-shoulder plum number that was short, tight, and sequin-y. "I saw that." Stepping over to Sakura to zip her up, the blonde sighed. "You know, I really wish you'd just forget about him, Forehead. He's certainly shown his true colors, and you deserve so much better than some idiot fuckboy."

" _Pig_ …"

"I know, I know. I don't understand. I don't _really_ know him. I wasn't there. I couldn't _possibly_ imagine. I didn't see his goddamn perfect midnight eyes when he was thrusting madly into you like his life depended on it. You don't have to say it again." She spun Sakura around, eyeing her up and down with that familiar, critical eye. "Just promise me one thing."

Sakura crossed her arms in front of her chest somewhat defensively, cheeks tinted pink from her friend's crudeness. _Really. Did she have to make it all sound so… carnal? It was so unnecessary._ "What's that?"

"If tonight doesn't work out with your beloved jackass… go home with _Shisui_. He's super nice, really considerate, and, well, I'd say _more_ , but you know how I don't like to kiss and tell. Spoils the surprise and all."

 _Ha. A bigger lie had never been spoken_. _Also, Ino was_ really _starting to sound like a broken record_. _Although… maybe she_ did _have a point?_ After all, their lunch on Wednesday _had_ been pretty fun - by far the best date-like activity she'd ever engaged in (which admittedly wasn't saying much) - and Sakura had already confessed _out loud_ that kissing him had been kind of hot. Shisui hadn't managed to ignite quite the same fire that Sasuke's touch had fueled, but he was an extremely good-looking guy and a surprisingly _pleasant_ companion. _And, he was whispered to be one of the best lays in Konoha..._

 _Tsk. Mind out of the gutter, Haruno Sakura._

Now, in her heart of hearts, Sakura wanted things to work out with Sasuke… she _truly_ did. _But if they didn't..._ Well, a part of her felt positively traitorous for even _thinking_ about going home with his cousin. But then there was another, more Ino-like side, that problem-causing Inner who'd tormented her preteen years, who told her that she'd waited long enough. That it was time to put their history behind her, at least for the time being, and see what else Konoha had to offer. _Besides, Sasuke certainly hadn't waited for her. The skills he'd demonstrated in her bedroom last weekend had made_ that _perfectly clear._

Aware that Ino was eyeing her expectantly, Sakura let out a little sigh. "I'll… _think_ about it," she murmured, not quite meeting the woman's ice blue eyes Then, utterly done with Ino's prying and ignoring her smug look, Sakura smoothly changed the subject to one of the few things that she could count on to distract her friend from her love life. "So, tell me. How do you think I should do my hair?"

The pivot an instant success, Ino ushered her into the master bathroom and got to work, Sakura perched on the closed lid of the toilet. After a few minutes of negotiation, they settled on a low updo, soft and simple to show off the "delicate bone structure of your lovely, kissable neck, of course!" The blonde was tucking the last strand of pink hair in place with a skilled twisting motion and a bobby pin - _those were going to_ suck _to take out later_ \- when a little knock came from the bedroom doorway. Ever the loose cannon, Ino smirked at Sakura in the mirror and then called out rather dramatically, "Don't come in, we're completely naked!"

"Ino!" Sakura whispered fiercely, glaring back at her friend's reflection. _Gods, why did she always have to be so embarrassing?_

" _Troublesome_ ," came the one-word reply, a surefire indication of the speaker's identity (not that there'd been a lot of options). "Shisui's here. Thought you'd want to know."

"Ah, perfect. Thanks, Shika-kun!"

At the mention of the Uchiha's name, Sakura suppressed a sudden wave of nervous butterflies that wasn't altogether unpleasant. Despite her attempts to tell herself that nothing had changed between them, she was suddenly feeling rather shy about seeing Shisui again. "Ready to greet your _hot date_ , Sakura-chan?"

"Go to hell, Pig," Sakura replied, hoping to keep the woman unaware of her conflicted feelings via outright surliness. After all, if it worked for Sasuke, why not her too?

"That's the spirit!"

They made their way back out of Ino's bedroom, Sakura grabbing the little silver clutch Ino had lent her to go with her dress, and into the living room. Shisui was seated on the forest-green sofa, clad in what looked to be standard Uchiha clan wear. Tonight's outfit was black on black (such variation from the black and navy of lunch on Wednesday!), and Sakura would bet her life that the too familiar white-and-red _uchiwa_ was splashed proudly across his back.

As they entered, Shisui's lips turned up in a smirk, dark eyes glittering in bemusement. "Ah, well, hopefully I'm not under-dressed. Had I known that this was _that_ kind of party, I would have put in a bit more effort. All that's to say that you look lovely, Sakura-chan, Ino-chan."

"Yes, doesn't she?" Ino gushed, bodily pushing Sakura over towards him with an evil little wink.

 _Meddlesome blonde hellcat_. "Thanks, Shisui-san," Sakura replied, a bit more softly than intended, glancing up at him through her mascara-ed lashes. As she grinned like an idiot, not really sure what else she was supposed to say, she could feel Ino's eyes boring into the back of her head, desperately trying to read her innermost thoughts. She wouldn't _entirely_ put it past her, but the woman usually had enough self control and/or respect for social conventions not to actually use any Yamanaka clan jutsus in social settings. Still, the knowledge that she had an audience, even if it was only Ino, made her feel even more awkward about this whole affair and did _not_ bode well for the rest of the evening.

To her great relief, Shikamaru appeared in the doorway before things could become any more awkward. _Because with Ino assuming the role of matchmaker, they were sure to._ "Well, should we be on our way? It's nine-fifteen. Not that I _care_ , but the party started fifteen minutes ago."

* * *

The Twisted Kunai was one of the largest shinobi bars in town and had been a favorite hangout spot for the Konoha 12 since they'd been old enough to legally drink. Over the years, it had been witness to pretty much every major milestone in their lives, jounin promotion celebrations, birthdays, and engagement parties, and had even served as the official after-party spot following Asuma's and Kurenai's wedding several years ago. The decor wasn't anything particularly fancy - a long, wooden bar, a bunch of booths and tables spread throughout the dark space, and an open area for a dance floor furthest from the door - but the drinks were strong, the music an eclectic mix of new hits and classics, the food suitably greasy, and, most importantly, the company the best in the village.

Shisui's warm left hand gently holding her right one, Sakura surveyed the fringes of the bustling room, quickly scanning the clientele for any and all signs of Sasuke. _It would make her birthday infinitely more enjoyable if they could just get this little farce over and done with while the night was young._ Alas, there was no indication that the younger Uchiha had arrived yet, although she did spot a number of other familiar faces. A sizable cluster of fellow medic-nins from the hospital were gathered together around a large, round table near the door; a smaller group of Ino's T&I colleagues with whom they occasionally got drinks were also nearby; some of the older jounin crew sat up at the bar; and camped out at a large table nearby the sensei group were seven of the Konoha Twelve, Kiba, Hinata, Tenten, Neji, Shino, Lee, and Choji. _Yes, Ino had really outdone herself. The only ones missing were Sasuke and Naruto._

While she wished it were otherwise, it wasn't all that much of a shock that the former hadn't shown up yet. Ever the overachiever, Sasuke was usually early for missions, training sessions, and medical appointments, but he'd never exactly been punctual when it came to social events, and the more people he knew would be attending, the later he tended to arrive (if he even bothered showing up at all, which was rare of late). Sakura had initially chalked this discrepancy up to plain old rudeness, but several months of careful observation a few years ago had led her to an extremely different, far more surprising conclusion. Sasuke was _shy_. Or, more accurately, the large, usually rambunctious gatherings of their friends made him rather uncomfortable, and, so, he minimized his time in attendance to the extent that she and Naruto let him. _But tonight... he had to show his face. Even though he'd_ obviously _been avoiding her all week, surely, he wouldn't skip out tonight?_

On the other hand, Naruto's absence was much more unusual. In stark contrast to his best friend, the blonde was usually the life of the party, most often among the first to arrive and the last to leave. And to pass on _his Sakura-chan's_ birthday… well, Naruto would _never._ Unless he had a very good rationale. And Sakura suspected that, in his mind, her sudden fling with Uchiha Shisui was reason enough.

If she hadn't been so nervous in the sushi bar on Wednesday, Naruto's look of complete and utter fish-faced shock upon realizing which Uchiha he was so resoundingly thumping on the back would have been positively hysterical. His resultant horror and protestations hadn't been particularly surprising. After all, he'd been campaigning hard for she and Sasuke to get together pretty much from the day he'd realized that he was in love with Hinata and was extremely well-informed of her forever crush on Sasuke given their years together on Team 7. Indeed, from Naruto's perspective, it probably seemed like she'd gone crazy. _But Naruto didn't know the half of it. Nor should he. And_ boycotting _her birthday over something that was seriously_ none _of his business seemed pretty damn excessive._ And an exceedingly _punch-able_ offense, if he didn't watch his back...

"Buy you a drink?" Shisui asked her casually, the perfectly attentive, doting date, although she noticed that his voice had tensed slightly, as if sensing that her mind had wandered off in a less-than-constructive direction. _Hm… or maybe it was the death grip she had on his hand. Whoops._ Sakura nodded - a good, stiff drink sounded like a _superb_ idea, actually - and Shisui led her over to the jounin sensei group (in a row, Asuma, Kurenai Genma, Shizune, Guy, Yamato, and Kakashi) for a quick hello. As they approached, she realized that thirteen eyes were glued on their linked hands, causing their owners to resemble a bunch of gossipy chunin teens. _Oh gods. Not her teenage years again. This was going to be even_ more _awkward than she'd anticipated, wasn't it?_

Ever the big mouth, Genma broke the ice with a rather roguish wink in the Uchiha's direction. "Well, well, what _have_ we here? Is this truly the death knell of the legendary _Shunshin no Shisui's_ blissful life of perpetual single-dom? At the very least, this certainly explains Tuesday night's behavior. Declining a solid eight like that redhead had seemed positively criminal _to me_ , but it appears you had your reasons, eh Shi?"

Shisui chuckled good-naturedly while Sakura mentally scolded herself for frowning at the knowledge that some redhead had eye-fucked her fake date. _It was so, utterly none of her business, and she would do well to remember that._ Shizune knocked her husband in the arm with a rather severe glare. " _Really_. Play _nicely_ now, Genma." Then, turning her attention outward, she gave Sakura a wide smile that failed to entirely mask her curiosity. "Sakura-chan, many happy returns! This is certainly a… surprise!"

"Indeed, happy birthday, Sakura-chan," came Kakashi's slow, quiet rumble from his seat on the end next to Yamato. "You know, it appears that Naruto's intelligence was more accurate than I gave him credit for."

"Where is Naruto, actually?" Sakura asked, fighting hard to keep her tone casual. Kakashi hadn't been her sensei in well over a decade, but there was still some latent little genin buried deep within her subconscious that quaked in fear at the prospect of even attempting to lie to him. _That seemingly mild-mannered stare of his was just so, deceptively intimidating…_ and _he'd always had a knack for seeing through her._

Kakashi shrugged in feigned disinterest, although she could tell from the way he was watching her over his little glass of amber liquid that he too was intrigued by recent developments. "Your guess as to his current whereabouts is as good as mine. You may be _interested_ to hear that he was hanging around the Sensei last night, though. Going on about kicking Uchiha ass and preserving virtue… all given names redacted, so you can let him live. Admittedly, I'd dismissed the virtue comment as one of his more _creative_ outbursts and assumed that the Uchiha in question was your other former teammate given their history. It seems I may have been... _mistaken_ on both accounts, neh?"

 _Umm... what was Naruto doing talking openly about her_ virginity _on a Friday night in some sketchy jounin bar?_ It was most definitely a relief to hear that he had _some_ modicum of discretion, but still _._ What if someone guessed? Their friendship was pretty universally known after all, as was her association with Sasuke. _Baka. He would_ pay _for this._

As for how to handle her ex-sensei and his prying, well, there was absolutely _no way_ that she was going to engage in a conversation with Kakashi about her suddenly fascinating dating and sex life on her birthday in a different (albeit, less sketchy) bar. Or anyplace, ever, for that matter. The Copy Ninja knew an awful lot about her, but he definitely didn't need to hear about that. _Disengaging herself could prove a bit tricky, though, particularly given that fixed look in his eye… hm..._

Very fortunately, a tall, dark shadow chose that moment to shunshin in from down at the other end of the counter, proffering a bright-orange glass that she recognized immediately as a much-needed mango margarita. "Here we are, Sakura-chan. I seem to recall you saying that I just had to give one of these a try during lunch on Wednesday." _Thank Kami for Shisui and his impeccable timing._

 _Also… he remembered!_

Smiling a bit too widely at the welcome interruption, Sakura quickly commandeered her beverage and took a hearty sip, savoring the taste of sweet, fruity nirvana mingled with the welcome sting of tequila. Shisui snaked his free arm around her waist in a manner that made her shiver rather pleasantly, nodding amiably at Kakashi. "Now, not to be rude to good, old _senpai_ here, but shall we continue making the rounds, birthday girl? Lots of people to see!" He gave her a wink, and Sakura nodded happily, eager to escape Kakashi's prying eye. "We'll catch up with you later, Kakashi-san." The silver-haired jounin, however, in what Sakura very much suspected was a fake-out, had already turned his attention away from them completely, utterly absorbed in some absurdity from Guy about the youthfulness of new love.

"Thanks," Sakura murmured under her breath as Shisui steered her loosely in the direction of the Konoha Twelve table.

He grinned knowingly. "Ah, don't mention it. Leaving you to fend for yourself against the infamous Copy Ninja and his finely honed ANBU interrogative skills seemed too cruel. Besides, I'm afraid his rampant curiosity may be at least partially my fault. We've been spending a lot of _quality time_ together lately."

"Oh?"

Shisui chuckled, shaking his curly head cutely. _Not that she had any reason to notice._ "You certainly had Naruto's number. That blonde hellion you call an ex-teammate tried to break into my apartment hours after our date on Wednesday, just as I was sitting down to dinner, hollering something about keeping my _ero_ -hands to my _ero_ -self. I'm not sure I've ever shunshinned out of anyplace so fast in my life. Anyway, given the seemingly real threat of having my head taken off by a Rasengan in my sleep, I've been crashing at Kakashi's since."

"You're staying with… _Kaka-sensei?_ I've never even been inside his apartment before. How did you ever manage _that_?" Sakura asked, trying to ignore her growing irritation with just how far Naruto was apparently willing to meddle in her affairs. _Yes, all joking aside, it appeared that_ someone _needed another little demonstration of just how capable she was of protecting herself. When would he_ learn _? Then again, on the plus side, he_ was _loyal, even if he had utterly no sense of boundaries..._

"I took a play out of your sensei's own book. Fed him some cock-and-bull story about my condo needing to be fumigated due to a mosquito infestation. In March. _Obviously_. There's no way he believed it - you should have seen the eye roll - but given all the shit _he's_ made up over the years, he didn't really have much of a choice."

Sakura chuckled despite her embarrassment at so fully disrupting the Uchiha's hard-earned time off. He was putting up with an awful lot for her, and it raised the rather intriguing question of _why_. After all, up until Wednesday, she'd been little more than his personal medic. Their rapport had been perfectly _pleasant_ , but they hadn't exactly been close. "Shisui, what _did_ you do to Ino to get stuck in this situation? Surely, it wasn't anything that could have warranted, well, _this_."

"Ah, don't worry about it _,_ Sakura-chan. Ancient history," Shisui replied with a vague smile, taking a long sip of his own drink. "Besides, the assignment's not _all_ bad. Sasuke can be a little shit, but I do want to see him happy, and I'm actually crazy enough to believe that this might just work out if we play our cards right. If he's capable of allowing himself to take his head out of his ass, that is." Then, his smile shifted into a decidedly attractive smirk. "But, _far_ _more importantly_ , I get to pretend-date an _exceedingly_ pretty woman." He cocked an eyebrow in Sakura's direction, and she felt her cheeks warming under his gaze. "You were right about the margarita, by the way. Delicious and smooth… but _extremely_ dangerous."

 _Hm... dangerously smooth. Why did she feel like he wasn't talking_ just _about his drink?_

Evidently noticing that she seemed a bit… _distracted_ by his words, Shisui steered her the rest of the way to the Konoha 12 tables and pulled out the empty seat next to Ino for her. As Sakura plopped down with an awkward little "thank you," Shisui grinned and murmured something about finding her a refill. _Probably for the best. After all, this was shaping up to be one confusing night, and she could use all the liquid fortification she could get_.

Sakura sat quietly, absorbing the assorted greetings and birthday wishes from her companions and trying to give her head some time to cool down a bit. Then, as Shisui returned with her refreshed glass and settled into the empty seat on her other side, Ino turned her attention away from Shikamaru and Choji with a bright smile. She was clutching a vividly blue cocktail and already seemed more than a little tipsy. _Which meant trouble._ For the blonde liked to talk a big game, but she'd always been a bit of a lightweight. At least compared with Sakura and the tolerance she'd for-better-or-for-worse inherited from her _Shishou._ "Shi-kun! So good of you to join us! Are you and Sak having _fun together_?" Blonde eyebrows waggled suggestively, and Sakura busied herself with her margarita, studiously avoiding eye contact. "Pretty good crowd, right? Hopefully, those assholes at the bar didn't give you too much trouble." She shot a decidedly icy glare at the back of Genma's head. "You know, Sak, I don't know _how_ Shizune puts up with _him_."

"Eh, you know, the usual ribbing. Nothing I can't handle." Shisui shrugged, left arm wrapping itself around Sakura's shoulders in a telling proclamation that they were very much an item. At _that_ , Sakura could feel the assorted eyes of her friends suddenly drifting over her: Neji and Shino impassive as always, Choji somewhat befuddled, Hinata politely neutral, Tenten surprised but seemingly impressed (she even mouthed something that looked an awful lot like "get some, girl!"), Lee absurdly crestfallen (Sakura prayed for Shisui's sake that the beverage he was clutching was only fruit juice), and Kiba exceedingly curious.

While no wallflower, Sakura was definitely _not_ used to being the central object of interest among her friend group - that was usually Ino's, Naruto's, and/or Kiba's roles - and she didn't exactly relish the sensation. Particularly given that every bit of it was a lie. _And_ that she was feeling increasingly conflicted about this whole Uchiha conundrum that her blonde friend had created. For Ino's little suggestion about going home with Shisui earlier that night was starting to look more and more attractive as the minutes ticked by and the Uchiha that she'd _most_ wanted to see at the start of the evening stayed tucked away in whichever clan hideout he'd cloistered himself in. _Shisui was just so considerate. So personable. So mature. So easy to get on with. So… not Sasuke. Ugh._

Far too quickly, Sakura finished up her drink, Shisui darted off to the bar to get her a third round ( _yes, there were definite positives to this whole_ dating _thing)_ , and the conversation around the table immediately turned to all things Uchiha, mostly courtesy of an eager-eyed Tenten. "So, Sakura, spill. Uchiha _Shisui_? You lucky duck. He's _such_ a dreamboat," she gushed. At that, the Hyuuga male to her left sat up a touch straighter in his seat, pale eyes turning on her with a surprising amount of heat. _Who knew that Hyuuga Neji had it in him to look so jealous._ "As are you, of course, Neji, dear," the brunette added quickly with a sunny smile and a reassuring pat on the hand. "Now, tell us how this all went down, Sakura. Was this why you were so loopy at brunch last weekend?"

Sakura chuckled in feigned amusement, looking down at her empty glass to avoid the curious stares and buy herself time to craft some sort of believable lie. The tension was palpable… it was kind of hard to tell given the dark lenses of his ever-present glasses, but even Shino seemed to be expectantly awaiting her answer. "You _know_ , it kind of just happened. Shisui's been one of my jounin patients for years, so I already knew him pretty well. We got talking after one of his recent appointments and really clicked, he invited me out to lunch at this new sushi place nearby that we were both itching to try, and, well, here we are! Not much more to it!" _Yes, that was good. Some of it was even the truth. Sort of._ At least it was more believable than any excuse that had ever come out of Kakashi's mouth. _Which, admittedly, wasn't saying much._

Her friends seemed convinced, with several nodding and Tenten giving her a thumbs up. Then, Kiba let out a barking laugh into his beer, his brown eyes sparkling as he turned his attention to the be-jumpsuited man to his right. "So _that_ was all it took, huh? Hear that, Lee? Given the whole taijutsu and medical ninjutsu combo, we should have realized that the quickest way to Sakura's heart was _getting a physical_."

Despite her nerves, Sakura couldn't help but roll her eyes. _She'd forgotten how positively horrendous Kiba's attempts at humor could be._

Lee shook his head, clearly beside himself with woe, but Hinata studiously jumped in before he could go too far off on his painful tangent about "eternally beloved cherry blossoms."

"Kiba-kun, Lee-kun, stop it. Sakura-chan and Shisui-kun make a _lovely_ couple." The woman gave her former teammate a long look that Sakura supposed was an admonishment (Hinata was never very good at them). "Naruto-kun and I ran into them while they were on their date on Wednesday. It was very sweet."

"It's just so _surprising_ though, Sakura," Tenten added, absentmindedly twirling her little cocktail straw as if it were a senbon. "I mean, I'm super happy for you, don't get me wrong. But I just thought for sure that you were waiting for Sas -"

"HEY! You know what would be fun? If we all went dancing!" Ino might have been buzzed, but she apparently wasn't drunk enough to lose her nose for danger and had evidently decided that whatever Tenten was about to say called for a Serious Diversion. After hitting the rather nonplussed weapons mistress with a grade A glare, she scrambled somewhat ungracefully to her feet, hauling Sakura up with her. "Come on, Shika-kun! And none of your 'dancing is _troublesome_ ' nonsense this time around. I know you _love_ it."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes, but he seemed to know what was best for him, for he slowly stood and permitted Ino to take him by the hand that wasn't currently occupied with Sakura. "Kiba? Hinata? Tenten? Choji? Let's move people!"

And with that, the table (with the exception of Shino, who didn't dance, no matter what mental tortures Ino threatened him with), led by a prancing Yamanaka, relocated to the crowded dance floor, claiming a coveted space near the center thanks to some well-administered jostling by their fearless leader. Tenten and Ino quickly wrangled their reluctant men into submission (it was hard to say whether Shikamaru or Neji looked more unenthused), while Sakura bopped around with Hinata for a time, doing her best to avoid Kiba's far too interested side eye (it appeared that things with the new girlfriend had already fizzled out) and Lee's spastic flailing of limbs. Despite her many years of training and her talent for taijutsu, Sakura had never exactly been much of a dancer. That being said, losing herself in the music was actually kind of _fun_ tonight. _Or maybe the was the liquor talking…_

Speaking of liquor… as the music switched over to a slower, decidedly couple-y song, Hinata murmured something about "keeping Shino-kun company for a little while" and the engaged couples drifted further into the crowd, clearly in search of some privacy. Sakura took a step after Hinata, suddenly _extremely_ aware of the eager look that Lee was giving her (Kiba had apparently wandered off, probably to seduce some other poor, unsuspecting kunoichi); however, a gentle hand on her shoulder stopped her departure from the dance floor. "There we are, Sakura-chan. Did you miss me?"

"Shisui! Yes, actually." She blushed, and he returned her wide-eyed gaze with a smile, dark eyes sparkling rather wickedly. Glancing down in vague embarrassment, she realized that the Uchiha was holding two shot glasses accompanied by a couple of lime wedges.

Shisui chuckled at being caught red handed. _He was pretty cute like that, actually... it was hard to believe he was only a few years younger than Kakashi._ "Fancy a shot? Hopefully, this isn't horribly forward of me. You seemed to have a taste for tequila, so I took a risk. Not to be a cheapskate, but given that we're now three drinks in, I thought it would be best if we simply cut out the middleman and got serious, as it were."

 _Oh, yes. It was definitely time to get serious._ He proffered her one of the glasses, and Sakura knocked it back quickly, the alcohol burning her throat in a mostly good way. Raw liquor wasn't _really_ her thing, but Shisui was buying, and it wasn't like she'd never done one before. After all, with Senju Tsunade at the helm, hospital happy hours and holiday parties tended to get more than a little rowdy. _And she could certainly use it._ Although, she was starting to feel rather better about the course that this evening was taking. The room was warm, everyone around her was happy, the music was soft and slow, and Shisui was… _dancing with her?_

 _Well, that_ was _what people usually did when they went on evening dates to bars_. His warm hands had migrated to her hips, inspiring a funny feeling around her navel as they gently guided her to move with the beat. Smiling up at his somewhat distant expression in a silent confirmation that she was very much on board with this activity, Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing their torsos slightly closer together as her fingers tangled their way into his dark, curly hair. He smelled like a surprisingly pleasant combination of tequila, mint, and fire - the last of the three seemed to be a clan-wide attribute - and she breathed him in with a satisfied little sigh.

Thoughts beginning to turn hazy as they swayed together, she found her mind drifting once again back to her conversation with Ino from earlier on in the evening. _Go home with Shisui... hm… maybe she just would._ After all, it was probably almost eleven now, and Sasuke still hadn't even bothered showing his face. _It was becoming increasingly clear..._

 _No. It wasn't_ increasingly _clear._ It was as clear a signal as Uchiha Sasuke had _ever_ given. She'd just been too dumb to realize. But now, in Shisui's arms… _she understood._ Just like Ino had warned her, the night that had meant so much to her was just another notch in Sasuke's bedpost. He'd shown up in her apartment for a spot of healing, decided he was horny and that she'd do in a pinch (the virginity thing probably seemed like some sort of sick bonus), and then left when he'd had his fill. _Ugh!_ And, to think, like a little lovesick idiot, she'd spent _years_ of her life pining after him and idolizing him as the One.

 _What. A. Waste._

And now? Well, it was time to brush herself off and pick up the pieces. It hurt, but she wouldn't cry or mope or even do him the decency of punching him. _No. He wasn't worth it. Any of it._ She would just move on. Starting _tonight._ And, Ino, bless her conniving little heart, had left her with the perfect man to kick things off with...

Shisui's lips had migrated to her left ear, and Sakura shivered at the sensation of his hot breath, turned on despite the anger coursing through her veins. "Everything going alright in there, Sakura-chan? You, ah, stopped dancing a minute or two ago."

Sakura looked up, heart beating furiously. _He was considerate, kind, and sexy to boot. Yes, Haruno Sakura would_ definitely not _be going home alone tonight._ "I'm… _fine_ , Shisui. _Good_ , actually. Never been better." _She had to tell him. Now._ "I was thinking about everything that's happened -"

"Yes, tequila is a wonderful stimulant for the mind, isn't it?"

"Shisui-kun, please don't interrupt. This is important. I was thinking about everything. About Sasuke, about you, our date, the past week. And I've come to a conclusion."

"What's that?" Shisui asked, his voice low and effortlessly sexy. _Oh, did she look forward to hearing that tone in a more..._ intimate _setting..._

In the background, Sakura was dimly aware that the music had changed to an upbeat rock song that Ino rather liked. Something vaguely metaphorical about taking someone home and engaging in an extremely dirty game of Twister between the sheets. _How appropriate._ Shisui's hands were on her hips, guiding her to slide rather suggestively up against him, and she responded in kind with a smile that she prayed was more seductive than pissed about Sasuke's betrayal. Unsurprisingly, Shisui's body was positively _sinful_ , all masculine hardness and muscle, and the way his pelvis moved was a tantalizing glimpse into her very near future. It was all _exceedingly_ distracting, particularly when combined with her anger, the tequila, the crowd, and the music, but Sakura struggled to hold onto her words, not wanting there to be any confusion in his mind as to where they were headed. Rising up on tiptoes so that her lips were as close to his right ear as she could reach, Sakura shut her eyes, drawing on every bit of liquor that she had imbibed, and whispered hotly, " _Shisui_ , I want _you_ to take me home, to your apartment. _Now_. And I want _you_ to fu -"

 _Wait. Why was he kissing her_ now _? That was supposed to happen_ after _she told him her intentions!_ Sakura tried to detach her lips from Shisui's, but he was too quick for her, right hand sliding smoothly up her spine to the back of her neck, holding her rather firmly in place. "Sakura," he murmured, his lips moving against hers at a surprisingly unhurried pace given how much she wanted him. "Sasuke is _here_. And he's watching us _now_. Play along."

Sakura snarled in frustration, but Shisui wouldn't let her go. _Why did he have to show up_ now _? Right when she'd_ finally _figured it all out. He was actually the worst._ "Shisui, listen to me. I don't _fucking care_ about Sasuke any-"

"Ah, but Sakura-chan," came the soft, slow reply, "I think _you do_. You know, I was a bit worried that this might happen..."

 _WHAT?_ She could feel his smirk against her lips, and it _infuriated_ her. _He had no idea. He barely even_ knew _her._ Overpowering his grip with a bit of channeled chakra, Sakura emphatically yanked her lips away from her companion's, glaring up at him in white-hot rage. "I do _not._ I've made up my mind, and I want _you,_ Shisui. _Listen to me._ I want _you_ to take me home tonight to… to make me _yours_ … to _fuck_ me until -"

"Until you forget, neh?" Shisui finished gently, drawing her back towards him and kissing her softly on the forehead in a surprisingly tender gesture that she found herself loathing. "You want me to make you forget him. But I can't, and, being a smart woman, I suspect you already know that. I could certainly _try_ \- and I'll admit that the proposition is exceedingly tempting to my less… _conscientious_ side - but it won't work, whatever you may have heard about my, ah, talents in the bedroom." He grinned rather ruefully, and Sakura flushed in vague embarrassment, knowing _exactly_ which rumors he was talking about. "One night with me isn't going to do a damn thing to erase a fifteen-year history. Sakura-chan, you need to talk to him. My cousin's a foolish little asshole, and I'm not saying you should _forgive_ him so easily. Or ever, if you see fit. But he's also a decent man at heart. And, well, I don't want to ruin the surprise, but I think you'll be pleas -"

"Sakura."

A dark, familiar voice murmured her name from a few feet behind her, and her blood ran cold in recognition. Rather numbly letting go of Shisui - or perhaps he released her; it was difficult to say _-_ Sakura slowly turned to find herself staring up at the handsome, painfully familiar face and deep-red Sharingan eyes of the man she'd been by turns desiring, hating, loving, and mourning for the past seven days. He scanned her face impassively, the furrowing of his brow as he wet his lips the only sign that he was anything other than the cold, composed shinobi he'd painstakingly trained himself to be. "Sakura, I need to speak with you. Now."

Sakura frowned, a venom of anger, humiliation, and frustration coursing through her veins. _Who was he to command her like -_

"Sakura. _Please_."

 _Please._ The music blared around them, the crowd of drunken shinobi writhing together on the dance floor, the smell of alcohol and sweat heavy on the air. But Sakura's mind had carried her far away from the bar as she contemplated the man before her… their history, their years together with Naruto and Kakashi on Team 7, how they'd come to understand and _respect_ one another, growing up together as colleagues, teammates, friends… moving slowly towards what she'd hoped would one day be _more_.

That was, until early Sunday morning, when he'd seemingly, unfathomably thrown away all of it. _But she wouldn't let him. Shisui was right; She couldn't just walk away now. At least, not quite so easily._ Decision made and jaw clenching with determination, Sakura squared her shoulders and stared directly into her companion's eyes, the three-pronged tomoe swirling dangerously. _Desperately._ "All right, Sasuke-kun. Let's talk."


	6. Sasuke's Epiphany

_[AN: So sorry to leave you hanging! I was visiting family last weekend, so had less time than usual to write. Also, this chapter ended up being crazy long and a bit of a wild ride, so it took longer than usual to throw together. Thanks so much for bearing with me and for all of the follows, favorites, and comments! Curious to see the thoughts on this one... it was decision time, so hopefully you enjoy my direction (or at least understand where I'm coming from!). I'm also hoping that I didn't go_ too _terribly out of character... this is a non-massacre AU where everyone is a bit more well-adjusted, so I did take some artistic license. As usual, this content is most definitely rated M for copious quantities of alcohol, relationship angst, language, and mature content, and I have no ownership whatsoever of Naruto. Also, for readers who are wondering about my other in-progress story... I am planning on returning to it... hopefully soon!]_

 _Lay fucking low. Well, someone had certainly had_ him _figured out to a T, now, hadn't he?_

Just last Sunday, Sasuke had taken Shisui's advice on his Sakura situation as an act of infinite charity and wisdom, the sort of thing that a well-meaning, loyal older cousin would and should bestow on his younger relation. Clearly, he had been woefully wrong and grievously misled. For where had laying low gotten him? Drunk on cheap whiskey and seated at a shitty table for two in the Twisted Kunai with a pissed-off jinchuuriki and a ringside view to the dance floor where said cousin was currently, by the looks of it, doing his damnedest to take home the woman of _Sasuke's_ dreams, knowing full well how he felt and apparently not giving a shit about it.

As Shisui's stupid, handsome face ducked down to plant a hot kiss on those luscious pink lips that should have been _his_ , hips lewdly grinding themselves into Sakura's eager little frame, the man's eyes momentarily met his own with an all-too-knowing glint, and Sasuke felt his Sharingan swing into overdrive. _Damn him to fucking hell. To think that Shisui was supposed to be the_ nice _Uchiha. The_ sensitive _Uchiha._ How had he never realized what a total, conniving asshole his cousin really was? _So much for familial loyalty._ Also, this was the last time he _ever_ listened to Shisui. Which made sense, actually, because the slippery, manipulative bastard was so, very dead. This time, for _real_.

He took a long sip of his drink, steeling himself for what he needed to do. _As always, Itachi was right. He was_ such _a fool._ To think that just a week ago, he'd been sitting on Sakura's bed, watching her run a vibrator over her forehead while contemplating the best way of cluing her in to the dual facts that (1) he wasn't born yesterday, and (2) she should just put the goddamn sex toy down and kiss him senseless already. To have fallen so far in the course of a week… how _had_ it come to this?

* * *

Like a good little sucker, he'd followed orders pretty much to the letter after his Naruto-directed shopping excursion on Sunday. With Sakura's birthday present obtained and a week on injured reserve thanks to his head - which was totally _fine_ for the record; the whole concussion protocol thing was _such_ overkill - he'd settled himself in for a quiet period at home with his wonderful parents, doing his damnedest to ignore his father's ever-present, usually silent disapproval for failing to be Itachi and his mother's constant commentary about girlfriends and weddings and grandchildren and not getting any younger.

It was all fairly dull, particularly when compared with the steady flow of jounin and ANBU missions that had been his diet since turning eighteen, but he really hadn't minded as Monday had bled into Tuesday and Tuesday to Wednesday. After all, his father's library possessed a veritable wealth of shinobi and clan tomes that he'd barely begun to make a dent in, the clearing behind the house had always been his favorite place for honing his shurikenjutsu anyway, and there was definitely something to be said for getting regular, home-cooked meals and a solid eight to nine hours of sleep on a consistent basis in an actual bed that was his own. Yes, minus his overbearing parents; a certain, nagging guilt about where he'd left things with Sakura; and, extremely perversely given said guilt, the lack of female companionship of the pink-haired variety (he'd woken up Tuesday night with a rather uncomfortable hard-on from a dream involving a routine physical at the hospital that had quickly turned X rated and hadn't quite been able to put it out of his head since), the whole laying low thing suited him quite well, actually.

That was, until Wednesday afternoon when his blissful little vacation started to come crashing down, thanks, seemingly as always, to the interference of good, old Uzumaki Naruto.

After joining his mother for a nice, light lunch of salmon, greens, and rice with a side-helping of guilt for "not bringing that lovely Haruno Sakura around the compound _nearly_ enough, Sasuke-kun. You know she's always been such a wonderful friend and teammate to you, and it would really do you good to _reciprocate_ her hospitality some of the time," Sasuke had headed out back for some much-needed target practice to clear his head and escape the well-intentioned Mikoto. He'd been working out for about forty-five minutes and was getting into some of his more intricate variations when a loud "TEME!" clued him into the exceedingly unfortunate fact that he had company. Of the obnoxiously loud, decidedly annoying, and vibrantly day-glow sort.

Hanging upside down in midair with his Sharingan activated, Sasuke watched in bemused trepidation as a flash of blonde, orange, and black entered the clearing, coming to a standstill in the very center. Something had apparently spooked the man, for his chakra flow was exceedingly out of whack, and he'd been running for some time, at least judging from the sweat on his brow and the heavy breathing. Knowing Naruto, it was probably something inane, like that time a couple of years ago that old man Teuchi had gone on vacation for a week and closed up shop. And after the lecture from his mother less than an hour ago about the very kunoichi he'd been trying (and failing) to put out of his head since Saturday, he was definitely _not_ in the mood for the idiot's nonsense.

Twisting around to land on his feet, Sasuke shot Naruto a cool smirk, unable to entirely ignore the fact that he'd _totally_ just bulls-eyed all eight of the kunai he'd released on that last volley despite the sudden distraction. _Who's perfect now, nii-san?_

" _Dobe_. Go away. I'm _busy_."

Bright blue eyes narrowed rather angrily at that. "Sasuke, this is _important_. And you're definitely going to want to hear me out, _dattebayo_! It's about Sakura-chan. She's in danger!"

 _Oh for the love of Kami. Seriously, why did everyone have to_ constantly _come running to him about Sakura these days?_ Naruto… his mother… the Hokage himself… even his father had rather uncharacteristically gotten in on the act last night with some vague question about her current rank in the hospital system (she was Assistant Director of Patient Affairs and Chief Physician on the General Ward, reporting directly to the esteemed Senju Tsunade herself, not that he kept tabs on her career or promotions or anything like that). Really, it was starting to feel like he was wearing some sort of sign the said "yes, I totally did sleep with Sakura and would absolutely _love_ to hear about her life, thanks so much for asking."

Deactivating his _Kekkei Genkai_ since training time was apparently over - one look at the blonde's determined face told him that there was no way Naruto was going to leave him in peace - Sasuke busied himself with beginning to collect the kunai he'd scattered around the clearing. He seriously doubted that Sakura was in any _real_ danger. After all, as far as he knew, the medic hadn't been out on a mission in over a year, the village had been at peace since Itachi smoothed over tensions between the clan and the village back before he and Sakura were even genin ( _really, how was he supposed to compete with_ that _?_ _)_ , and the hospital where she was currently working (because he _might_ have memorized her shift schedule a few years ago… for his own healthcare purposes, obviously) was debatably the safest place in Konoha. All that being said, he was kind of... curious. As a former teammate.

"What's wrong with Sakura?" Not wishing for Naruto to even begin to think that he in any way _cared_ , he keep his eyes focused completely on his current task of pulling a particularly firmly embedded kunai out of a target fifteen feet up a tree trunk.

"Well, it's a long story." _Wasn't it always?_ "You see, Hinata and me get lunch every Wednesday. Every Wednesday that we're both in town and not doing anything else, that is. Like a date, you know? So anyway, there's this new sushi spot that opened a few weeks ago. Near the hospital. Have you heard about it yet? Probably not, 'cause you're out of town so much doing Kami knows what. It's gotten all sorts of good reviews, but _I'd_ give it seven out of ten. Solid if you're in the neighborhood but nothing to _really_ go too out of your way for, ya know? Although the miso soup was pretty good, and they had this awesome -"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the _extremely_ painful yammering. Story-time with Uzumaki Naruto was always _such_ a production, particularly when food was involved. " _Dobe_. Get to the _point_."

"I'm getting there, _teme_. So, anyway, Hinata and me went by there for lunch this afternoon. Around one, I think, but I'm not really sure. But yeah, so we were walking by and I saw _you_ sitting in the window! Or, at least, I thought it was you 'cause, you know, you were wearing an Uchiha shirt and sitting with Sakura and feeding her a shrimp. It was real adorable, _teme_. Hinata thought so too."

 _Okay, right, that made sense. Well, except for the minor wrinkle that he hadn't actually_ been _anywhere near the hospital in a good three weeks and most definitely hadn't gone out to lunch with any pink-haired medics lately. Or_ ever _done anything nearly as cutesy as fed someone a shrimp. Seriously. Who even_ did _that?_ "Naruto, what _are_ you talking about?"

"Don't _rush_ me, Sasuke. I said I'm getting there! So, we went in, and I went over to where you and Sakura were sitting to say hi, because I thought to myself 'oh look, _teme_ 's made up with Sakura-chan!' Except, well, it wasn't you, actually. It was Shisui."

 _Shisui. That was… weird._ Very _weird. Why was his cousin having lunch with Sakura? As far as he knew, they weren't friends._ Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the blonde, a prickle of some foreign emotion he didn't care to identify running up his spine. "So?"

"Sooo... I confronted her about it. Ya know, cause what was _she_ doing with him, right? And, well, Sakura-chan said she was, well, she was… uh..." Naruto looked rather stricken all of a sudden, scratching the back of his head in that way he always did when he was nervous.

" _Dobe_ , get _on_ with it," Sasuke growled, jumping down from the tree in which he was currently perched to land next to his friend, his curiosity peaked.

"Well, don't _Chidori_ the messenger, _teme_ , but… she _said_ she was on a date. With, _uh_ , your cousin."

Sasuke blinked uncomprehendingly at the blonde before him.

"Look, I'm… _sorry_ , Sasuke. I tried to tell her off for it, I really did. But Hinata, well, she wouldn't let me. She said I was being _inappropriate._ "

 _Shisui… had gone out with_ Sakura _._ Surely, this had to be some sort of mistake on Naruto's part. After all, there was a reason why he'd long ago nicknamed him "the dobe." "Okay."

" _Okay_? Sasuke, you realize that this is _Sakura-chan_ we're talking about… and your cousin. You, uh, know about his reputation, right? How he's popular with the ladies?"

Sasuke shrugged. "So? I'm sure it was a... medical consultation lunch date or something. A lunch date... like an appointment. You must have misread the situation." _Sakura would never. Nor would Shisui, for that matter._ After all, he'd confided in his cousin about his whole situation just over seventy-two hours ago, and the man had been _exceedingly_ helpful. Positively fraternal. Telling him to lay low and give Sakura space because he definitely didn't want her thinking that he _cared_ about her in any… _hn. Now that he thought about it, Shisui had been rather_ interested _in hearing about how Sakura had been in bed. And hadn't he said that he'd thought about the kunoichi in that way too? Perhaps, this required a bit of low-key investigating_ …

But there was no need to alarm Naruto. After all, the last thing he needed from the blonde was more probing questions about their female ex-teammate. He'd already had enough of that on Sunday. "I'll plan on speaking to Shisui about it tomorrow or Friday. He's supposed to come over for a spar once I'm cleared for active training."

Naruto frowned at that, hands resting obstinately on his hips. " _Teme!_ Tomorrow might be too late though, _dattebayo_! This is Shisui we're talking about. He tends to work, uh… _fast_ , you know. He's called _Shunshin no Shisui_ for a reason, neh? And they were looking _really_ friendly, if you know what I mean. With the shrimp and everything; you should've seen it! I'm telling you Sasuke, we have to protect Sakura-chan's virtue!"

"Sakura's perfectly capable of taking care of herself, _dobe_ ," Sasuke replied evenly, studiously keeping a neutral face at the reference to Sakura's "virtue." It was the truth, too. With her aptitude for taijutsu and her chakra-enhanced strength, the woman made for one scary kunoichi on and off the battlefield. It was one of the things he loved most about her, actually. _Platonically._

But Naruto, being Naruto, hadn't entirely gotten used to the idea that Sakura was no longer twelve and helpless (in truth, the blonde had a bit of an insufferable hero complex and seemed to think that _everyone_ needed protecting). And so, he'd ranted and raved for another half-an-hour until Sasuke was thoroughly sick of him and been forced to resort to lying about needing to head off to an Uchiha clan meeting and maybe, _just maybe_ , mentioned the address of his cousin's apartment. Which was a bit of a dirty move, but deserved. _After all, Shisui_ had _been the one to mention to his mother that he'd spent the night at Sakura's last weekend._

As anticipated, it did the trick admirably. The blonde was off like a shot, and Sasuke was left in peace, although he wasn't able to entirely shake the suspicion that something strange was afoot.

And so, Thursday afternoon, following a midday check-up at the hospital for his head - which had been pretty uncomfortable, actually; he'd forgotten how invasive it felt to have anyone other than Sakura poke around his body - Sasuke casually swung by Shisui's apartment, only to find the door locked and his cousin apparently absent. He'd done his best to shrug it off, but the unease grew as Thursday became Friday and his cousin failed to show up for their weekly spar and dinner. It was that night that shit truly hit the _uchiwa_ , this time courtesy of his mother. He was halfway through his seared tuna, reveling in the silence and the fact that his father had opted to take dinner in his study, when Mikoto apparently decided it was time for some mother-son chit-chat. "So, Sasuke-kun, have you seen Sakura-chan lately?"

Nonplussed, Sasuke glanced up at the woman somewhat suspiciously. _Not this again._ His kaa-san had always been exceedingly fond of his pink-haired teammate, and he'd long ago gotten more-or-less used to her prying questions (although they'd been particularly difficult to swallow this past week due to _recent_ events). But he picked up on a bit of a different tone in her voice tonight. It was kind of… _sad_ , actually, inspiring a rather uncomfortable flip-flopping in his gut. "No. Why?"

Mikoto looked down, idly picking at the steamed vegetables on her plate with her chopsticks. "Oh, no reason. It's just, well, I was speaking with Uruchi-san this afternoon, and Sakura-chan's name came up. Apparently, she went out on a date with your cousin earlier this week… Shisui. I know your cousin is… _fickle_ , but it sounded pretty serious for him. I'd been hoping to ask about it tonight, actually, but I suppose he had other plans."

 _That filthy bastard!_ For a moment, Sasuke contemplated leaving his mother at the kitchen table and rushing out on a little impromptu assassination mission, but he quickly thought better of it. After all, his cousin, being an Uchiha and a fellow ANBU, was just as good as he at not being found when he didn't want to be. _And_ he wasn't exactly a pushover given the whole Mangekyou Sharingan thing. No, this revelation required additional intelligence gathering, some serious contemplation, and a great deal of strategizing. Besides, if Sakura really was involved with Shisui - and all he had in support of that claim was some gossip and Naruto's vaguely suggestive story, which wasn't exactly _conclusive proof_ \- she might not take too kindly to (or understand at all, for that matter) Sasuke _directly_ messing in her affairs. Particularly given their, ah, _relations_ last weekend and the fact that she really, really wasn't supposed to know the truth about his feelings. _Yes, there was no point in him losing his head over this… yet. Best to confirm matters with hard facts before going to extremes._

And so, Sasuke bided his time through the course of Saturday, attempting (and mostly failing) to distract his mind from the distasteful fantasies of Sakura and his lecherous cousin together and the increasingly creative tortures he'd subject Shisui to if his alleged treachery turned out to be truth. Finally, around eight in the evening, head pounding with what was rapidly developing into another nasty migraine - _maybe Sakura had a point about him needing to take better care of himself -_ he'd headed over to Naruto's apartment for a bit of pregaming. He wasn't usually one for alcohol, but, tonight, copious quantities liquor seemed like a _very good idea_.

They drank at Naruto's kitchen table, Sasuke doing his best to ignore the somewhat dubious crumbs littering the surface (the blonde was a bit better about cleanliness than back when he still lived with his father, but he'd never be a neat-freak). The liquor was good, actually. Well, the whiskey that Naruto had gotten for the occasion was positively revolting, but it did wonders for the aching head, uneasy stomach, and generalized twitchiness that had plagued Sasuke since dinner with his mother the previous night. In fact, around nine-fifteen or so, Sasuke was feeling so good that he found himself wondering why he didn't get drunk with Naruto more often. The _dobe_ had always been decent company (not that Sasuke would _ever_ admit that out loud), and he was a relatively jovial drunk. Sure, he could be pretty obtuse, but, it was _almost_ endearing. And Naruto clearly cared about his friends, their well-being, and their happiness, which was more than certain bastard Uchiha cousins might be able to say for themselves.

While they imbibed, they did a good bit of reminiscing about Team 7 (or, more accurately, Naruto reminisced and Sasuke threw in a few increasingly witty comments for good measure) before shifting to the blonde's current frustration. For Naruto had been clamoring to join the ranks of ANBU for most of the past year but was facing stiff resistance from Minato. And, so, they bemoaned the tyranny of fathers for a good while, a subject that was rather near and dear to Sasuke's own heart. (Secretly, Sasuke felt that the Yondaime had an excellent point about Naruto not necessarily being Black Ops material, but he'd save that thought for a time when he was feeling less charitable towards the _baka_.)

As they reached ten o'clock, the conversation died down, and, in the silence, Sasuke found his mind beginning to drift rather miserably back to a certain pink-haired woman and the birthday party that they were both supposed to be attending. Unfortunately, it appeared that his friend was on a similar wavelength. Taking a deep drink of what had to be his fourth or fifth glass, Naruto suddenly eyed Sasuke with a new, slightly glassy intensity. "So, _teme_ , that's my story. What's new with you then, eh? I know you said you had a bit of a falling out with Sakura-chan the other weekend. And now your bastard of a cousin is hanging around like one of those crows of his. You… _okay_ about all of this? I know Sakura-chan is real _special_ …"

The sober sliver of his brain screamed at Sasuke not to say anything. To change the subject. To tell the _dobe_ that he was being a goddamn _dobe_ and should really mind his business. But, tipsy ( _okay… pretty drunk)_ Sasuke wasn't nearly so good at keeping his feelings or thoughts to himself. Draining his glass - he was _fairly_ sure that was number six; he'd been doing his best to stay one ahead of his companion because, _yes_ , everything was a competition, but it was becoming challenging to keep track - Sasuke considered Naruto's bright blue eyes and furrowed forehead, rather touched at the concern radiating off of his friend's features. "It sucks," he admitted after a long pause. "I mean... how was I supposed to know that my cousin was going to allegedly turn around and try to fuck the woman _I'd_ just fucked, right?"

 _Oh shit. THAT right there was_ exactly _why he didn't usually drink to excess._

Naruto appeared to have been expecting some sort of confession, but it was pretty dang clear that it _hadn't_ been that. The blonde's jaw dropped dramatically, his eyes almost bugging out of his head in shock as he slowly struggled to absorb Sasuke's revelation. " _Teme_ … you and _Sakura-chan_ … you had… _relations_?"

Impaired brain catching up to his loose lips, Sasuke felt the panic rushing through his body in waves. _Oh gods, he'd told Naruto. He'd told_ the dobe _. And in such an unflattering, vile, callous way too._ "Look, Naruto. It was a mistake. I didn't mean to sleep with her… it just happened." _Stay cool. Stay detached. Think ANBU Black Ops dissociative thoughts..._

But, of course, that was easier said than done in the face of a righteous Uzumaki. Naruto stood slowly, backing slightly away from the kitchen table at which they'd been sitting in horror, and Sasuke had the sudden impression that things might very well come to blows. After all, he had been all up-in-arms about Sakura's virtue on Wednesday, and Sasuke had most definitely besmirched that. "Sasuke, what did you _do_? This is _Sakura-chan_ , you know! You can't _just_ … she's not like other girls! I thought you'd said you weren't going to get involved until you were ready to retire from -"

"Look, I fucked up. Okay? I fucked up." He was beginning to sound rather hysterical, all the anxiety of the past week pouring out at once, hands twitching on the tabletop in search of a kunai or a shuriken or _something_ that he could use to channel some of his nervous energy (and maybe buy some time against Naruto if he snapped and went all Kyuubi on him). "I just… she was there in a _bathrobe_ … and it just… it came over me. And then, after, well, I didn't know what to do. So I… the next morning, I mean… I _left_."

"You… _left_? You _left_ Sakura-chan? After you slept with her? No _wonder_ she was all into the idea of dating someone else after that. TEME! How could you be so… _stupid_?"

Coming from Naruto, that hurt _a lot_. But nothing could hurt quite as much as the look reflected now in those blue eyes… the frustration, the disappointment, the brutal condemnation of his actions, and the statement, clear as day, that he'd been a complete asshole who had let Sakura down, used her like she was some sort of empty body to be had and discarded, when in reality… _she was so much more. And, of course, Naruto's reaction was one thing, but just imagining how_ Sakura herself _would react to seeing him…_

 _Steady now._ Sasuke shrugged, desperately willing himself to return to that stable, detached affect that he was so good at projecting when his brain wasn't impaired by liquor. "Hn, well, now you understand why I can't go to her birthday tonight," he commented darkly, reaching for the almost empty bottle of whiskey to pour himself another glass.

In an impressive display of speed, Naruto rushed over and plucked the bottle off of the table, out of his reach. "Oh no, _teme_ , I don't think so. You're going. You and Sakura-chan… you need to work this out. I know you didn't want to, but you've gotta tell her how you _feel_ , Sasuke. About the whole clan thing. The ANBU thing. What you told me at Ichiraku's back in February. Sakura-chan's real smart; she'll understand. Or she'll beat you up. Or both. But, if we're gonna be honest, you kinda deserve that, _dattebayo_. I'd do it myself but... ladies first, ya know?"

Well, Sasuke had to hand it to Naruto. Maybe it was Hinata's influence or perhaps it had been in there all along, buried beneath the nonsense, but his old teammate was far more emotionally with it than the loudmouth little genin and swaggering chunin he remembered from their Team 7 days. He was also _right_. Deep down, Sasuke had known that he couldn't simply leave things with Sakura as he had; he just hadn't wanted to _face_ that fact. Running away had seemed so much simpler, particularly in the hazy morning light of her bedroom last Sunday, but it was no lasting solution. Or, at least, not one that was going to make Sakura happy. And _that_ was what really mattered.

He blinked slowly, trying to ignore the way that Naruto's kitchen was swirling slightly, how the cheap, overhead lighting was suddenly much too bright on his tired, aching eyes. Then, dark lashes snapping open, he met Naruto's expectant gaze with the most detached, Uchiha-like glare of superiority that he could currently muster in the wake of such indignity. "Fine. I'll talk to her."

"Tonight, _teme_. You'll talk to her _tonight_ ," the blonde growled in response.

"Tch." _So much for that old trick._

" _Come on_ , _teme_! Remember what I said back on Wednesday about Shisui? It's been _three whole days_. _And_ tonight's Sakura-chan's birthday. If you don't say it tonight, and she goes home with your cousin... you might _never_ get the chance!"

Sasuke's scowl deepened, and he crossed his arms obstinately over his chest as he stared down the apoplectic man before him. He certainly didn't _like_ the idea of his cousin with Sakura - the thought was positively revolting, actually - but he still wasn't entirely convinced that there _was_ anything to Naruto's claim. _Swooping in and stealing Sakura just seemed so un-Shisui-like. His cousin liked to tease, sure, and he_ definitely _got around, but he'd never been malicious, and Sakura didn't really seem his type._ Moreover, while Sasuke fully admitted that he needed to talk to Sakura, he wasn't sure that _now_ was the right time. After all, he was more than a little inebriated, she was probably also pretty drunk given that it was her birthday and she liked her liquor ( _and had probably been through hell this week_ , his guilt-tripping mind added helpfully), and he wasn't really sure yet what he was _supposed_ to say. Yes, he had a lot of explaining to do, but he could _really_ use some time to think a little bit about...

Naruto's voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts, slippery and smooth like the fox within him. "What… are you… _scared_ or something?"

"No!" Sasuke shot back angrily, rising to his feet in a sudden charge of rage. His rational mind told him that Naruto was obviously baiting him to action - it wouldn't be the first time, and the blonde wasn't exactly subtle in his approach - but, as usual, he couldn't let such insult slide _._ _To be called scared… weak_. _By_ Naruto. _Never._ "Of course not. Don't be stupid. I'm _going_ to do it tonight. I was just… strategizing."

Naruto grinned in victory. _Fuck_. _Well, now he was really sunk._ "Well then, since that's settled, let's go, _teme_. That is, unless you're too _afraid_ of what Sakura-chan might -"

"Shut up, _dobe_." And with that, Sasuke strode toward the front door of Naruto's apartment, using every bit of his shinobi training and his Uchiha pride to appear as cool, calm, collected, and sober as he very much _did not_ feel.

* * *

They arrived at the Twisted Kunai slightly after eleven after a less-than-elegant ten-minute walk over from Naruto's apartment. As he entered the dark, noisy bar, packed to the gills with reveling shinobi, Sasuke felt the pounding in his head return with a vengeance, accompanied this time by the too-rapid beating of his heart and a panicky prickle that was making him feel distinctly itchy all over. Shifting into mission mode, his dark eyes scanned the room for any flash of that candy-colored hair he'd somehow grown to adore. _Or maybe he'd always had a soft spot for pink…_

 _Hn, no sign of Sakura. What if Shisui had already made his move?_ He felt his blood begin to boil at the thought of his cousin shunshinning back to his apartment clutching Sakura's soft little body… carrying her off to his bedroom… those slender arms that had held _him_ this time a week ago wrapped wantonly about his cousin's frame... _Tch, he was being an idiot. The whole Shisui thing was just hearsay; she was here. She had to be. It was just busy. Yes, that was all._ Eyes running over the bar, he noticed the familiar silvery hair and mask of Kakashi at the far end, seated next to Yamato, their substitute Team 7 captain on those too-often occasions that Kakashi had gotten himself hospitalized and had to skip out on missions.

Jostling Naruto's shoulder slightly to get his attention, Sasuke inclined his head in Kakashi's direction, and the blonde nodded emphatically, whatever words he was saying drowned out by the hubbub of the bar and the blaring music. _It was so goddamn_ noisy… _how was this supposed to be fun?_ Cutting a path through what felt like a sea of people with a determined scowl on his face, Sasuke waded his way over to the corner that his former sensei was occupying, Naruto trailing behind him like a brilliantly orange shadow. Unsurprisingly for a tracker, the older man sensed them coming, giving them a familiar little salute. "Well, if it isn't my second- and third-favorite students," he commented by way of greeting, visible eye crinkling in what Sasuke had long ago learned to recognize as a smile. "You're _late_ , you know. The party started hours ago."

Sasuke nodded curtly, not in the mood for antics or formalities. _Not that he ever_ really _was… but particularly not tonight._ Out of his periphery, he saw Naruto beginning to open his mouth, probably to drunkenly bitch about Kakashi of all people calling them out for lateness, but he quickly cut the blonde off with a warning glare. "Kakashi. Have you seen Sakura?"

"Funny you ask. I had a nice little conversation with her an hour or two ago, actually. I assume she's still here… around… somewhere..." He trailed off, glancing lazily around the bar. Then, focusing back in, he added in a low voice that Sasuke could just barely make out, "That is, assuming your cousin hasn't struck yet. Shisui has always been rather quick on the uptake. Speaking of which… an unexpected choice by our Sakura-chan, neh?" Kakashi scratched the back of his head in feigned casualness, visible eye locked knowingly on Sasuke's face.

Despite the warmth of the crowded room, the Uchiha felt a sudden chill go up his spine, heart beating faster at this confirmation that the rumors had been correct. For idle gossip from his mother could be dismissed and Naruto had an unfortunate habit of too-quickly coming to conclusions, but firsthand intelligence from _Kakashi_ was pretty much irrefutable. _He needed to find her… them… fast._ Unbidden, his Sharingan blazed to life as he turned his attention away from his old sensei to scan the crowd with a renewed intensity, fixated on locating Sakura's soft, warm mint-green presence or Shisui's own navy amongst the masses. On a normal occasion, he would have scoffed at himself for resorting to his dojutsu in a bar on a Saturday night, but, at that moment, finding the kunoichi seemed more pressing than even an S-rank ANBU assignment.

In the background, he heard the Copy Ninja chuckle, although he noticed a rather sad emptiness to the laughter that hinted at something other than mirth. "You know, Sasuke, even the most patient kunoichi eventually reaches her limit. Now, don't let this old man keep you… I suspect that you have far more _important_ things to be doing, neh?"

 _Ah, the infinite wisdom of Kakashi._ Not even sparing his mentor the barest of glances, Sasuke nodded briefly and directed his attention back to Naruto, who had apparently done some reconnaissance work of his own. "Yamato-san said we should check the dance floor, _teme_! A bunch of the Konoha 12 crew headed over that way about half-an-hour ago, and Sakura-chan was with them!"

"Hn." Sasuke motioned his head to the area in the far back of the bar, signalling for Naruto to follow him over to a little table closest to the dance floor as his eyes desperately scanned the crowd. _No sign of Sakura… or Shisui. This was looking bad._ Very _bad. Oh gods, if Shisui absconded with her… he'd make the goddamn backstabber wish he'd never been born. Yes, he'd push him off of Hokage Mountain… Bribe Minato to consign him to a lifetime of playing sensei to team after team of genin brats… Challenge him to a spar and "accidentally" hit him in the face with a nice, old-fashioned Katon no Jutsu or a well-timed Chidori… Promise Itachi a lifetime supply of dango in exchange for subjecting him to a few rounds of one of his nastier genjutsus… The possibilities were endless, really..._

Sasuke jumped about a foot in the air as a cool object was suddenly pressed into his left palm. Sparing a quick glance down and then up, he realized that Naruto had apparently procured them more liquor. "Here, _teme_. A little fortification. You look like you need it."

 _Yes, the_ dobe _had really turned out to be one quality human being._ Gaze shifting back to the dance floor, he took a sip of the beverage and almost spat it out. _With positively_ terrible _taste in booze. Kami, where did he even…_

 _Sakura at twelve o'clock!_

She was right in the center of the dance floor, back to him, but the pink tresses and delicate little figure were unmistakable to his well-trained eyes. He appraised her form heatedly, gaze running over her slender legs, swaying hips, shapely torso, and long, creamy neck. With well over a third of a bottle of whiskey in his system and having not laid eyes on her in a week, his desire was stronger than ever. _In looks, mind, temperament, abilities, she was everything he desired… but what could he offer her now?_ His past week on injured reserve was the longest he'd been in the village since his appointment to ANBU over two years ago, and Sakura deserved commitment, a steadfast presence by her side, a companion who could be there for her on good days and bad, who could fully share his life with her. As long as he was a member of the Black Ops, he couldn't give her _any_ of that. _But of course, being a selfish bastard, he couldn't stomach the thought of her being with anyone else, either._ Those two weeks that she'd casually dated Kiba had been _torture_ , and that had been several years ago. His feelings had matured further since then, and their midnight liaison last weekend certainly hadn't helped matters.

And so, he sat, frozen at an impasse, sipping the cheap whiskey Naruto had procured for him and trying to ignore the daggers being glared into him from across their table. _The blonde had wanted him to explain… but how could he explain? "I love you more than almost anything and can't bear to see you with another man, but, I'm sorry, I've got a literal shit-ton of things to do before we can ever be together, so forget about last weekend, give me another five years, don't sleep with anyone else, and we'll see how this all shakes out?"_ No, that was too unfair; not even _he_ at his most selfish could convince himself otherwise. As for explaining his situation, well, Sakura was brilliant, but the pressures of the clan, of being Uchiha Itachi's little brother and Uchiha Fugaku's second son… _there was no way he could make her understand that._

A sudden flicker of crimson caught Sasuke's attention. There he was, his despicable bastard of a cousin, greedy hands splayed hungrily on Sakura's hips as she wound her lithe arms around his neck, drawing that glorious little chest of hers flush to his. The vision of _her_ , dancing so suggestively with another man, evoked a feverish roiling of his insides, and he clenched his glass so firmly that his knuckles went white. He wanted to shut his eyes, to look away, to be anywhere but there, but, as if caught in some sort of torturous genjutsu, he _couldn't stop staring_. For a moment, Shisui met Sasuke's eyes with his own activated Sharingan, smirking in a teasing display of bravado. _What's wrong, little cousin? Did I take something you liked?_ Then, just as quickly as they'd flared up, his cousin's eyes shifted back to black; he claimed those delightfully soft, plump lips that he had utterly no business kissing; and Sasuke saw an entirely different type of red. _ANBU, his clan, his father all be damned; he had to put an end to this._

Draining his glass and setting it down hard on the table, Sasuke rose to his feet as if in a trance. He was vaguely aware that Naruto had called out to him, but he didn't catch what. _No matter._ For he was all too swiftly leaving his friend behind, cutting a path through the crowd on the dance floor, the blaring music that had so irritated him previously lost in the fog of his jealousy. As he pushed towards the center, he mindlessly dodged an attempted thump on the shoulder from a fellow jounin and ignored a blonde who attempted to grind into him, wordlessly shifting his body out of reach as he charted a course straight for the pink-haired woman who had so completely captivated him.

When he was a few feet away, he stopped, fists clenching at his side at the realization that this was his final chance to duck away. _He couldn't do this. He_ shouldn't _do this. He had no business tying her up in his own complicated life right now._ But then, he was calling out her name, and Shisui… _Shisui_ was pushing her away from himself, _toward him_ in an inexplicable gesture that he really had to ask his cousin about later. For there was absolutely no time for that, now. Those eyes, those glorious green eyes were upon him, and oh gods did he want to kiss her, hold her, show her how much he loved her, tell her _everything_. How he felt, how much he cared, how sorry he was, how he wanted her, needed her, couldn't let her go. He just didn't know _how_ to make that happen… how to make _them_ happen.

And then, he was leading her off of the dance floor, and he could feel her steady presence behind him as he led her to the door, completely ignoring the revelry around them. And then, they were outside in the comparative quiet of the night, Sakura by his side, close enough that he could feel the warmth of her overheated body radiating off of her frame. And he was turning to face her, reaching out slowly to take her hand in his…

And then, he was flat on his back, on the ground, ten feet away from her, seeing stars as his left hand ran over his face, checking to confirm that her chakra-enhanced punch hadn't broken anything important, like his jaw or his nose. _Hn, the_ dobe _had been right. That right hook of hers was positively_ vicious _these days. Well, he'd take his medicine like he deserved._ "Sakura," he managed to croak out as he raised himself to sit, his head spinning almost as badly as it had last weekend. "I can... explain."

She glared down the road at him, cheeks flushed with a combination of rage and alcohol and arms crossed obstinately across her chest. "There's nothing _to_ explain Sasuke. I know _exactly_ what happened. _You_ … you just take what you want, whenever you want. And that night, last weekend, you decided you wanted _me_. And that was that, neh?"

Her voice was shrill and tight; he could hear her deep-seated anger, and it cut him to the core. He'd expected her to be upset, but to think that _that_ was what she thought he'd thought… well, _he'd thought_ they'd understood one another better than that! "Sakura, _this_ wasn't what I wanted." _Gods, did his head hurt._ He thought about standing, but he wasn't actually sure he could manage it what with all the drinking, the shot to the cranium, and the emotional onslaught.

If anything, his attempt as soothing her seemed to make her even angrier. "Well, you could have fooled me! Do you know how it felt? To wake up Sunday morning happy and warm and content because the man you've _adored_ for… for _forever_ finally, _finally_ returned your affections... only to find that he's _left_? Hm… probably _not_ ; no one ever denies Uchiha Sasuke, do they?"

 _Worse and worse._ "Sakura… listen. It was an accident. I didn't mean to..."

Green eyes sparkled with venom as she cut him off with a snarl. "An _accident_? Sleeping with me was an accident? _Really_ , Sasuke? I know you don't _care_ , but I wish you could just be a little bit kind -"

A peal of drunken laughter went off slightly down the road, and Sakura flinched, immediately shutting her mouth at the realization that they were most definitely in public. "We should probably find a private place," Sasuke observed quietly, willing his voice to remain as steady as he could in the face of the panic that was flooding his system. _She was taking everything that he said so_ badly _. Gods, why had he_ ever _thought that not talking to her sooner was the right move? Oh right, because actually putting his emotions to words completely scared the shit out of him. Fuck._

The kunoichi nodded wordlessly, sparing a half-glance over her shoulder at the group of stumbling shinobi off in the distance. Turning her attention back to Sasuke, she opened her mouth to speak but quickly stopped herself, green eyes narrowing knowingly. " _Not_ my apartment. Are your parents home?"

"They should be. But… you want to do this in the _Uchiha District_?" He usually had no qualms about taking here there. After all, they were former teammates, both he and Itachi were amongst her jounin patients, and her presence always seemed to make his mother inordinately happy for obvious reasons. However, given that Sakura currently hated his guts and was eager to express this physically and verbally, he _really_ wasn't sure how comfortable he felt with the concept. If anyone in his clan or, worse, his mother herself overheard their "conversation," well, he'd never hear the end of it.

Sakura's hands came to her hips, and Sasuke found himself noticing not for the first time how shapely a kunoichi she'd become. _Tch. No time for_ that _now._ "I want to do this somewhere I don't have to be _completely alone_ with you, Sasuke. Privacy, but not too much. Do you have a better idea?"

Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shut his eyes. _Those stars really didn't want to go away this time._ "Fine," he agreed, not wishing to antagonize her further. Slowly, painfully, he managed to push himself up to his feet, legs distinctly wobbly. _Well, he officially felt terrible. Mentally… spiritually… physically._ "Sakura, before we go... could you look at my head?" He knew he was probably asking a _lot_ , but, well, she had been the one to deck him. _And it wasn't like she was_ totally _innocent here. Sure, he_ definitely _shouldn't have run off on her last weekend, but she'd been the one who decided to move on with his player of a cousin of all people._ He fully recognized that he didn't have any particular claim over her but… _really?_ The more he thought about it, the stranger that whole development seemed.

Sakura clucked her tongue in what he would have usually been amused to hear was an awful lot like a "Tch." Wordlessly, she approached him, raised herself onto her tiptoes and applied her fingers to his temples. "I probably shouldn't have hit you in the head," she murmured a touch ruefully, green eyes fixed firmly on his chest in what he suspected was an intentional effort to avoid meeting his gaze. "Two concussions in the span of a week… I won't be able to clear you for any further missions for another _two_ weeks. You did deserve every bit of it, though."

"Hn." Sasuke could smell her familiar honeysuckle fragrance and the alcohol on her breath. The combination was intoxicating, and he fought hard against the base instincts screaming at him to just kiss her senseless already. _Bad idea if he valued his remaining brain cells._ Instead, he shut his eyes, ridding himself of some of the temptation and savoring the relief that her chakra provided to his pulsing head. The feeling of Sakura's jutsu was so gentle, so soothing, so subtly sensual… there really was nothing else like it. Even when she was livid with him, he could still feel her compassion, her love (or what he _hoped_ was still love) in the caress of her fingertips and the warmth of her chakra.

As the pain and his drunkenness subsided somewhat (for, rather unfortunately, Sakura apparently wanted him sober), he couldn't help but let out a little sigh of pleasure, which was shortly followed by a "Tch" of disappointment as her fingers moved away and she drew back. Opening his eyes, he noticed that her expression was a touch softer than before, although she was still exuding a distinctly deadly aura, and her full lips remained firmly down-turned. "Well, I think that should be _quite_ enough for now. You can schedule a follow-up appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning."

"Ah. _Thank you_." The words felt distinctly awkward on his lips - he'd never been effusive when it came to expressing his emotions, and politeness wasn't exactly his forte, to his mother's eternal chagrin - yet, over a decade into their relationship, he knew how much those simple words usually meant to her. She hummed softly in response, shifting awkwardly on her heeled ankle boots, before wordlessly turning her attention down the road, refusing to meet his eyes.

With that, they set off for his parents' house, Sakura keeping at least a couple of feet between them at all times, her gaze locked on the ground ahead of her. She was still angry - he didn't need any sort of special skill to notice _that_ \- but the occasional glances at her face indicated that her feelings were a good deal more complicated. He'd anticipated the rage and the beating - he'd been an ass, had seen her temper in action more times than he cared to remember, and he agreed with her assessment that he deserved it - but he _hadn't_ expect her to go so quiet, to be so hurt, to pursue someone else, or to so completely misinterpret the situation. _What if she never forgave him?_ He'd been so confident that she'd understand and quickly get over her rage, but now, well, it appeared that he may have miscalculated. And the realization was troubling… _deeply_ troubling. For he was discovering with every little glance at her face, every step that they were taking closer and closer to his family home that he cared about her, about them, far more than he'd thought.

The lights were off at his parents' house, situated at the very heart of the district. As Sasuke unlocked the front door, he was aware of Sakura shifting her weight nervously from foot to foot, arms crossed defensively over her chest. "It's late. They've gone to sleep," he explained, recalling that she'd said that she hadn't wanted them to be alone together. _Because she didn't trust him._ He entered quietly, kicking off his sandals, and she followed suit with her boots. "Is my room… acceptable?" he murmured, not wishing to alert his parents to their presence. For the last thing he needed _now_ was his mother's spirited interference or, even worse, prying questions tomorrow morning about why exactly Haruno Sakura had accompanied him home slightly after midnight.

Sakura chewed her glossy pink lip nervously, finally meeting his eyes. _Those eyes… those glorious green eyes and the things they did to him._ "That should be… _fine_ , I suppose."

He nodded and led her down the hall, beckoning her as he flicked on the light switch. It was the first time he'd ever had a woman other than his mother in his childhood bedroom, he realized with a sudden, rather funny feeling. Not that there was really much to see. A full bed, neatly made up with a navy bedspread bedecked with the Uchiha crest (of course); a small bedside table next to it, featuring a nondescript lamp with a cream-colored shade and a couple of odds and ends; the desk and chair where he used to do his homework during their Academy days next to that, their Team 7 photo and another of he and Itachi as young children featured prominently on one side; and a simple wooden dresser underneath the window.

He glanced to his left, somewhat curious as to Sakura's reaction, but she seemed lost in thought. Clearing his throat slightly, he made his way over to the bed and sat down on the bedspread, nodding slightly at the desk chair in a wordless invitation. She complied, shutting the door behind her, and he breathed a sigh of relief. After all, his parents' room was a good ways down the hall, but he was still more than a little wary about anyone overhearing them. Picking up a kunai from his bedside table, he began mindlessly spinning it, eyes locked on Sakura's pale face. "Sakura, about my behavior last weekend. It... _shouldn't_ have happened."

 _Well, that was one of his more awkward admissions._ He looked up, only to wish that he _hadn't_ , for those luminous eyes were now magnified by big, angry tears, and her cheeks had turned a brilliant pink, just like when he used to upset her during their genin days. _Because, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it, somehow, he always made her cry._ "It shouldn't… have _happened_ …" she repeated softly, the words heavy on her tongue. "But, Sasuke-kun, what if… I _wanted_ it?"

Sasuke sighed heavily, running the hand that wasn't occupied with the kunai through his hair. _Why did this have to be so… difficult? Ah, yes, because emotions always left him hopelessly tongue tied and guilty, particularly when they came to_ her _._ "Sakura, I can't _give_ you what you want right now." She frowned, obviously not comprehending. "Don't you see? With ANBU, with my father, my brother, my clan, the elders, there's just… I don't…"

"You don't _want_ to," Sakura replied shortly, rising to her feet in preparation to leave, her eyes locked insistently on the closed door. "I understand, Sasuke. You don't want me. I just wish you'd thought of that _before_ you decided it would be fine to sleep with me, ignore me for a week, and then interfere that _minute_ that I decided that I could be interested in someone else!"

 _She had it all wrong. So, so wrong._ He watched her retreating figure desperately, painfully aware that this was his last chance, that she'd taken those first couple of steps to the door and was seconds away from running off to his despicable cousin's apartment. "Sakura, don't be annoying." _Tch, really bad phraseology there, Sasuke. Do better._ "I mean... I _do_ want you. I wanted you last weekend… I want you now… I'll always want you."

Sakura spun around, green eyes wide with shock and pink lips parting slightly in a little "oh" of surprise that was rather endearing, actually. "You... do?" she asked rather breathily, and Sasuke felt a funny, decidedly pleasant flip-flopping in his stomach. Then, her eyes narrowed to daggers, and her hands came to her hips as she glared at him obstinately from the center of the room. "Why did you leave, then? Why didn't you _say_ anything? Why did you make me think you were just… _using_ me?"

"Because…" _Because ANBU runs my life. Because my father thinks I'm useless. Because being part of the Uchiha clan comes with a set of impossibly high expectations. Because the clan elders behave like I barely exist. Because Itachi is perfect, and I'm not._ "Because I'm an idiot." _That too_.

At that, Sakura... _laughed_. And, oh gods, he could listen to that silvery tinkle every day for the rest of his life, and it wouldn't be nearly enough. "Sasuke-kun... don't take this the wrong way, but you really are, aren't you? You know, I think we owe Naruto an apology. All those years we've branded him the _baka_ of Team 7…"

"Hn." Sasuke attempted a scowl, but, well, it was kind of _hard_ to frown when Sakura's eyes were shining like that, for him, just when he thought he'd lost her. Although, he wasn't out of danger yet. As much as he didn't want to quench the happiness radiating from her face, he had to make her realize the ugly truth... that _wanting_ was very different from being capable of having. Forcing his face into what he hoped would read as an understanding yet serious expression (he suspected that it looked more like he was frowning than anything else thanks to his Uchiha genetics), he met Sakura's gaze with his own, resisting the urge to lose himself in the eager glow he found there. "Sakura, you do recognize, with ANBU and the obligations of my clan, that I don't have _time_ for anything ser -"

"Sasuke, I thought we were going to leave the idiocy to Naruto?" Sakura asked rather shortly, approaching the bed and sitting on the very edge, her hands smoothing out her rather attractively short skirt. _She looked good in black. Sexy. Tch. Focus._ "I may not go on missions anymore, but I'm still a kunoichi, you know. And, as your personal medic for the past half-decade, I'm well appraised of your mission schedule."

"But the Uchiha -"

Sakura rolled her eyes, and Sasuke couldn't help but love her a little bit more for that. "I've been your teammate since you were _twelve_ , and I'm Yamanaka Ino's best friend. I may not come from a shinobi clan myself, but I know what that _means_."

 _Hn, did she though? Could anyone who wasn't his father's son really know what…_

" _Sasuke-kun._ Trust me." Sasuke found his train of thought interrupted by the exceedingly pleasant realization that Sakura's soft lips were insistently pressed to his and that her hands had wound their way into his dark hair, quickly ruining any attempts he'd made earlier that evening at taming his unruly mop. He wasn't entirely sure how it had happened, but it wasn't like he really _minded_. Indeed, the sensation of her body against his, the soft little sigh she made as he returned her affection, his hands trailing up her spine, was everything he craved.

 _But there was one more thing he had to know._ After several heated moments, he rather regretfully broke off contact. "Sakura, what happened with Shisui?"

The flush on the kunoichi's face deepened, and she nibbled her lip rather nervously. "Oh. _That_. Well, it was Ino's idea," Sakura murmured softly, eyes dropping down to her lap. "She thought, if I could make you jealous _,_ that we might get you to admit that you _cared_. But it was silly. I shouldn't have listened."

"Ah." _That explained a lot. To borrow a phrase from her fiance, Yamanaka Ino had always been exceedingly troublesome. Although, he had to give the meddlesome blonde some credit. It had worked._ "So, Shisui was in on it, neh?"

"Hai," Sakura admitted softly, clutching her hands together in her lap. Despite having just come clean, Sasuke was surprised to see that her eyes remained firmly downturned in what could only be embarrassment. "Sasuke. It had all started out as a ruse. But, well, I think you should know. I _liked_ spending time with Shisui. It wasn't anything like with you, but, well, it was nice. And I told _him..._ I wanted to go home with him. Right before you showed up. And I _did_ at the time… I would have..."

"Hn." _He couldn't deny that he definitely didn't like_ that _. But, he couldn't exactly complain either, now could he?_ Given his actions and his own sexual history, he would be wrong to fault Sakura for pursuing another. _At least, as long as she remained single. Which wasn't_ really _something he wanted to get into_ quite _yet, but, well, it was part of the five-year plan. If she'd have him. Which might be a big "if" given the past week's fuck-ups._

Sasuke licked his lips, attempting to quell his sudden fit of nerves by reminding himself that _he_ didn't get nervous (which didn't really work, but it was worth a try). Slowly, his left hand traced its way up her right arm, beginning at the wrist and making its way to her chin. Applying a touch of pressure, he raised her gaze to his, a gentle warmth stirring in his belly as their eyes met. "Sakura," he murmured softly, "You were entitled to go home with whoever you liked, much as _I_ might not like it. But…" his voice shifted, becoming slightly rawer as he took in the dewy softness of her gaze, "I don't _want_ you to be with anyone else. Only _me_."

At that, those lovely pink lips curved up into what could only be called an eager smile, and her green eyes darkened slightly, turning hazy with desire. "Then claim me, Sasuke-kun… make me _yours_."

It was _probably_ a bad idea - there was still _a lot_ more for them to hash out - but he couldn't _help_ it. Not when she was looking at him like that, gaze so expectant, so heated for _him_. _All for him._ Throwing caution out the window, he complied with her wishes, drawing her willingly little body rather aggressively into his own and continuing down the lust-filled path she'd started them on just a few minutes prior, covering her lips, her neck, everywhere he could reach with reverent kisses as she giggled and mewed in his arms, all soft suppleness and delightful femininity.

But she was wearing far too much, and it frustrated him to no end. Greedy for more - _he always wanted more -_ his hands quickly traced their way to the back of her dress, firmly tugging the zipper downwards. With that and a bit of strategic wiggling on her part, the flimsy material fell away to reveal milky skin covered in a few swatches of strategically placed black lace, and he could feel the fire rising within him at the sight. _Gods, did she look good in black._ His eyes devoured her newly exposed frame, and she shifted rather nervously next to him in an action he immediately recognized as self-consciousness. _Which was totally uncalled for because, dear Kami, that little body of hers was positively sinful..._

Taking hold of her wrists, he brought her arms away from her body, pulling her back towards him as he allowed his own torso to drift back onto the mattress until she was astride him, lying atop his clothed chest. For a moment, she gazed into his face, wide eyed and earnest, and then she became the greedy one, unceremoniously pushing his clan shirt up and over his head before turning her attention downwards, her fumbling fingers accelerating his arousal as they worked to free him from the confines of his too-tight pants. "What do you _want_ , Sakura- _chan_?" Sasuke asked under his breath, teasingly adopting the diminutive he'd never particularly cared for.

"You. Sasuke-kun, I want _you_ ," came the heated reply, hands finally pulling his pants down and off of his legs, leaving him in his black boxer-briefs. _It was everything he wanted to hear._

Her enthusiasm spurring him onward, Sasuke pulled Sakura up and in for another searing kiss, his pelvis grinding into her in a slow, teasing motion that was rewarded with a little series of coos and gasps. "Hn, with pleasure," he murmured against her lips, hands deftly undoing the clasps of her bra, drawing away the garment, and finding her pert breasts, smirking as her nipples hardened at his touch.

His mouth following the path of his fingers, he latched onto her right nipple, teasing the delicate bud with his tongue and a light scraping of teeth, and Sakura moaned, hips gyrating against his in an increasingly raw desire. Left hand free to explore her body further, it meandered down her toned stomach, slowly dipping past the lace of her panty to her candy-colored curls. As her sighs grew insistent and her quivering more forceful, he slipped an index finger into the slick warmth of her core, teasingly stroking her folds before finally going in for the kill, fingertips gently flitting over her clit to elicit a gasped " _Sasuke-kun!_ "

His lips released her right nipple and journeyed over to its mate, not wishing to leave one bit of her body unsated. _Ah, how he loved to please this woman._ There was just something so erotic about seeing her come undone, body rocking with need, lips parted in a steady stream of moans, brow furrowed with pleasure, and eyes shining in sheer ecstasy as he brought her slowly and steadily towards her peak. His index and middle fingers gently curled more fully into her tantalizing heat, preparing her for what was to come, and she let out a wordless wail that inspired a deep, rather feral desire within him. Rising up from her chest, he reclaimed her lips, clothed hips rising up insistently against hers in a delightfully friction-filled motion that had him eager to rip off the remaining fabric separating them and just take her. _But no, he would be patient._

He traced his way down the left side of her neck, kissing, sucking, and nibbling as she thrashed above him. Then, his thumb ran over her clit, joining his index and middle fingers to further her pleasure, and she let out a little shriek that was most definitely going to carry down the hall to his parents' room. But he didn't really care just then, because she was coming, so beautifully, so desperately in his arms, the shivers of her orgasm racking through her body as she gripped into the bedspread to either side of his body. Overwhelmed by desire, his lips returned to hers and he kissed her fiercely, hungrily as his fingers stilled and withdrew from her wetness, slipping the lace panty down her thighs as far as he could reach to leave her fully bare.

She was so very lovely, soft body falling still in his arms; green eyes fixated on his face with a happy, slightly self-conscious glow that was so very _her_ ; pink hair a mess; and cheeks flushed from the results of his ministrations. It so utterly pleased him, and he found himself wondering _why_ anything else mattered when he could have her, like this. For _this_ was where he truly belonged. He kissed her forehead softly, tenderly, and she let out a gentle sigh, shutting her eyes in evident pleasure. His… _desire_ was growing increasingly insistent, but he pushed it off for the time being, relishing the gentle intimacy of their current circumstances.

That was, until he felt a warm little hand reach past the elastic of his waistband and wrap itself rather boldly around his erection. For _that_ could not be ignored. Eyes shooting to her face, he smirked, acutely aware of every movement of her fingers too gently tracing his hardened member. "Something catch your interest, Sakura?"

"Hm… very possibly," she murmured, gaze falling to his crotch. Her left hand dropping down to join her right, she made quick work of his remaining garment, biting her lip as she fully exposed him to her gaze. All of a sudden, she looked somewhat tentative, and he found himself growing impatient, desiring the return of the hand that had teased him while he was clothed. _What was she waiting for?_

"You can _touch_ me, you know," he observed as softly as he could, voice rather strained. Being with Sakura, like this, was making him almost nervous. Sure, he'd been with women before. Hell, he'd been with _her_ before. But tonight felt _different_. _Serious_. _Important._ And he didn't want to _ruin_ it. _Tch, breathe_. _Big, deep breaths_.

"Hai, Sasuke-kun." She smiled rather sweetly as her right hand ran up his thigh to grip the base of his shaft, hesitantly moving up and down in a grip that was much too gentle.

 _Well, that wouldn't do._ How to jerk off was apparently one anatomy lesson that they _didn't_ teach young medic-nins (which, admittedly, wasn't _really_ a surprise). He sighed, his vague annoyance at her incompetency (which was kind of dickish, but he was horny) accompanied by an admittedly perverted (also kind of dickish… he was really earning his _teme_ stripes tonight) awareness that she really was that innocent. Carefully taking her warm right hand in his own, he positioned her index finger up against his frenulum and jerked rather roughly. "Like this," he grunted out, strangely reminded of their early genin days when he'd worked with her on her taijutsu form. She nodded, and he released her hand, infinitely pleased by the resulting discovery that she was just as much of a quick study in the bedroom as on the sparring field. _Not that it was an S-class tactical maneuver…_

Indeed, a couple of minutes in, Sasuke found himself growing decidedly hot and bothered under her touch. For she'd discovered that the head of his cock appreciated her attention and had developed an intriguing stroking motion of which he was very much a fan. He shut his eyes, savoring the sensation, only to snap them back open moments later at the surprise that something wet - _her pretty little mouth_ \- had joined the party, pink tongue delicately twirling around the tip. Now, blow jobs were nothing new in his book. Sure, he _enjoyed_ them, but he'd been there, done that, on both sides of the equation ( _a required portion of ANBU training… also, a mostly straight guy could be_ curious _, right?_ ). But seeing _Sakura_ suck him off, with those big, green eyes that had haunted his dreams for the better part of a decade staring up at him, well, it was pretty damn hot indeed.

 _Too hot_. As she took more of him into her mouth, tongue pressing insistently against his length, Sasuke found himself beginning to lose control. Which was totally unacceptable, because, seriously, he had _much_ better stamina than this. Usually. And, besides, he really, _really_ wanted to make love to her tonight. " _Ah_ , Sakura… that's enough," he commented tightly, hips bucking up slightly as she released him with an exceedingly satisfying little sucking sound.

She looked up nervously, lips slightly swollen from her activities as they hovered inches from his erection. "Am I _doing it wrong_?" she asked with a frown. "I suppose I should have taken up Ino on her -"

 _Kami, not Yamanaka Ino_ again _. The blonde was a menace even a mile away._ "You were fine," he cut in quickly, and her frown deepened. _He could really stand to work on this whole compliment thing._ " _Great_ , actually." _Much better._

She smiled with what he was bemused to see was self-satisfaction ( _she had always taken pride in her work_ ), and he guided her back up the bed, savoring the heady sensation of her naked body pressed up against his own. Their lips met once more, and he kissed her soundly, hoping to communicate in action the appreciation that he so struggled to put into words. She appeared to get the message, for she quickly melted into him, returning his caresses of her back and breasts with enthusiasm as her hands wound themselves through his dark locks, the gentle scratching of his scalp sending shivers up his spine. _Oh Kami, how he wanted… no,_ needed _her._ Dark eyes meeting emerald, he brought his forehead to hers." _Sakura_... would you _ride_ me?" It wasn't a position he usually favored, being a bit of a control freak and all, but tonight he found himself more than willing to share.

At that, she blushed. "I'd… _try_ ," she replied somewhat tentatively, the coy smile flitting across her lips a confirmation that, yes, she was very much on board with that idea. He kissed her once more, long and slow, swallowing a moan that crept from her lips. Then, his hands dropped to her waist, and he helped her rise up and situate herself above him, reveling in the soft little blush coloring her cheeks. Her hot hands came to his chest, steadying herself slightly, and then she was sinking onto his member, inch by torturous inch, mouth falling slightly open, eyes shutting, and forehead creasing in what he _hoped_ was pleasure.

 _Fuck, was she exquisite._ As her hot, tight, velvety heat welcomed him, he found himself fighting the urge to thrust up into her, aware that this was still quite new, that she needed time to adjust. And so, he waited, contenting himself with lazily stroking her thighs, her rear, her sides, anything he could reach, mind thrilling at the knowledge the she was his… _and he hers._ His calloused fingertips grazed her hips, pink lashes fluttered open, and Sakura gave him a soft, hazy smile that sent his heart pounding. "Oh, Sasuke-kun, you feel so _good_."

 _Ah. He made her feel good._

And then, _at last_ , she was moving, hips rising slowly back up before enveloping him once against with a glorious groan that he found himself compelled to echo. She repeated the motion again… and again… _and again_ , picking up speed as her confidence and arousal grew, and Sasuke found himself entranced by the motions of her body, the eager little moans, the hungry gaze on her flushed face. On a particularly sharp drive down, he jerked up reflexively, no longer able to hold himself back, and she let out a wail that had him momentarily fearing he'd hurt her. That was, until... "Oh, Sasuke-kun, do _that_ again." And he complied. Ardently and repeatedly. Because that was _really_ what he wanted tonight, to please her, pleasure her, show her how much he cared, how _special_ she was to him.

Her motions grew faster, sloppier, and Sasuke stepped in to guide her, hands gripping forcefully onto Sakura's hips. Then, her mewing reached a fevered pitch, back arching slightly, and she was coming, a breathless expression of love _for him_ on her lips. "Sakura... say that again," he found himself gasping out as she collapsed down onto his chest, the fluttering of her walls driving him to his own release as he held her close, covering her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her lips in kisses.

" _I love you… I love you… oh gods, Sasuke, I love you…_ "

Her confession wasn't a surprise by any stretch of the imagination. From the meticulously peeled apples she used to prepare for him whenever he'd been hospital bound as a teen to the late-night healing sessions in her apartment over the past few years, he'd known seemingly for forever that she cared deeply for him. But to hear her say those words _tonight_ , after coming to fear he'd thrown her affections into jeopardy…. _All was truly right in the world..._

As he came back down to earth, he was struck by the realization that Sakura was watching him closely, an expression of sleepy surprise on her face as she nuzzled her face into his bare chest. "Sasuke… your eyes."

"Hn?"

"You activated your Sharingan. Is something the matter?"

"Ah." _He hadn't even noticed._ But, of course, he knew exactly why… and he found that he wanted her to know too, damn the consequences. For there would be no more running, no more hiding, no more pretending that she was just his friendly little neighborhood medic. She was _far_ more important than that to him, and it was time for her to know that once and for all. It had taken him a rather embarrassingly long amount of time to come to that conclusion - hell, even _Naruto_ had figured it out first - but he realized that now. And, surprisingly, he felt pretty good about it, all things considered. There were still a fair amount of logistics to sort out, of course. Juggling ANBU and his clan obligations while in a committed relationship wasn't going to be _easy_ , but he'd begin to worry about those details tomorrow. After all, he _was_ a prodigy, and Sakura herself was a deeply talented kunoichi who, as she'd helpfully reminded him earlier that evening, was no stranger to hard work, insane schedules, or the shinobi lifestyle. They'd muddle through. He was sure of it.

He chuckled softly, fingertips gently stroking along her spine, and then licked his lips, willing himself to find his voice. "That can happen sometimes with _strong_ emotions. Rage, sorrow, fear... _love_." _There. He'd said it, and there was officially no going back._

" _Oh_." She gave him a radiant smile, and his heart soared. It was so delightful that he was somewhat tempted to make love to her again. But no, he was tired, she looked exhausted, and she really deserved to get some sleep on her birthday night. _Speaking of which._ _H_ _e'd almost forgotten..._

Somewhat regretfully, Sasuke shifted Sakura off of his chest and tucked her carefully under the bedsheets. Rolling to his side, he plucked the little white box from the jewelry store off of his bedside table. His clock told him that it was well after midnight now - he'd technically missed her birthday - but he'd make it up to her. As he'd long ago learned from Kakashi, better late than never.

Turning back to Sakura's spent little face, he lifted off the lid, revealing the pendant within. The stone shone in the lamplight, a perfect reflection of its intended wearer. _Well, not quite._ For the way her eyes were shining now was more lovely than any emerald.

"Sakura. Happy birthday."


	7. Itachi's Return

_[AN: And so we come to the end (for real, this time... I think!). Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, following, and commenting! It's been a pleasure to have hopefully kept you entertained! For now, I'm planning on turning my attentions back to my other in-progress story (Secrets of the Sharingan)... if you're looking for lighter fare from me, I have a few other ideas percolating that I'll hopefully get to writing one of these days. As usual, this content is rated M, and I most definitely do not own Naruto.]_

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the leaves on the trees were green. It was mid-April, and spring had come to Konoha. And, with it, arrived Uchiha Itachi, home from Kumogakure after over a month away.

As he approached the famed gates of his village, Itachi let out a heavy sigh, rolling his shoulders and stretching his neck. His trip to Hidden Cloud had been long yet pleasurable and the mission a resounding success. The Raikage had ranted and raved for several weeks this time around, but under Itachi's firmly administered politeness and clearheaded rationality, he'd gradually come around to signing the new alliance Minato had tasked him with obtaining. _It was truly a pity that this trip was likely to be his last for a good long while, if not for forever._ For, prior to his departure early last month, his _oto-san_ had made crystal clear that it was high time for Itachi to set aside his role in ANBU and prized place as the Yondaime's chief representative abroad and turn his attentions fully to Uchiha clan affairs.

While he didn't _wish_ to comply with his father's demands, it was his born responsibility, and there was no real way of denying that. Fugaku had occupied the position of Uchiha clan head for thirty-three years - longer than his eldest son had even been alive - and he (and his mother) certainly deserved a long and peaceful retirement. Yet, Itachi couldn't help but question whether leading the Uchiha was really the best way for him to serve the village. He didn't doubt that his skills as a negotiator would come in handy - the clan elders were a difficult, crusty lot - but it seemed a bit _wasteful_. Yes, the Uchiha clan was important, storied, powerful, and integral to the fibers of Konoha, and Itachi admittedly looked forward to sitting on the High Council side-by-side with the other clan heads, but he was well aware that much of what his father did on a day-to-day basis was decidedly mundane and even, at times, _petty_. Settling a dispute between his second cousin twice-removed and his great uncle over who owed who gambling money? No, no thank you. He'd _much_ rather be off in Kirigakure, developing trading agreements and politely (always politely) fending off the advances of the lovely Fifth Mizukage. _Who was admittedly rather attractive… but probably (definitely) crazy._

Besides, there was the not so insignificant issue that most of the Uchiha elders regarded him as a dirty traitor and turncoat for his starring role in talking them out of their suicidal plot against the village seventeen odd years ago. He'd ally himself with Minato if asked to do it again a thousand times, but the fallout was decidedly problematic when it came to cultivating good relations with his clansmen. The younger generation forgave him, or at least understood where he was coming from on his insistence that loyalty to Konoha came first, but those who dated themselves to the era before the modern Academy system - back when education was more fully handled by the clan - didn't really understand all that. Through his years of public service, his steady presence at clan meetings, and his reputation throughout the shinobi world as the greatest Uchiha since Madara himself (probably a bit of an exaggeration), he'd restored his standing somewhat. But the elders would never accept him like they had his father - he was not nearly so foolish to expect _that_ \- and they would likely be a thorn in his side until they kicked the bucket. Which, given the Uchiha penchant for stubbornness, would probably not be for a good, long time. Not that he _wished_ death upon them, or anything like that.

Turning his mind away from his current plight, Itachi nodded to Kotetsu and Izumo as he made his way through the open gates, charting a course for Haruno Sakura's apartment. By his reckoning, it was Sunday afternoon, which meant that she was apt to be at home. A very good thing, for he was hoping she'd give his lungs their usual tune-up.

At the age of eighteen, shortly after his first-ever mission to Kumo, Itachi had developed a rather uncomfortable burning sensation whenever he took a deep breath. He initially hadn't thought much of it, assuming that he'd simply caught cold or overdone it more than usual in one of his admittedly brutal spars with Shisui. After several weeks of pain and a few coughing fits that had left his _okaa-san_ clucking her tongue in disapproval, however, he'd booked an appointment at the hospital with his regular medic at the time, only to be rushed at the first touch of Shizune's cold stethoscope to his chest to Tsunade-sama herself for an emergency examination. One painfully dull week on bed-rest later, he'd learned that he very fortunately _wasn't_ dying. Instead, he'd developed an extremely rare, chronic lung condition exacerbated by high altitudes that required regular, preventative treatment sessions with a fully trained medic.

The whole situation was decidedly _annoying_. He liked Sakura quite a bit, but monthly health consultations weren't his preferred way to spend his painfully rare free time. Still, it could most definitely be worse, and he wasn't about to screw around with his health or career by neglecting his body. And so, he developed a post-long-term-mission routine: Check-in with the gate guards, head to Sakura's for a check-up, report to Minato, and then make his way home for a good long sleep and his mother's glorious home cooking.

Itachi rapped politely on the door of the kunoichi's apartment and waited, somewhat surprised that she wasn't answering. He was by no means a sensory ninja, but he knew enough to be fairly confident that Sakura was home. Vaguely disgruntled - he was rather looking forward to a hot bath and really didn't want to have to come back later - he did something he didn't _usually_ do: Exited the apartment, scaled the building, and let himself in through her living room window. Yes, it was kind of rude and definitely on the invasive side, but Shisui _totally_ did it on a regular basis (and he'd wager a fair bit that Kakashi, Sasuke, and Naruto all did too), so it wasn't unprecedented by any stretch of the imagination.

Upon entering, Itachi noticed three distinct points.

The first was that Sakura had evidently done some redecorating. For the last time he'd been by, back in February, her couch had been light grey, and now it was black. A good decision, in his irrelevant opinion, but, then again, as an Uchiha, his preference for all things inky was basically a part of his DNA.

The second was that Sakura hadn't answered the door because she hadn't heard him. A silencing jutsu had been put in place around the perimeter of her apartment. Which was decidedly _odd_ , actually. What need had a solitary kunoichi for stealth while in the comfort of her own apartment in the middle of one of the safest ninja villages in the world?

The third and final point answered his question. Haruno Sakura had _company_. And, as it happened, said company was currently fucking her soundly as she lay on her back on her kitchen table, chest heaving with every thrust _(since when had little Sakura-chan gotten so busty?)_ , head hanging off of the edge, eyes clamped shut _(good thing too, or he'd probably be a dead man)_ , and full lips open in ecstasy as she emitted a steady stream of moans and wails. It was pretty damn hot, actually. But Itachi refused to permit himself those thoughts. How his medic chose to spend her leisure time was really none of his business, after all, and he had less than no right to witness _this_. No, he'd just carefully, quietly extricate himself, exit through the same accursed window through which he'd been stupid enough to enter, and leave Sakura and whatever lucky sap was screwing her to it. _Hopefully, the horny bastard at least had the sense to know how good he had it. And to use protection._

He'd averted his eyes, had made it all the way back to the window sill, and was just a second away from leaping out to safety when a particularly sharp cry caught his attention, drawing his gaze insistently back to the couple. "Ah, Sasuke-kun! _More… please…_ I'm _so_ close..."

 _Sasuke-kun? Oh, sweet, Kami,_ no _. Please not..._

There could be no denying it. For a familiar voice responded to her wail, far darker and rougher that Itachi had ever before heard it, yet utterly unmistakable. " _More_ , Sakura? _Uhn_... so _eager_ today..."

For a moment, Itachi stood frozen in utter and complete horror. _He'd just walked in on his baby brother. Banging their medic. His not-so-virgin eyes were_ never _going to recover from this one._ Then, with a new urgency, he barreled out of the window to the safety of the ground, willing his mind to forget what he'd just witnessed and praying fervently to all of the shinobi gods at once that Sakura and Sasuke _hadn't_ noticed his intrusion. The first wish was completely in vain - there was no unseeing Sakura's almost O-face - but he was somewhat optimistic about the second. After all, the happy couple had been pretty absorbed in their affairs _,_ and his stealthiness was S-class level.

Mind racing, Itachi reset his course for Shisui's apartment on the outskirts of the Uchiha District. His check-in with Minato could wait. For it appeared that little Sasuke-kun had been _exceedingly_ busy over the past month, and, as his admittedly overprotective ( _and rather curious_ ) elder brother, he wanted answers.

Very fortunately, Shisui was home, answering his door, and not in the middle of fucking anyone's brains out. He greeted Itachi with a wide smile that the Uchiha heir did his best to return, quickly ushering him into the living room of his apartment. "Tachi! How the hell are you? Did you just get back? How was Kumo? I assume that the Raikage is still his usual ornery self? Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, water?"

"Hn. Do you have anything _stronger_?" Itachi asked, seating himself gratefully on the black leather couch and running his hands over his poor, tortured eyes. He loved Shisui dearly, but the man's rapid-fire questions were _not_ what he currently needed.

Shisui chuckled as he ducked out of sight into his kitchen. "Ah, negotiations went that well? Not to worry, I'm sure Minato will understand. He knows from personal experience was an asshole Ay can be. You can spare me the bloody details; I'm honestly not that interested. Anyway, looks like I've got beer, vodka, gin, maybe even wine if I can find a corkscrew. What'll it be?"

"Beer would be great." Itachi leaned back, arms coming behind his head for additional neck support and legs stretched out before him under Shisui's oak coffee table. "The mission was fine. Successful. Samui-san sends her regards."

Shisui reentered the room, casually passing Itachi an open bottle, and plopped down next to him on the sofa with a rakish grin. "Does she now? You know, Itachi, not that I think Fugaku-oji-san will _ever_ agree to you sullying his precious line with foreign blood or that the Raikage would give her up, but Samui-san would be _perfect_ for you. Ice-cold personality, ironclad discipline, a mind for diplomacy, and a body to kill for… she's _basically_ the female equivalent of you, you know. Well, minus the _Kekkei Genkai_ and the clan nonsense."

Itachi took a welcome sip of his beer and then frowned dismissively. "Tch. Such foolishness. You sound like _okaa-san_."

"That's probably fair. Which reminds me. Have you been home to see _oba-san_ yet? I think you'll find her a bit less fixated on _your_ marriage prospects these days." The corners of his mouth turned up in that familiar, devilish smirk that always accompanied good gossip. "You owe little Sasuke-kun _big time_ , Tachi. Believe it or not, he _finally_ started shacking up with Sakura a few weeks ago, and Mikoto's in heaven. I've seriously never seen her so happy."

"I had heard. _Seen_ , actually," Itachi admitted shortly, taking another swig of his beverage in an effort to chase away the searing image of Sakura's bare breasts that was haunting his thoughts.

Shisui let out a deluge of giggles, dark eyes sparkling in boyish amusement. "Ah, did you come across them kissing too? Who knew that the broody little guy would be so comfortable with public displays of affection, right? Then again, he _has_ always been rather territorial. Remember how pissed off he'd get when we ditched him to go sparring as kids? I'd never before realized how bloodthirsty a cute little six-year-old -"

"Tch, it was _more_ than kissing," Itachi interrupted. "But, no matter. It's _serious,_ then?" If his mother knew, it had to be. Well, either that or Sasuke was a far bigger fool than he thought. He did wonder how all this had happened, though. The last time he and Sasuke had had one of their more serious brother-to-brother chats, back in mid-February, his _otouto_ had been all about making ANBU captain and increasing his visibility at clan meetings. Tying himself to Sakura was by no means a _bad_ move from an Uchiha viewpoint - she was a wonderful, talented woman, and he had no doubt that his father and the clan elders would firmly approve of the match despite her lack of Uchiha blood - but, from an ANBU perspective, it was nothing short of career suicide. For the Black Ops required full, unfettered commitment, particularly from an infiltration, espionage, and assassination specialist such as his brother, and girlfriends _definitely_ weren't part of that equation. Personally, Itachi didn't mind the idea of Sasuke putting his operative days behind him. He'd _never_ exactly been fond of his brother putting his life on the line, even when it came to Konoha's security. But he wanted Sasuke to be happy, and he'd gotten the sense that his _otouto's_ career was, for better or for worse, his chief concern at this time.

As he worked through his thoughts, Itachi was well aware that Shisui was watching him carefully, the mouth of his beer bottle hanging a few inches from his lips. Itachi was a master of self-control, but his friend had a lifetime of experience with reading him, and he could sense the man putting that knowledge to use now. "It's for his own good, Tachi," the older man murmured rather seriously. "I wouldn't have interfered had I felt any differently."

"Interfered?"

Shisui shrugged rather ruefully. "Don't kill me for this, but I _might_ have helped nudge the two lovebirds together. It was really Yamanaka Ino's idea, and my hands were pretty much tied, but I didn't think it would do any harm. Besides, you brother was well on his way to bungling everything. It was an act of _charity_ , I tell you."

 _Of course, Yamanaka Ino was involved._ If memory served him right, the woman was Sakura's closest friend, and Itachi knew from Shisui's experiences with her that she was one _dreadfully_ manipulative kunoichi. "Let me guess. Yamanaka-san cast you in the part of the rival lover, and you were happy to comply given that you've made a lifetime habit out of torturing my brother."

His cousin chuckled. "Pretty much. Ino-chan's not so subtle, is she? You missed the whole bit about their little one-night stand setting the stage for everything, but that admittedly came as a surprise to me as well, so full marks."

 _A one-night stand. With his longtime teammate and medic. Well, that_ definitely _sounded like his little brother_. _Unfortunately._ "And is Sasuke… _happy_ about these developments?"

Shisui grinned, taking another swig of beer. "He's admittedly been keeping his distance from me since the whole rival lovers thing. I _think_ he knows the truth about why I tried to hook up with Sakura, but he's cranky about having been manipulated. From what I've observed from afar, though, he seems pretty damn content. They're like two horny little bunnies, Itachi. They just can't get enough of each other. You have _no_ idea how _weird_ it's been to see Sasuke so… _not mopey_ all the time."

 _Oh, to the contrary. As of forty-five minutes ago, he had_ way _too much of an idea what that was like._ Itachi drained the rest of his bottle, setting it down on the coffee table with a flourish. "Hn. Well, much as I'd like to stay longer, I suppose I should probably be heading out, Shi-kun. Minato awaits. And after that, Mikoto and Fugaku. And Sasuke, if I'm fortunate."

His cousin chuckled. "That's some schedule. You know, Itachi, I have to say. I _don't_ envy you."

"Hn. Me neither."

And with that, Itachi bid his cousin a fond farewell and headed swiftly to Minato's office, the late afternoon sun at his back and his thoughts consumed by his foolish little brother. For, as pleased as the Uchiha heir was that Sasuke had apparently found happiness with Sakura, he was also extremely wary as to where his brother's newfound relationship would lead him. A life as a non-ANBU jounin could be a fulfilling one - Kakashi-senpai was a wonderful example of that - but he knew his _otouto_ well. At not even twenty-five, with his ego, his drive, and his thirst to prove himself, there was simply no way that an _ordinary_ jounin lifestyle would keep him sated. No, Sasuke required a constant challenge, a healthy amount of structure, and, for better or for worse, a sense of _power_. ANBU offered him all that, and filling the void was going to be difficult, if not impossible.

Reaching Minato's office door, Itachi was rapidly ushered inside by Nara Shikamaru with a bored yet respectful nod. Greeting the Hokage with a courteous little bow and a deferential "Hokage-sama," Itachi glanced up, waiting for the Yondaime to address him. Over the course of the past decade, the two had grown extremely close as collaborators, political allies, and personal friends. When not off on a mission or sparring with other jounin, Itachi could often be found by the older man's side, discussing and strategizing about the village's place in the shinobi world order and offering his support and perspective on a myriad of issues related to Konoha's well-being. He held no official title beyond that of ANBU captain - given his role as Uchiha heir, the High Council would have been up in arms at the very thought of Itachi being given any additional prestige - but such formalities were trivial between the pair.

Minato smiled warmly over his stack of paperwork, blue eyes shining merrily as their gazes met. "Welcome home, Itachi-kun. I understand from your advance report that negotiations in Kumo were successful. As usual, you have my utmost thanks and gratitude. The trip home was smooth?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama. I'll have a full report in order by Wednesday. The Raikage asked me to pass along his best wishes."

The Yondaime chuckled benevolently. "Always the true diplomat these days. I'm sure Ay-sama's actual message was nowhere near so flattering. No rush on the report, although I have no doubt that it will be on my desk soon enough, Itachi. You truly never fail to impress."

Itachi's lower lip twitched upwards slightly in acknowledgment of the compliment. "Given that this may be my final assignment for some time, I intend to fully meet all expectations." At that, Minato frowned. "I assume that my _oto-san_ has kept you apprised of his intentions to begin transitioning over his responsibilities as clan head to me?"

"Hai, Fugaku-san and I have spoken," the Hokage confirmed shortly, expression impassive. "We can address the details more fully at a later date, but I do look forward to working with you in your new role, Itachi."

The Uchiha nodded, not trusting himself to speak further. While he considered Minato a friend and confidant, he was also his Hokage, and, as such, there was no need for him to know how conflicted he felt about assuming his father's mantle. His personal feelings were irrelevant, after all, and it was really clan business.

Ever the perceptive shinobi, the Yondaime seemed to sense his companion's unease. His usual benevolent smile returning to his face, Minato rose to his feet behind his desk. "Well, Itachi, let me see you out. As much as I enjoy our longer conversations, I suspect that you're eager to be getting home to the Uchiha District today, and I don't wish to keep you. After all, you and your family have much to discuss."

"Hai, Minato-sama." And with that, Itachi allowed himself to be escorted out of the Hokage's office, trying not to let the awareness that this was very likely his last post-mission ANBU audience too fully get to him. _Kami, was he going to miss it._

* * *

Entering his family home, Itachi kicked off his shinobi sandals, noting the three sets of shoes by the door, and breathed in deeply, the smell of freshly baked sweets slightly lifting his rather low spirits. "Itachi-kun, is that you?" came the familiar call of his mother's voice from the kitchen. He'd sent a crow to his father last night letting him know he'd be home the following day, and, knowing his mother, she'd very likely spent the afternoon whipping up a feast of his favorites for dinner.

Joining Mikoto in their kitchen, he greeted her warmly, gladly accepting her hug and kiss on the cheek as his eyes took in her form, her spotless white apron subtly emphasizing her still-slender waist. His mother had been famed for her beauty in her youth, and she was still an undeniably handsome woman in her middle age, the streaks of silver through her thick, dark hair and the soft lines on her face giving her appearance a soft wisdom. "It's so good to have you home, Tachi," she murmured fondly, before releasing him to arm's length and beginning her careful inspection of his appearance. "Tch, your face has gotten too thin. What did they feed you in Kumo, clouds?"

Itachi smiled softly at his mother's concern, well used to it. "The food was fine, _okaa-san_. It's just that no one's cooking can rival yours. But not to worry. Now that I'm home for good, you'll have all the time in the world to fatten me up."

"Hn," his mother agreed idly before turning her attention back to the stove where a stew of some kind was vigorously bubbling away. "Can I get you anything to drink? Water, tea? We should still have some of that chamomile one you liked, I think."

"I'm fine, _kaa-san_. I had a drink at Shisui's before coming here. Where are Sasuke-kun and _tou-san_?"

"Your father's in his study, working as usual," Mikoto replied, and Itachi felt a vague stirring of revulsion in his stomach. His mother meant utterly nothing by the comment - it was a simple fact - but the very knowledge that Fugaku was spending another Sunday locked away with paperwork was just another reminder of his too-soon fate. _Well, he'd never been one to shy away from hard work before. He'd survive it, dull as it might be._

"And Sasuke?"

"In the shower, I think." His mother turned around from the stove, her cheeks suddenly rosy. "Oh, Tachi, that reminds me. Did Shisui-kun tell you about your _otouto_ 's big news? Sasuke-kun has a girlfriend! Haruno Sakura. Isn't she a _perfect_ match? It's been so wonderful having her around the house the past couple of weeks. Well, the first night he had her over was a little... _awkward_. I know the two of you are full-grown men, but there are certain _things_ I'm just not sure a mother can ever get used to hearing her sons engage in."

 _Seriously, otouto? The family house? With your_ parents _down the hall?_ Mikoto chuckled in vague embarrassment. "But, other than that one little slip-up, it's been delightful. And I've never seen Sasuke so happy. Your father and I are just thrilled, of course. And you know how exacting your _oto-san_ can be..."

"Hn, Shisui mentioned something about Sakura-san," Itachi replied vaguely, the image of his brother vigorously thrusting into Sakura's nude form dancing through his mind once again in a torture almost as cruel as _Tsukuyomi_. _Gods, was this his life now?_ "Well, I think I'm going to go lie down for a spell, _kaa-san_. Unless there's anything I can assist with for dinner?"

"Oh _no_ , Itachi-kun. I can handle it," Mikoto replied kindly, still clearly over-the-moon about his little brother's relationship. "You must be _exhausted_ after all of your work the past month. It should only be another hour or so. I'll wake you up when we're ready to eat."

She shooed him out of the kitchen, and Itachi traced his familiar way down the hallway that led to his and Sasuke's bedrooms and their shared bathroom. Just as he was about to turn into his room, the bathroom door swung open, and his _otouto_ stepped out in a wave of steam, bare chested, his dark hair a mess and a white towel wrapped around his waist. Itachi's eyes ran over his brother's face and torso, noticing with vague disgust several telltale bruises along his collarbone. _He was sleeping with a medic, and he couldn't even do the world the courtesy of having her heal away his hickeys. Very tacky, little brother._

" _Nii-san_. You're home," Sasuke observed rather flatly, expression impassive. It was such a contrast with his wild hair that Itachi found himself fighting back a snort of amusement. "Do you have time to talk? There's something I want to ask you about."

"Ah. Put on some clothing, and we'll meet in my room," Itachi agreed. He'd been rather looking forward to his catnap, if the truth be told, but he suspected that Sasuke could use some good, strong advice, particularly since he'd apparently been giving Shisui that cold shoulder for the past few weeks.

Sasuke nodded and continued his way down the hall. As Itachi's eyes followed his brother's retreating figure, he noticed with another shudder the _nail marks_ that had been scratched into his _otouto'_ s back. It wasn't exactly a surprise to discover that Sakura could be a bit of an aggressive lover - she was a kunoichi, after all, and her fighting style had always been quite taijutsu-centric - but _seriously,_ couldn't she patch him up a little bit after? _As Sasuke's older brother, he really, really didn't want to know the gory details of his sex life..._

Entering his room, Itachi put down his pack and opened the window. The cool mid-April breeze hit his face, and he breathed in deeply, savoring the scent of the fresh Konoha air. _Being in the village really wasn't so bad._ The adjustment period to serving as clan head was liable to be rough, but, perhaps, he'd get used to it in time.

A soft knock alerted Itachi to his brother's presence. "Come in, Sasuke," he called out softly, turning from the window to meet his brother's gaze. The younger man had changed into a pair of loose, dark pants and a navy clan shirt with the traditional high collar that the Uchiha were known for ( _perfect for hiding love bites,_ he suddenly realized _)_. Wordlessly, he took the desk chair, while Itachi stretched himself out on the bed, his body suddenly feeling the weight of the month-long negotiations and travel home from Kumo. "So, _otouto_ , how are things?" He asked casually, propping his head up with his folded arms so that he could still see Sasuke's face.

"Fine. How was the mission?"

 _Tch, playing hard to get, Sasuke-kun? It's much too late for that._ Itachi sighed, not particularly looking forward to having to draw out his brother after a solid month of dealing with Ay. "Successful."

"As usual."

 _Well, he didn't have to sound so morose about it._ "Ah. Have you ever been to Kumo, Sasuke-kun? It's quite nice. Spectacular views."

"Hn. No. Little work for an infiltration and espionage specialist in our allied villages," his brother observed shortly.

"That's fair. I suppose you tend to spend more time in Sound and Rain, neh?"

"Stone, too. At least until that treaty you oversaw last fall."

Sasuke fell silent, and Itachi eyed him rather expectantly, one eyebrow raised. "Surely, _otouto_ , you had something of more _personal significance_ to discuss than my diplomatic endeavors," he prompted the younger man as the silence stretched into its sixth minute. Because, yes, Itachi totally counted the awkward pauses in his conversations with his little brother. It was a bit of a hobby, actually. The record was nine minutes and fifty-two seconds, back when Sasuke had been thirteen, awkward as fuck, and had come to him about the birds and the bees.

"Ah," Sasuke agreed before falling silent again.

 _Damn it all._ _Did he really expect his_ nii-san _to do all the heavy lifting in this conversation?_ It appeared so, for the man's lips remained firmly pressed together in a semi-scowl while his hands twitched slightly on the desk in what Itachi immediately recognized as nervousness. Well, he'd always been a benevolent brother - too nice, according to Shisui - so he'd once again help his _otouto_ out. "So, tell me about Haruno Sakura," Itachi prompted, forcefully willing his mind _not_ to jump back to his encounter with the couple just a couple of hours prior.

"I love her," Sasuke replied flatly, his hands twitching more forcefully on the desk. _Kami, could he be any less enthusiastic about his feelings?_ But no, that wasn't entirely fair. This was _Sasuke,_ and Itachi knew his little brother well. The very fact that he was _admitting_ to caring was a stark statement of how deeply he felt about the pink-haired medic.

Taking pity on the man, Itachi casually tossed him a shuriken, which he began spinning forcefully. "Well… that's _good_ , Sasuke, right?" Itachi noted. "I just spoke with _kaa-san_ about it, actually. It sounds like everyone in the clan approves, so I don't see what the prob-"

"Tch. I'm to be deployed on a seduction mission to Ame on Wednesday, and I don't know what to tell _her_. I was informed this morning." For a moment, the man stopped fidgeting and glared at Itachi as if _he'd_ been the one to give him the assignment, before promptly redirecting his gaze down to the shuriken and continued twirling it even more angrily than before.

 _So Sasuke_ had _figured out the whole ANBU and relationships don't jive thing._ Itachi wasn't really surprised. After all, despite his dreadful way with words, Sasuke was quite bright, and he'd spent enough time in ANBU to see how their fellow operatives had tried (and usually) failed to manage their own romantic headaches. Moreover, even if he wasn't an emotional genius, his _otouto_ obviously had to know that Sakura wouldn't take so kindly to him sleeping with anyone else, even for the sake of a mission. She was a fine kunoichi, but she was also a woman. And she had an excellent point... after all, Itachi would _never_ permit his girlfriend to take a seduction mission. If he actually had one, that was. "Hn, well, that _does_ sound problematic," Itachi admitted. "I suppose you're telling me this because you want me to find you a way out?

" _Ah_ ," Sasuke agreed earnestly. "I don't _want_ to do it. But I can't just _turn down_ a mission, Tachi…"

"Why not?"

"Hn?"

"Why not just turn it down?" Itachi asked. He obviously knew the answer: _No one_ turned down a Black Ops assignment, and certainly not for a personal reason like a girlfriend getting upset about her partner possibly being required to seduce a target. But he'd always rather liked to play the role of devil's advocate. For Sasuke tended to think rather linearly, and pushing him out of his comfort zone could sometimes yield surprisingly fruitful solutions.

"My ANBU career would be _over_ ," Sasuke replied darkly, a decidedly haunted expression coming over his face. "Right after I first told Sakura… how I felt, I thought about just walking away from the Black Ops. But, well, I _need_ ANBU, Tachi. It's not like you, with the clan."

 _Tch. Sasuke had no idea how onerous the clan obligation felt at the moment._ But, of course, that was his own problem, and he certainly wasn't about to burden his already stressed-out _otouto_ with it. Itachi sighed, running his hands over his face. _Maybe he'd just skip dinner and sleep once this increasingly hellish conversation was over._ "Well, Sasuke, it appears that you have three options. Don't do it. Tell Sakura, hope she understands, and do it. Or do it and _don't_ tell her." Sasuke's dark brows shot up towards his hairline at the third option, and Itachi quickly added, "But not telling is basically dooming your relationship. She's your _medic_ , Sasuke. Even if you lie and she buys into it this time, she's _eventually_ going to find out. If you come home with some sort of... _illness_ or something..."

Sasuke swallowed hard. "I guess I have to tell her then. Fuck. Everything had been going _so well_ too..."

"Hn, yes, so I'd seen." Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise, and Itachi realized what a _horrific_ slip-up that had been. _Gods, his mind was even more exhausted from Ay's buffoonery than he'd thought._ "Heard, I mean. Heard from Shisui and _kaa-san_."

Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. "Itachi. You didn't try to stop by Sakura's apartment this after-"

"Boys! Dinner!"

 _Oh, thank Kami. His mother truly was a treasure._ Itachi quickly sprung off the bed and dashed towards the door, ignoring Sasuke's curious expression as he made a beeline for the kitchen where he found his mother and father already seated at the table. "Ah, Itachi. Mikoto informed me that you'd returned home about an hour ago," his father observed by way of a greeting. "How was your mission?"

"It went well, _oto-san_. The Raikage agreed to a five-year extension of our shared intelligence treaty, with the option of extending it further in the fourth year."

"Hn. Good to hear. Minato-sama tells me you've become a true asset when it comes to intra-village negotiations." Sasuke had joined them while Fugaku was talking, slipping into his seat across from Itachi with a silent glare.

"I do my best, _oto-san_ ," Itachi replied simply, tucking into the cabbage stew his mother had prepared and shooting Sasuke a somewhat apologetic glance. Well aware of his brother's unfortunate inferiority complex, he usually tried to keep such talk with his father to a minimum.

Unfortunately for Sasuke's sanity, it seemed that Fugaku was very much into the idea of highlighting Itachi's accomplishments tonight, however, for he took a sip of water and then continued. "As you know, Itachi, I'd been _skeptical_ when the Hokage started giving you these noncombat assignments, but it seems that I may have underestimated their value. I understand that the Raikage and the Mizukage both consider you a _personal friend_ these days. Such connections are truly valuable to the clan. And Konoha, I suppose."

 _Tch, he better believe they were valuable to Konoha_. After the Raikage's ranting and raving for the past month about damn Leaf shinobi and the Mizukage's failed seduction of him four months prior, it was rather amusing to hear that they apparently considered Itachi their _friends_ , but, well, he wasn't about to correct his father. That never ended well.

Glancing over at Sasuke - who was studiously staring down at his plate of untouched stew with a white-knuckled grip on his chopsticks - Itachi swallowed his mouthful of cabbage and nodded in acknowledgment. "I've been fortunate to have had the exposures," he commented noncommittally. "Hopefully, my experiences will translate over to relations with the elders as I assume my role as head of the clan."

Unexpectedly, Mikoto chose that moment to jump into the conversation, giving her husband a rather fixed look from across the table. After all, she usually kept herself firmly out of such political talk. "Itachi-kun, your _oto-san_ had something to say about that, actually. Didn't you, _Fugaku_?"

Itachi's eyebrows shot up towards his forehead. Glancing quickly across the table at Sasuke, he discovered that his surprise was mirrored by his wide-eyed _otouto_. Then, shifting his gaze to his father, Itachi was rather nonplussed by the discovery that the man looked distinctly _uncomfortable_ , almost as if he'd swallowed a lemon. He'd couldn't recall ever seeing his father so caught off guard, although, needless to say, it was _not_ a good look. "Hn. Mikoto, do we have to do this _now_? Over dinner? I thought we could wait a couple of weeks. Itachi just returned from his mission, after all, and -"

" _Fugaku_ , we're discussed this, and the Elders and Hokage have all signed off. _And_ Sasuke-kun is to be deployed on a... _problematic_ mission this week, you know. Remember our little chat about Sakura-san? Time _is_ of the essence."

Itachi smirked as Sasuke choked on his mouthful of cabbage. " _Kaa-san_. My mission's supposed to be _classified_. How did you -"

Mikoto smiled rather gamely, and Itachi felt a surge of respect for his mother reverberate through his chest. "Sasuke-kun, your _kaa-san_ has _ears,_ you know. I couldn't help but overhear your little chat with your brother in his room. For future reference, noises _of all kinds_ carry a lot farther in this house than you'd think." She paused, and Itachi noticed with infinite bemusement that his brother's ears had turned scarlet. "But no matter; I won't tell Minato-sama about your little slip-up. Now, Fugaku? Care to do the honors, or shall I?"

His mother had always handled his father _so_ well. It was rather remarkable, actually, as well as infinitely amusing to see such a proud man put in his place. Fugaku cleared his throat, his dark eyes narrowing in displeasure as he met his eldest son's eyes. "Itachi. As you know, your title as Uchiha clan heir is your _birthright_. Barring defection or expulsion from the clan, it is something that cannot be taken away from you or transferred to another. Now, traditionally, the title comes with a rather narrowly defined role, the position you've witnessed me serving in over the course of your lifetime. But, the duties of clan head are those of custom, _not_ of law. You are _technically_ allowed to delegate your responsibilities and decision making as fully as you wish." With that, his lips clamped firmly shut in a tight line, and he glared rather peevishly at his triumphant wife.

 _Well, that was… positively perfect._ Itachi shot a furtive glance across the table at Sasuke to discover with glee that his brother's mouth was hanging wide open in shock, a mouthful of stew forgotten several inches above his plate. " _I see_. _Otouto_ , I'm sure this is going to come as a disappointment, but I'm afraid you're going to need to inform Minato-sama that you _won't_ be able to take that mission to Amegakure, after all. As Uchiha clan heir, I have urgent need of your services in Konoha for the foreseeable future. In fact, you may want to consider speaking with him about coming off of the ANBU active roster altogether, at least until we've fully transitioned _oto-san_ 's daily responsibilities over to you."

" _Nii-san_. Are you… _sure_ …?" Sasuke's eyes were almost bugging out of his head, yet the manner in which his lips were twitching slightly upwards suggested that it was a distinctly _positive_ sort of shock, as if all of his hopes and dreams were suddenly coming true at once.

 _Foolish little brother. He had utterly_ no _idea what he was getting himself into._ But he would learn. Hell, given his lifelong desire for recognition from the clan, he might even _enjoy_ himself. At the very least, he'd most certainly get his wish: The elders would soon know _exactly_ who he was. "Sasuke, I've never been more certain of anything in my life," Itachi replied smoothly, well aware that Fugaku was hanging onto his every word. "As much as it pains me to admit it, I have yet to identify a jutsu that allows me to be in multiple places at once for an extended period of time. Given my obligations to Minato-sama, which I feel a responsibility to continue as a loyal citizen of Konoha now that I'm fully aware of my options, it would be _unfair_ to the clan for me to do anything but ask you to step in and handle day-to-day operations in my too-frequent absences." _Yes, well said. Respectful of the opportunity yet firm in his intention. There was no way his_ oto-san _could object to any of that._

"Ah, well, that's settled," Mikoto interjected forcefully, dark eyes shining in pleasure. "That is, unless you have any objections, Sasuke-kun?"

"Tch, no, _kaa-san_. If this is really what Itachi wants, though. I mean I don't _want_ him to feel like he's being forced to give -"

Itachi resisted the urge to roll his eyes, aware that his _otouto's_ stalling could easily open the situation up enough for his glowering father to express his doubts and/or displeasure. "Sasuke. Enough. It's what I want. Now, why don't you finish your dinner? I suspect that you'll be eager to break the news to Sakura-chan, neh?"

" _Ah_."

 _Yes, Itachi suspected that Haruno Sakura was going to be one very happy kunoichi indeed._

* * *

The next few weeks were a blur in the Uchiha household: multi-hour meetings with the elders, late-night discussions with Fugaku (for the man seemed to think that enough persistence might dissuade Itachi from his decision to leave all daily clan affairs to his brother… _very unlikely_ ), and daily rounds of planning sessions with Sasuke and Shisui, whom Itachi had managed to convince to serve as Sasuke's unofficial advisor when not off on one of his own ANBU missions. After getting over the initial shock and sleeping off what had likely been an extremely heated and late night at Sakura-chan's following the big reveal (at least judging from his uncharacteristic laziness the following day), Sasuke was handling it all rather well. While Itachi expected that his brother would eventually come to miss the excitement that came from receiving an S-class assassination mission (they were shinobi, after all, and it did evoke a certain rush), he was optimistic that the twin lures of serving as acting clan head in Itachi's absence and a representative on the High Council would keep him more-or-less sated. Besides, it wasn't like Itachi would be out of Konoha for good. He'd give Sasuke a periodic break from his day-to-day responsibilities for a nice, healthy mission or two. Occasionally. If he was feeling generous.

And, of course, Sakura's presence was another massive reward for putting up with all the elders' crap. For there was no denying that Sasuke was completely smitten with the pink-haired medic. He might not be the most eloquent when it came to verbally expressing his love, but, to Itachi's well-trained eye, the change in his brother's mannerisms were loud and clear. The light in his eyes, the soft upturn of his lips, the slightly more laid-back stance whenever she was around all spoke to how deeply he cared for the woman.

A month following his return to Konoha from Kumo - he and Minato had agreed that it would be wise if he stayed local for the most critical time of transition, well aware of the Uchiha elders' rich history of attempting to overthrow the public order - Itachi received his next assignment. He was off to Suna to represent Minato at a routine gathering of allies. He'd returned home from the Hokage's office following his briefing and was putting the finishing touches on his travel pack when a familiar knock interrupted his thoughts. " _Otouto_. Come in."

Glancing up from his bag, he met his brother's steady gaze, noticing a certain, nervously twitchy aura that hadn't manifested itself nearly as often of late. " _Nii-san_ , do you have a minute?"

"What's going on, Sasuke?" Itachi was somewhat nonplussed by how _tentative_ his _otouto_ sounded. After all, he'd known from the minute Itachi had first asked him to serve in his stead as leader of the Uchiha that he was going to be leaving the village on a regular basis. The was kind of _the point_ of the whole arrangement, after all. Was Sasuke getting cold feet _now_ , hours before he was scheduled to depart for a two-plus-week assignment? It seemed rather unlike him - if anything, his brother usually tended to be a bit overconfident about his abilities - but given the current circumstances, it was hard to imagine what else he could possibly want.

"I was hoping you could give me some advice before you left. It's about Sakura, and it's _personal_. I'd rather talk to you than Shisui…" He trailed off looking rather helpless, and Itachi's left eyebrow shot towards the ceiling in surprise.

 _That was fair given Shisui's track record for mercilessly teasing his "little cousin" at every opportunity possible. Now, something personal involving Sakura than Sasuke apparently didn't want to approach Shisui or_ kaa-san _about. Hn…_

"Sasuke... Sakura-chan's not _pregnant_ , is she?"

" _Nii-san!_ " Sasuke had the good sense to look somewhat scandalized, and Itachi found himself letting out a large sigh of relief. He rather liked the idea of nieces and nephews down the road, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to live under the same roof as Mikoto if she got wind that her first grandchild was on the way. The "whole Sasuke-kun-has-a-girlfriend" thing had been bad enough. Besides, a baby could really throw a rusty kunai in their "acting clan head" plan. For the elders were traditionalists and _definitely_ wouldn't like the idea of a main branch child being conceived out of wedlock. As far as they were concerned, premarital sex itself was highly questionable, a fact that had prompted Itachi to give his _otouto_ a rather stern, decidedly uncomfortable, talking to about keeping his nocturnal visits to Sakura's apartment and their resultant "battle wounds" _somewhat_ discrete.

"Well, then, what is it?" Itachi was in no real mood for twenty questions, Sasuke-kun-style today. He had a timetable to try and keep, after all.

The silence stretched… seven… eight… nine minutes… were they going to hit a new record? Nine-thirty… nine-forty… it was looking likely! But no, at nine minutes and forty-six seconds, Sasuke licked his lips and murmured almost under his breath, " _Nii-san_. I… want to _propose_. To Sakura."

Itachi blinked to suppress the jolt of shock. Which was a reasonable reaction. In some ways, it _was_ rather sudden. After all, Sasuke and Sakura had really only been together for slightly over a month by his reckoning, and given how busy he'd been with clan affairs and she with the hospital, they hadn't exactly spent every single day by one another's sides. And yet, it was _really_ a long time coming, now, wasn't it? For they'd known one another since they were children, and there had been a certain, relationship-like familiarity between them for much of the last decade. A "sexual tension," as Shisui rather foully liked to put it (just to make Itachi squirm, of course). "Well, Sasuke, have you talked to anyone else about this? Like… _Sakura_ , for example?"

"Not yet. I was going to talk to _kaa-san_ and _oto-san_ after you, and then the elders at the next clan meeting, tomorrow evening. And then Sakura... and her parents." He looked positively nauseous at the thought, which was fair. After all, he might be a talented shinobi from a storied clan, but one's prospective in-laws _were_ one's prospective in-laws.

"Hn. Maybe talk to the Harunos before the elders, Sasuke. In my admittedly limited experience, parents usually like to know these sorts of things, and there's no point falsely getting the elders' hopes up if Sakura says no."

"Ah." Sasuke's brows contracted. "You don't think she'll say no, do you?"

 _Poor, tortured_ otouto _._ "Well, Sasuke, you never know… you're not the _easiest_ man to live with." At that, Sasuke's expression became so pained that Itachi felt himself feeling rather guilty for the tease. _How did Shisui do it so flawlessly? Hn, perhaps his cousin was more of a heartless bastard than he thought._ "But no, I don't."

Sasuke let out an audible sigh of relief, shoulders dropping as if a literal weight had been lifted. That was, until a new wave of terror suddenly seemed to grip him, dark eyes widening in a sudden panic. "But _nii-san_ … what do I _say_?"

For the almost quarter century that he'd been Sasuke's brother, Itachi had been answering this very question. How to tell _kaa-san_ he didn't actually _want_ a cookie but would prefer a tomato, thank you very much. How to ask _oto-san_ to get around with teaching him their clan's signature _Katon no Jutsu_. What to say to Iruka-sensei on his first day at the academy, to his teammates when the genin pairs were decided on, to Kakashi-senpai at their first official Team 7 meeting. How to behave in front of Minato-sama at their first genin mission assignment, their first chunin assignment, and later his jounin swearing-in ceremony and his first ANBU audience. Indeed, over the past month, he'd been advising his _otouto_ on what to say more than ever, as he navigated relations with their still-reluctant father and the dubious clan elders and made his first few appearances in a leading role at clan and High Council meetings.

 _But, when it came to this…._ Giving the man before him a small smile, Itachi picked up his pack, slung it over his shoulder, and then turned in the direction of the door. Stopping next to Sasuke, he looked up - for his little brother had a good inch or two on him these days - and raised his left index and middle fingers to his forehead, tapping it slightly in the center in a gesture that dated far back to their childhood.

" _That_ , _otouto_ , I leave to you."

* * *

Itachi was a week into his time in Suna and had just returned to his inn after an early dinner when a gentle cawing alerted him to the presence of a raven on the railing of the little balcony outside his room. Immediately recognizing the summons as one of Sasuke's, he quickly stepped out into the rapidly cooling dusk and fetched the bird to discover a trio of letters. Returning to his room, he settled onto the bed, rather eager for the promised news from home.

The first message was from his father. As was always the case with Fugaku, it was extremely short, businesslike, and to the point. Sasuke's first week in his new role appeared to be going well, or, at least, his name was completely absent from the note, which suggested that there was nothing that his always exacting _oto-san_ _could_ complain about. He wished Itachi success at the meeting and inquired as to whether his son could arrange a meeting between a few of the more conniving clan elders and the Raikage. _Short answer: Hell no._

Next, came a tome from his mother, whose writing style had always been as detailed and emotive as his father's was not. She inquired as to his health, the climate of Suna, the condition of his lungs, and whether the desert sands would exacerbate it. Next came the standard questions about marriage: Whether there were any _female_ diplomats at the conference and/or that lovely blonde sister of the Kazekage's. _Yes, she was there. She was fine. He still wasn't interested. Nor would it_ ever _work._ Which she knew. She was just being _difficult._ Then, moving on from her oldest son, her handwriting growing a bit sloppier in testament to what he suspected was an emotional maelstrom, and he received the news he'd been hoping for ever since departing Konoha last week. Sasuke was officially engaged. He'd proposed after a one-on-one spar on Training Ground 3 in a move that Mikoto seemed rather horrified by but Itachi found to be utterly classic Sasuke, and the wedding would be in early June. Because, apparently, the couple was just that eager.

He quickly skimmed the final fifteen paragraphs - all details regarding wedding planning that he was sure he was going to hear the minute he crossed the threshold of their family home next week - and then turned his attention to the final letter in the packet. The letter from Sasuke.

Like his father, Sasuke's note was short and to the point. In two sentences, he confirmed that clan affairs and work on the High Council were going as well as to be expected. Sentence three was dedicated to the news of his engagement, stating that Sakura had accepted and that their _kaa-san_ had roped the medic into daily wedding planning meetings. For denied a daughter, it appeared that his mother intended to make up for lost time. Yes, it was all rather expected… until he got to the last few sentences.

" _PS:_ _I lied. Sakura's pregnant. You're the first person we've told. What do we say?"_

 _Foolish little brother._ Well, there was officially no doubt about it. He might one day pine for the excitement of his ANBU days, but it appeared that life in Konoha had plenty in store for Uchiha Sasuke for a good long while.


End file.
